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One-Liner Jokes

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A lawyer sent an overdue bill to a client. A note was attached that stated: "This bill is one year old."
By return mail the lawyer had his bill back. To it was attached a card which read: "Happy Birthday."
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One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes
Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Food Jokes One-Liner Jokes Phone jokes
What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope it's Halloween.
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Halloween Jokes One-Liner Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Holiday Jokes
Walter: I ain't afraid of the cops around Santa Ana. You seen some of these guys? What, cops on bicycles?
How intimidating is this: Alright buddy, pull it over. Ching-ching-ching? What do they do when they arrest somebody? Alright, get in the basket.
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One-Liner Jokes
In court to plead his case, an alleged auto thief listened as the judge asked the simple question, "How do you plead?"
The defendant, representing himself replied, "Before I plead, your honor, I'd like to explain just why I stole that car."
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Judge and Court Jokes One-Liner Jokes
A teacher asked her class to write on "What's the bravest thing your dad has done?"
A student wrote... "My dad married my mom."
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Учителят пита: "- Какво е най-смелото нещо, което е правил баща ви?", а Иванчо отговори: "Да се ожени за майка ми"
One-Liner Jokes School Jokes
When I was married, my wife used to call me handsome. As a matter of fact, we are now divorced but she STILL calls me handsome. Every time I have some money, she says, HANDSOME OVER.
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One-Liner Jokes Divorce Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes
A donkey had an IQ of 186. He had no friends at all though...
Because even in the animal kingdom, nobody likes a smart-аss!
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One-Liner Jokes
Dad, will you help me with my homework?"
"I'm sorry," replied the father. "It wouldn't be right."
"Well, " said the boy, "at least you could try."
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Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?" Little Johnny's father said irately, "Son, it just wouldn't be right." "That's okay," replied... Çocuk babasından matematik ödevini yapmasına yardım etmesini ister ve. - Doğru olmaz oğlum, cevabını alır fakat o ısrarlıdır: - En azından dene baba... - Papá, papá, ¿Puedes hacerme la tarea de Matemática? - No hijo, no estaría bien. - Bueno, por lo menos inténtalo hacer. Llega un niño con su papá y la dice: - Papá, ¿Me puedes hacer mi tarea? - No hijo, no estará bien. Y el niño responde: -¡ Pero, inténtalo! ¿Sí?
Parent Jokes One-Liner Jokes
First Freshman in Math Exam: "How far are you from the correct answer?"
Second Freshman in Math Exam: "About two seats away."
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One-Liner Jokes
I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting!”
So we stopped playing chess.
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One-Liner Jokes
I asked my doctor today how long he thought this COVID thing will last...
He said, “How should I know, I’m a doctor not a politician.”
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- Докторе, кога най-после ще свърши тоя короновирус? - Доктор, когда закончится эпидемия коронавируса?
Coronavirus Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Ancient Romans considered vomitoriums a good place to un-wine.
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One-Liner Jokes
Lexicographer Noah Webster was blessed with define inspiration.
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One-Liner Jokes
It never fails...
Cashiers are always checking me out.
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One-Liner Jokes
So a burglar broke into my house...
I put the red dot on his chest and my cat did the rest!
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One-Liner Jokes
My boss said, “I find it highly suspicious that you are only sick on weekdays.”
I said, “It must be my weekend immune system.”
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One-Liner Jokes Boss Jokes
"The formal wedding between two boxers was a black eye affair."
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One-Liner Jokes Cheating Jokes
"What's that piece of cord tied around your finger for?"
"My wife put it there to remind me to take a letter to the Post Office."
"And did you mail it?"
"No, she forgot to give me the letter."
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One-Liner Jokes
Did you hear about the ancient Egyptian man that launched a successful stone quarry business?
Turns out it was a pyramid scheme all along.
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One-Liner Jokes
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