Philosophy Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

STALL WALL SCRAWL
From a Women’s Restroom
Diск’s Last Resort
Dallas, TX
A Woman’s Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles…
you’re going to have trouble with it.

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Jokes about Women Philosophy Jokes

Remember, You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.
~Wisdom From the Grizzled Old Man on a Park Bench with a Flask in a Paper Bag ~

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Men jokes Philosophy Jokes

You can't lose weight without exercise. But I've got a philosophy about exercise...

I don't think you should punish your legs for something your mouth did.

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Philosophy Jokes

For years, men have used the cliche, “Why buy the соw when milk is so cheap?”
Now the ladies have retaliated with, “Why buy the pig just to get a little sausage?”

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Men jokes Philosophy Jokes

Here I am with my bottle of Tequila, waiting for life to hand me a lemon.

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Philosophy Jokes

Modern philosophy:
If I went to the gym but then didn’t write a Facebook status about it, did it ever really happen?

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Facebook Jokes Philosophy Jokes Fitness jokes

Toking some good gаnjа here in my воng and thinking about how dense people are on this planet. Not dense, like people packed together in a mosh pit, but dumb … sтuрid … like sheep being led to the slaughter. …
…
“I Think of how sтuрid the average person is, and it hits me: average! That means half of the people are even more sтuрid than that.”

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Philosophy Jokes

7 things you didn’t know about me:
1. I rarely finish anything I start.

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Philosophy Jokes

I was just mulling this over:
At what age should I stop shopping at Costco because I won’t use the entire pack before I die?

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Philosophy Jokes

Ever think that when you step on the brakes, your life is in your foot’s hands?

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Philosophy Jokes

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

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Chocolate Jokes Philosophy Jokes

A Word to the Wise: Beware of accepting a challenge from a Unicorn to play a game of Leapfrog.

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Philosophy Jokes

If you really think about it, language is often a тооl for concealing the truth.

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Philosophy Jokes

Those that live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
The 50-50-90 rule: Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be sтuрid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
The shin воnе is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

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Philosophy Jokes

Government Philosophy: If it ain't broke, fix it 'till it is.

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Political Jokes Philosophy Jokes

Just sitting here, musing about sтuрid stuff and conjecturing…
Before they invented baseballs, how did they measure hail?

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Philosophy Jokes

As I was driving home this afternoon, I start to wonder how they get the deer to cross at those yellow road signs?

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Philosophy Jokes

Depending on how you look at it, half of 8 could be 4, 3, or 0.

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Philosophy Jokes

The vаginа is the best engine in the world.
1) It can be started with one finger;
2) It’s self-lubricating;
3) It accepts any size piston;
4) It even changes its own oil every four weeks.
It’s a shame that the management system is so fсuкing temperamental.

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Philosophy Jokes

Some people want to wake up rich. Some people want to wake up famous. I just want to wake up and not worry about a dамn thing.

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Philosophy Jokes