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One-Liner Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
What plants like Halloween the most? Bam-BOO!
What do birds say on Halloween? Twick or tweet
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire? A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
What would you find on a haunted beach? A sand-witch!
Why didn’t the skeleton like the Halloween candy? He didn’t have the stomach for it!
What’s worse than being a five-ton witch on Halloween? Being her broom!
Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators? It raises their spirits.
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi.
What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher? Lots of blood tests!
Why are vampires so easy to fool? Because they’re suckers.
What did the ghost say when the skeleton lied to him? I can see right through you.
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Halloween Jokes One-Liner Jokes School Jokes Vampire jokes
Monday been canceled go back to bed!
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One-Liner Jokes Monday jokes
Ein ehrlicher Politiker, ein fleißiger Beamter und der großartige Weihnachtsmann finden einen 100-Euro-Schein. Wer darf ihn behalten? Der großartige Weihnachtsmann. Die beiden anderen existieren... Like før jul, var en ærlig politikker, en snill advokat og julenissen i heisen på et hotel. Like før dørene åpnet seg så alle 100kr som lå på golvet. Hvem tok den opp. Julenissen såklart, de to...
Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel.
Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up?Santa of course, because the other two don't exist!
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Judge and Court Jokes Christmas Jokes One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes Hotel Jokes
Mother (to sleeping Little Johnny): "Little Johnny, wake up! It’s twenty to eight."
Little Johnny (half asleep): "In whose favor?"
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Little Johnny Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Женската интуиция направо ме поразява. My girlfriend is sooo smart! Поражаюсь женской интуиции.
My wife is incredibly smart.
When I called her from my buddy’s phone she answered, “Hey love!”
She already knew it was me.
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One-Liner Jokes
I’ve been saying “mucho” to my Spanish friend a lot more often lately.
It means a lot to him.
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One-Liner Jokes
I don’t work on monday’s, i make appearances
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One-Liner Jokes Monday jokes
В лекарския кабинет: При доктора. Doctor says to the patient: “Your coughing sounds much better.” Arzt zum Patienten: „Ihr Husten hört sich aber heute schon viel besser an!“ Patient: „Kein Wunder, Herr Doktor, ich übe ja auch Tag und Nacht!“ Lægen til patienten: ”Nå, din hoste lyder da meget bedre her til morgen.” Patienten: "Tak skal du have. Jeg har også øvet mig på den hele natten..." - Dziś kaszle pani o wiele lepiej niż wczoraj... - Tak, panie doktorze, bo ja przez całą noc trenowałam! - Βήχετε πιο άνετα σήμερα το πρωί. - Προπονιομουνα όλο το βράδυ γιατρέ. Az orvoshoz ellenőrzésre jön a beteg. Az orvos megállapítja: - Kiss úr! Ön ma már sokkal szebben köhög, mint a múlt héten. - Nem csoda kérem, egész héten gyakoroltam.
Doctor: "Is your cough better this morning?"
Patient: "Yes. I've been practicing all night."
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Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Добро утро! И нека стреса започне СЕГА
Good Morning... Let the stress begin......
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One-Liner Jokes Monday jokes
I trained my dog to fetch me вееr... It may not sound too impressive, but he gets them from the neighbors fridge!
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Pet Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes One-Liner Jokes Beer Jokes Dog jokes
Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings...
One by one...
As each relative goes home.
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Thanksgiving Jokes One-Liner Jokes
My boss came to me at lunch, "Where the hеll have you been? I've been trying to find you all morning!"
I shrugged and said, "Good employees are hard to find!"
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Office and Work Jokes One-Liner Jokes Boss Jokes
It never fails...
Cashiers are always checking me out.
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One-Liner Jokes
NO, YOU CAN'T BE CHALIE SHEEN FOR HALLOWEEN!
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One-Liner Jokes Halloween Jokes
It is a scientific fact...
That your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.
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One-Liner Jokes
A group of butts is walking. The smallest struggles to keep up.
“Sorry, I’m a little behind.”
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One-Liner Jokes
Q: What do blondes and lava lamps have in common?
A: They're both nice to look at, but neither one of them is too bright.
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One-Liner Jokes Blonde Jokes
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm so indebted to her for.WC Fields (1880-1946)Picture: Perseus Book Group
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One-Liner Jokes Blonde Jokes
A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "Go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them."
A red head said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?"
The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'."
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
What do you call the boss at Old McDonald's Farm?
The CIEIO!
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One-Liner Jokes Boss Jokes
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