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Phone jokes

Newest jokes in this category
Why is the Apple still reporting record profits from iPhone sales?
Because iPhone users are just as oblivious to the looming recession as they are to the people around them.
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IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes Phone jokes
There is a senior citizen driving on the highway.
His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ''Herman, be careful!
I just heard on the radio that there is a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!''
Herman says, ''I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!''
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Marriage and Family Jokes Car and driving jokes Old People Jokes Stupid Jokes Phone jokes
When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Phone jokes
We went to the movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a little roomier.
Just as the feature was about to start a blonde woman from the center of the row got up and started working her way out.
"Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops, excuse me."
By the time she got to me I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient so I said,
"Couldn't you have done this a little earlier?"
"No!!" she said in a loud whisper, "The 'TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE PLEASE' message just flashed up on the screen and mine is out in the car."
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Blonde Jokes Office and Work Jokes Car and driving jokes Phone jokes
Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Phone jokes
Девойка разговаря със смартфона си: Девушка разговаривает со своим смартфоном: "Siri, why am I still single?" Frage an Siri:"Wieso bin ich noch immer Single?" Siri öffnet die Frontkamera. Fragt eine Frau: "Siri, warum bin ich Single?" Siri öffnet Frontkamera.     Un homme à son cellulaire Apple : - Siri, pourquoi je suis célibataire? Et siri ouvre la caméra.
Me: Siri, why am I alone?
Siri: *opens front facing camera*
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Computer Jokes Beauty Jokes Phone jokes
Yo mamma so fат when she looked at the scale she yelled, "Thats not my weight, thats my phone number!"
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Fat Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Phone jokes
Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".
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Blonde Jokes Stupid Jokes Phone jokes
Yo mamma so sтuрid she put her iPhone in the blender and thought it would turn into apple juice.
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Yo Momma Jokes Stupid Jokes Phone jokes
What do the latest Iphone 6 applications do?
Whiten teeth and perform laser eye surgery!
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Apple and iPhone Jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Phone jokes
If you are next to Chuck Norris then you will always have perfect cell phone reception.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Phone jokes
911 calls Chuck Norris for emergency.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Phone jokes
Chuck Norris doesn't need a case for his phone.
The ground is afraid to break it.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Phone jokes
Why did Steve Jobs live his last moments in regret?
They say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die.
Unfortunately for Steve Jobs, his iPhone 4S didn't have a Flash player installed!
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Apple and iPhone Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Computer Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Phone jokes
At recent trade talks the American representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians.
American :
"In the United States, anyone can pick up any phone and dial 9-1-1.
This will record the call and connect them with the police."
Russian :
"In Russia we don't require that you dial anything."
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Technology Jokes Police Officer Jokes Russian Jokes Phone jokes American Jokes
What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application?
Your iphone will keep crashing!
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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Dirty jokes Computer Jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes Phone jokes
Someone calls at the hotline:
Good evening.
I’ve just installed Windows 98...
So?
Wheel I have a problem...
Ok, ok, you just said that...
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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes Phone jokes
Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Phone jokes
Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Phone jokes
Suena el teléfono a las 6 de la mañana en la recepción del hotel, y dice un borracho a la recepcionista: 11 часа през нощта. Един мъж се обажда в "Справки" и пита: Północ. W domu kierownika sklepu monopolowego dzwoni telefon: - Halo. Czy to kierownik sklepu monopolowego? - Słucham? - O której pan jutro otwiera sklep? - Pan jest bezczelny! - kierownik rzuca słuchawkę na widełki. Godzina druga w nocy. W domu kierownika sklepu monopolowego dzwoni telefon. -... At 3 AM a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. "It opens at noon" answers the clerk. About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker. "What time does the bar open?" he asks. "Same time as before... Noon." replies the clerk.... A las dos de la madrugada suena un teléfono y se oye la voz de un borracho: -¿ Es usted el (hip) dueeeño de la tienda (hip) de licoresssss del barrio? - Pues sí, lo soy ¿y qué? - Naaada, (hip)... Hajnal négykor felhívja egy részeges hang a szálloda recepcióját: - Megmondaná, hogy mikor nyit a bár? - Délelőtt 11-kor - mondja udvariasan a recepciós. Eltelik fél óra, ugyanaz a hang, kicsit...
The manager of the liquor store gets a phone call at 8 pm.
"At what time do you open tomorrow?" asked the caller.
"At nine," he answered. The phone rings at midnight
"What time do you open ... in the morning?"
"At nine".
The phone rings at 4 in the morning "Whatt tim do ya openn in the mornin?"
"I told you before at nine".
"Imm just inn aa hury cause i got locked in tha stor las nite."
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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Phone jokes Boss Jokes
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