One-Liner Jokes

Most popular in this category

“I'm really good at being lazy. In fact, my doctor even said that if I continue being this lazy I should expect atrophy.”

59 0

Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes

I love Monday only during holidays!

58 0

One-Liner Jokes Monday jokes

I never wear a Halloween costume... I'm a character all year long!

58 0

Halloween Jokes One-Liner Jokes

I had a communist lover. She left Marx all over my body. They're only visible from certain Engels.

43 0

One-Liner Jokes

BLONDE: "Excuse me, what time is it right now?"
WOMAN: "It's 11:25PM."
BLONDE: (confused look on face) "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I've asked that question thirty times today, and every time someone gives me a different answer."

44 0

One-Liner Jokes Blonde Jokes

Blonde Bob was asked, "How many seconds there are in a year?"
He answered, "It's gotta be 12 seconds in a year - January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd..."

58 0

One-Liner Jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: What kind of candy do Indians give out on Halloween?
A: Dots.

29 0

Halloween Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes One-Liner Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes

When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

28 0

Chuck Norris Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes One-Liner Jokes

We live in an expanding universe.
All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

41 0

Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes Science jokes

Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."

46 0

Marriage and Family Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Q: Why can't blondes be cowgirls?
A: They can't keep their calves together.

59 0

One-Liner Jokes Blonde Jokes

What does a blonde and a turtle have in common? Once their on their back there sсrеwеd.

59 0

One-Liner Jokes Blonde Jokes

The old adage that "It takes a thief to catch a thief" may indeed be true. But these days there's a 3rd thief involved pleading the case -- the lawyer.

59 0

Lawyer Jokes One-Liner Jokes

The seven-year old girl told her mom, "A boy in my class asked me to play doctor."
"Oh, dear," the mother nervously sighed. "What happened, honey?"
"Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company."

59 0

One-Liner Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Insurance Comedy

`You seem to be in some distress,' said the kindly judge to the witness. `Is anything the matter?'
`Well, your Honor,' said the witness, `I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but every time I try, some lawyer objects.'

44 0

One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes

A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

0 0

Church jokes Religion jokes School Jokes Kids Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Me (texting): Are we still on for today?
Reply Received: You don’t have to text me this every morning! As your boss, trust me when I say, WE ARE "ON" FOR WORK EVERYDAY, MON - FRI!

60 0

One-Liner Jokes Boss Jokes

A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman.
Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role.
"Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong."

60 0

Police Officer Jokes One-Liner Jokes

What tree is thriving in this depressed economy? The weeping will owe.

61 0

One-Liner Jokes

Lindt has a new chocolate ball; they call them Cocoanuts.

40 0

One-Liner Jokes