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One-Liner Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
Why are priests called father? - Because its too suspicious to call them daddy.
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One-Liner Jokes Priest Jokes Dad Jokes Priest Jokes
Did you hear about that cat who swallowed a ball of yarn?
She had mittens!
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One-Liner Jokes
A Sunday School teacher asked her class, "Does anyone here know what we mean by sins of omission?"
A small girl replied, "Aren't those the sins we should have committed, but didn't?"
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School Jokes One-Liner Jokes
A lawyer sent an overdue bill to a client. A note was attached that stated: "This bill is one year old."
By return mail the lawyer had his bill back. To it was attached a card which read: "Happy Birthday."
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One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes
What do you call a dog that won’t come when you call it, refuses to sleep in it’s bed, and seldom wants to play?
A cat.
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One-Liner Jokes Dog jokes
Did you know that when a woman wears leather dress, a man's hearth beats quicker, his throat gets dry, he gets weak in his knees, an thinks irrationally.
Even wonder why?
It's because she smells like a new car!
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Много ме възбуждат жени с кожени дрехи. Pourquoi les hommes aiment les femmes qui portent des vêtements en cuir ? Parce qu'elles ont la même odeur que les voitures neuves. Dlaczego mężczyzn podniecają kobiety ubrane w skórę, lśniącą gumę i lateks? - Bo wyglądają i pachną wtedy jak nowiutkie samochodziki.
One-Liner Jokes
I'm sitting in a cafeteria next to a woman who was engrossed in her newspaper. One of the headlines blared: "12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed."
She shook her head at the sad news. Then, turning to me, she asked, "How many is a Brazilian?"
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Military Jokes
Q: How did the bishop make holy water?
A: He took some tap water and boiled the hеll out of it.
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Religion jokes One-Liner Jokes
I asked my wife the other day what she liked best about me...."Is it my firm, trim, athletic, body? Or, rather, is it my astounding intellect?"
She replied...."Your sense of humor, dear."
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One-Liner Jokes Wife jokes
Did you hear about the psychic amnesiac? He knew in advance what he was going to forget.
Did you hear about the new restaurant that just opened up on the moon? Great food, but no atmosphere.
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Американски астронавт пред комисия на НАСА по повод изпращането на китайски космонавт в космоса. Чухте ли? NASA открива ресторант на Луната. Казват, че менюто е отлично, но му липсвала атмосфера. 2030 година. НАСА открива първия в историята ресторант на Луната. Един от посетителите пише в книгата за гости: Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food but no atmosphere. Why did the restaurant on the moon get bad reviews? It has no atmosphere. Έχετε ακούσει για το καινούργιο εστιατόριο στη σελήνη; Το φαγητό είναι καταπληκτικό αλλά δεν έχει καθόλου ατμόσφαιρα. Due astronauti mangiano in un ristorante sulla luna. Uno dice: “Guarda, non è incredibile? Eccoci qui, che mangiamo in un ristorante sulla luna! Che te ne pare?”. “Si’, è carino, e il cibo è... Trwa ostra imprezka na Księżycu. W pewnej chwili ktoś mówi: - Wiesz co, Armstrong. Niby wszystko się zgadza... Rozpaliliśmy grilla, jest wódeczka, są kobitki, a jakoś atmosfery nie ma. Rzecz dzieje się na Księżycu. Amerykanie wysiedli z lądownika i powoli rozkręcają imprezę. Rozpalili grilla, wyciągnęli piwo, puścili muzyczkę - wiadomo. Wtem Armstrong odzywa się do... - Har du hört att de har öppnat en restaurang på månen? - Nej, hur är den? - Maten är bra, men det är ingen atmosfär. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? I heard the food was good but it had no atmosphere.. Har du hørt om restauranten på månen?– God mad, ingen atmosfære. Hvilke anmeldelser får restauranten der ligger på månen altid? -  4 stjerner. Der er god mad, men slet ingen atmosfære
One-Liner Jokes Restaurant Jokes
Why, on average, is the IQ so high in Japan?
Have you ever seen a Japanese blonde?
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Защо средното IQ на японците е по високо? Въпрос към радио Ереван - Защо японците са толкова умна нация? Отговорът на радиото - Нямат блондинки. — Чому японці така розумна нація? — У них немає блондинок. - Miért olyan okosak a japánok? - ??? - Mert nincsenek köztük szőkék. Proč je Japonsko nejrozvinutější stát? Protože tam nemají blondýnky.
Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Japanese Jokes
You might wonder why blonde nurses bring red crayons to work.
It's in case they have to draw blood. A comment from reddit user - Ethyques: Any crayon would work if it's sharp enough. Otherwise it would be pointless.
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Nurse jokes
A blonde was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote: "YES".
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Blonde's Salary A blonde was filling out a job application form. She quickly filled out the columns entitled: Name, Age, Address, etc. Finally, she came to the column: Salary Expected. She wrote, "YES."
Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
When you're having a good day and then you realise tomorrow is Monday.
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One-Liner Jokes Monday jokes
The opposite of isolate...
... is yousoearly.
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One-Liner Jokes
Someone broke into my garage last night and took a bunch of stuff, including my limbo stick!
Seriously, how low can you go?
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One-Liner Jokes
I built a model of Mount Everest.
My son asked, “Is it to scale?”
I replied, “No... it’s to look at.”
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One-Liner Jokes
Good news, the Lego store has reopened...
People are lined up for blocks!
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One-Liner Jokes
I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years because I found out she was a communist...
I should have known, there were red flags everywhere.
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One-Liner Jokes
MY MONDAY MORNING FACE
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One-Liner Jokes Monday jokes
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