One-Liner Jokes

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A lawyer sent an overdue bill to a client. A note was attached that stated: "This bill is one year old."
By return mail the lawyer had his bill back. To it was attached a card which read: "Happy Birthday."

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One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes

Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Food Jokes One-Liner Jokes Phone jokes

What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope it's Halloween.

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Halloween Jokes One-Liner Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Holiday Jokes

Walter: I ain't afraid of the cops around Santa Ana. You seen some of these guys? What, cops on bicycles?
How intimidating is this: Alright buddy, pull it over. Ching-ching-ching? What do they do when they arrest somebody? Alright, get in the basket.

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One-Liner Jokes

In court to plead his case, an alleged auto thief listened as the judge asked the simple question, "How do you plead?"
The defendant, representing himself replied, "Before I plead, your honor, I'd like to explain just why I stole that car."

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Judge and Court Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A teacher asked her class to write on "What's the bravest thing your dad has done?"
A student wrote... "My dad married my mom."

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One-Liner Jokes School Jokes

When I was married, my wife used to call me handsome. As a matter of fact, we are now divorced but she STILL calls me handsome. Every time I have some money, she says, HANDSOME OVER.

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One-Liner Jokes Divorce Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

A donkey had an IQ of 186. He had no friends at all though...
Because even in the animal kingdom, nobody likes a smart-аss!

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One-Liner Jokes

Dad, will you help me with my homework?"
"I'm sorry," replied the father. "It wouldn't be right."
"Well, " said the boy, "at least you could try."

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Parent Jokes One-Liner Jokes

First Freshman in Math Exam: "How far are you from the correct answer?"
Second Freshman in Math Exam: "About two seats away."

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One-Liner Jokes

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting!”
So we stopped playing chess.

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One-Liner Jokes

I asked my doctor today how long he thought this COVID thing will last...
He said, “How should I know, I’m a doctor not a politician.”

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Coronavirus Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Ancient Romans considered vomitoriums a good place to un-wine.

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One-Liner Jokes

Lexicographer Noah Webster was blessed with define inspiration.

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One-Liner Jokes

It never fails...
Cashiers are always checking me out.

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One-Liner Jokes

So a burglar broke into my house...
I put the red dot on his chest and my cat did the rest!

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One-Liner Jokes

My boss said, “I find it highly suspicious that you are only sick on weekdays.”
I said, “It must be my weekend immune system.”

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One-Liner Jokes Boss Jokes

"The formal wedding between two boxers was a black eye affair."

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One-Liner Jokes Cheating Jokes

"What's that piece of cord tied around your finger for?"
"My wife put it there to remind me to take a letter to the Post Office."
"And did you mail it?"
"No, she forgot to give me the letter."

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One-Liner Jokes

Did you hear about the ancient Egyptian man that launched a successful stone quarry business?
Turns out it was a pyramid scheme all along.

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One-Liner Jokes