Relationship Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Why do married men gain weight and bachelors don’t? The bachelors go to the refrigerator, see nothing they want, then go to bed. Married guys go to bed, see nothing they want, then go to the refrigerator.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Relationship Jokes

A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, “How long have you been wearing that вrа?” The friend replies, “Ever since my wife found it in my car's glove compartment.”

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Men jokes Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes Relationship Jokes

Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone.

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Relationship Jokes

Man- What would you do if I won the lottery?
Woman- Take half and leave!
Man- Well, I won 20 bucks, here's 10, now get out!

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Relationship Jokes

What do marriage and a tornado have in common? In the beginning there's a lot of blowing and suскing, and in the end someone loses a house.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Relationship Jokes

Boyfriend:
"Ily."
Girlfriend:
"Can you please say the words? It makes it better."
Boyfriend:
"I'm leaving you."

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Relationship Jokes

Peter sat at his dying wife's bedside. Her voice was little more than a whisper. "Pete darling," she breathed, "I've a confession to make before I go... I... I'm the one who took the $10,000 from your safe. I spent it on a fling with your best friend, Alex. And it was I who forced your mistress to leave the city. And I am the one who reported your income tax evasion to the government."
"Don't give it a second thought, sweetheart. Who do you think gave you the poison?" answered Peter.

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Friendship Jokes Relationship Jokes

There is a husband and a wife. The husband dies, and during the funeral, the wife starts to laugh. Everybody starts to ask her why, and she says,
"This is the first time that I know where my husband is going."

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Relationship Jokes

A man and woman are sitting on their porch drinking a вееr. The man says,
"I love you." The woman says,
"Is that you talking or the вееr talking?" The man says,
"That's me talking to the вееr!"

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Relationship Jokes

A man was driving his wife home after a night out, when they were stopped by the police. “Sir, did you know you were speeding?” asked the officer. “No, I had no idea that I was speeding,” replied the husband. “Of course you were,” interrupted the wife, “you’re always speeding.” The officer looked at the rear of the vehicle and said, “And did you know your brake light is broken sir?”
“No, I had no idea that it was broken,” replied the husband. Again the wife interrupted, “Of course you knew it was broken. You’re always saying you’ll get it repaired, but you never have.” The officer began to sympathize for the husband and said, “Does she always talk to you like this?” The wife said, “Only when he’s drunк.”

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Office and Work Jokes Men jokes Police Officer Jokes Relationship Jokes

During a bank robbery, the thief's mask slipped off. He fixed it and asked a hostage, "Did you see my face?" The hostage had, so the thief killed him. He asked the next hostage, same result. After he asked a third hostage, the guy responded, "No, but my wife did."

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Relationship Jokes

A lady noticed her friend was wearing her wedding ring on the wrong finger so she asked,
"Why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" Her friend replied, "Because I married the wrong man!"

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Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Friendship Jokes Relationship Jokes

A man admitted he lied on his income tax return: he listed himself as the head of the household!

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Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Relationship Jokes

Girlfriend: Darling, will you give me a ring on our wedding day?
Boyfriend: Sure, what is your number?

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Relationship Jokes

The five most important qualities in a woman: one who is independent and helps around the house, one who can make you laugh, one who you can trust, one who is good in bed, and most importantly, one who should make sure these four women never meet.

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Jokes about Women Relationship Jokes

A little old lady comes into the kitchen to talk to her husband and says,
"Honey just look at me. My legs are heavy, thighs are getting big, and воовs are sagging. I could really use a complement right about now." The husband replied, "You have really good eye sight!"

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Relationship Jokes

A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fат and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.

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Insult Jokes Relationship Jokes

Did you hear about the new "divorced" Barbie doll in stores now?
It comes with all of Ken’s stuff.

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Relationship Jokes

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Relationship Jokes

A man is standing at a grave, staring at the head stone. A second man walks up and asks, "Is this someone you knew?" The first guy says,
"Yes, it was my wife." The second guy says,
"It must be hard to lose a wife." The first guys replies,
"Yep, dамn near impossible."

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Men jokes Relationship Jokes