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One-Liner Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity, so I returned it to the store. They gave me another one, free of charge.
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One-Liner Jokes
Fact of Life: After Monday & Tuesday Even the Calendar says W T F
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One-Liner Jokes Monday jokes
A young woman gazed up from her hospital bed at the very handsome doctor who was examining her chart. She fluttered her eyelids and said, "They tell me that you are a real lady killer."
The doctor smiled and shook his head. "No, I make no distinction between the sexes."
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Sex Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
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Днес беше ужасен ден. Бившата ми я удари автобус, а аз си загубих работата като шофьор на автобус
Dark Humor Jokes Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes One-Liner Jokes Relationship Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Morbid jokes
Patient: Doctor, I'm thinking that I may be losing my hearing.
Doctor: Can you tell me what you know of the symptoms?
Patient: Homer is bald and fат, Marge has blue hair...
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One-Liner Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes
Teacher: What is a synonym?
Student: A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the other!
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Ορθογραφία ”Et synonym er et ord, man kan bruge, når man ikke kan stave det, man tænkte først”. SYNONYME: Mot à écrire à la place de celui dont on n'est pas certain de l'orthographe. Toto demande à son père : - Papa, c'est quoi un synonyme ? - C'est un mot qu'on emploie quand on ne sait pas comment l'autre s'écrit. Vad är en synonym? Ett ord man använder när man inte kan stava till det man först hade tänkt använda! - Какво е синоним? - Това е дума, която използваме, когато не знаем как се пише първата
One-Liner Jokes School Jokes
My daughter told me she saw a deer on the way to school.
Me: “How do you know it was going to school?”
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One-Liner Jokes School Jokes
Pickpocket (visiting friend in jail): "I hired a lawyer for you this morning, Slim, but I had to hand him my Rolex as a retainer."
Slim: "Did he keep it?"
Pickpocket: "He thinks he did."
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Judge and Court Jokes One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes
A man was brought to a hospital with heavily fractured bones. The doctor in the intensive care unit asks him,
"Are you married?"
"No, I've been run over by a truck."
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Marriage and Family Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes
It’s my wife’s birthday soon and she’s been leaving jewelry catalogs all over the house.
She'll be happy to know I got the hint.
I got her a magazine rack!
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Marriage and Family Jokes One-Liner Jokes
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places.
He told me to quit going to those places.
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Скршеници Συμβουλή γιατρού !!! Έσπασα το πόδι μου Ο γιατρός και ο Πόντιος 3 μέρη Ο γιατρός. Един човек на патерици, влиза в кабинета, казва: O paciente chega para o médico chorando de dor e diz: - Doutor, quebrei meu braço em dois lugares. Preciso de ajuda. O que eu faço? O médico olha em seus olhos e diz: - Olha, rapaz, eu acho melhor você não voltar mais nesses lugares. - Доктор, я сломал руку в трех местах! - А зачем вы ходите в такие места?! Furiren får se soldat Svensson komma med armen i bandage och frågar: – Vad har du gjort? – Jag har brutit armen på två ställen, furir! – Då tycker jag att Svensson ska undvika de där ställena i... - Γιατρέ έσπασα το χέρι μου σε δυο μέρη. - Να αποφεύγεις αυτά τα δυο μέρη. Llega un hombre con un doctor y le dice: - Doctor, doctor, me rompí el brazo en varios sitios, ¿qué me recomienda? - Oh pues hombre, ya no vuelva pasar por esos sitios. - Γιατρέ πονάω σε 3 μέρη... - Να μην ξαναπάς εκεί...
Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes
What is it called when a chameleon can't change its colors anymore?
A reptile dysfunction.
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Animal Jokes One-Liner Jokes
I just saw some idiот at the gym...
He put a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill!
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One-Liner Jokes Fitness jokes
MONDAY: - Everybody hates me!
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One-Liner Jokes Monday jokes
My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list...
Now I can't read anything.
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One-Liner Jokes
Susie: My husband is a great handyman. He can repair almost anything.
Jane: My mother always taught me to beware of the man that can fix everything. You'll never get anything new.
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One-Liner Jokes
Q: What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A: Last years hide and go seek winner.
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Blondinen i skabet Hvad kalder man en død blondine der sidder i et skab? - Vinderen af sidste års gemmeleg. Vaaleatukkainen luuranko WC:ssä. Mikä se on? - Viime vuoden "Piiloudu & etsi" -kilpailun voittaja. Qu'est ce que le squelette d'une blonde dans un placard? La gagnante du concours de cache-cache de l'année passée! Wie nennt man eine tote Blondine auf dem Klo? Letztjährige Gewinnerin im Versteckspielen. What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? Hide-and-go-seek winner from last year. P:O que é um esqueleto com uma peruca dentro de um armário??? R:Vencedora do campeonato de esconde,esconde de 1954 - Ce este scheletul unei blonde intr-un sifonier? - Castigatoarea campionatului de-a v-ati ascunselea de anul trecut. Víte kdo je kostlivec ve skříni? . Loňský vítěz hry na schovávanou
Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Dear Monday:
I want to break up.
I am seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sorry.
It’s not me — it’s you
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One-Liner Jokes Monday jokes Friday jokes
Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the waiting room with a glass eye named Brown.
Doctor: What does he call his other eye?
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Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes Nurse jokes
I love you.
Is it you or the вееr talking?
It’s me. Talking to my вееr.
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Um homem sentado na varanda de sua casa com a esposa, diz:
Drinking and Drunk Jokes One-Liner Jokes Beer Jokes
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