Sarcasm Jokes - Page 10

My wife’s leaving me because I’m so arrogant.
I told her to close the door on her way back in.

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Sarcasm Jokes

I think without doubt the best job in Iraq, would have to be Foreign Ambassador...

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Sarcasm Jokes

I won a tidy sum on the lottery and gave my homeless brother a new home.
It was the box from my new 65″ TV.

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Sarcasm Jokes

My mates all say I’m a bit of a pub scarecrow.
I stand in the corner and frighten all the birds.

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Sarcasm Jokes

Before my son could start going on job interviews, he needed to dress the part. That, he decided, required a $500 suit.
“What!?” I answered, gagging at the price tag. “I’ve bought cars for $500!”
“That’s why I want the $500 suit,” he said. “So I don’t have to drive $500 cars.”

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Sarcasm Jokes

“Why has everything got to be a game with you?” My wife sighed.
“An excellent question love” I said, “but next time, please use the buzzer.”

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Sarcasm Jokes

When I die, I’d like the word ‘Humble’ to be written
On my statue.

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Sarcasm Jokes

I was reading that scientists have discovered that the Tyrannosaurus Rex had a ‘cousin’ that was vegetarian.
It must have been a вlооdy nightmare to have a vegetarian in the family when your arms are too short to cover your ears.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Sarcasm Jokes Vegan and Vegetarian Jokes

Yesterday, I fell down from a 10 meter ladder. Thank God I was on the third step.

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God Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

So, it’s nearly that day again when people come up to me with their scary faces and frightening clothes with their hands held out begging for money.
I fuскing hate my job at the benefits office in Liverpool.

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Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Sarcasm Jokes

Back when I was a kid, there was no internet,
So people would sometimes have to walk for miles just to call me a сunт.

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Kids Jokes Internet Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

A small ATM room which is equipped with 2 ACs and 4 tube lights, working 24 hours a day, is asking me not to print receipt to save environment.

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Office and Work Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.
A crowded United Airlines flight was cancelled. A single agent was re booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said “I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS.”
The agent replied, “I am sorry, sir. I’ll be happy to try to help you, but I’ve got to help these folks first, and I’m sure we’ll be able to work something out.”
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?”
Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone, “May I have your attention please, ” she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. “We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14.”
With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore “F*** You!” Without flinching, she smiled and said, “I’m sorry sir, but you’ll have to get in line for that too.”

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Office and Work Jokes Men jokes Single People Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

When I was at school, fifty two percent of the class were good at maths. I was one of the other thirty eight percent.

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School Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

A Fireman comes home from work and tells his wife “wow we really have things going good at the firehall.
When the captain yells 1 we slide down the pole. When he yells 2 we put on our suits.
When he yells 3 were on the truck and on our way. So from now on when I come home and yell 1 you take off your clothes. When I yell 2 jump on the bed. And when I say 3 we will be goin at it.
The husband comes home the next day and yells 1 and the wife takes off her clothes. He Yells 2 and she jumps on the bed. He then yells 3 and there going at it.
She then yells “4.”
He says” What the hеll is 4?”
The wife said ” Your hose isn’t nearly big enough and your getting no where close to the fire!”

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Office and Work Jokes Sarcasm Jokes Military Jokes

A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says:
“Your behind is getting really big, I mean really big. I bet it is вiggеr than the barbecue grill.”
With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and then went over to where his wife’s bottom was.
“Yes, I was right; it is two inches wider than the barbecue grill!”
The woman chose to ignore her husband. Later that night in the bed, the husband is feeling a little frisky. He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
She answers:
“Do you really think I’m going to fire up this big-аss grill for one little wееniе?”

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Men jokes Sarcasm Jokes

To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money.
On the plus side, he makes great subway sandwiches.

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School Jokes Money jokes Sarcasm Jokes

My sister was reading out my parents will when she said, “Do you want to hear something funny?”
“Go on,” I replied.
“Mum and Dad’s house.”
“I don’t get it,” I said confused.
“I know,” She laughed. “I do…. Funny isn’t it.”

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Dad Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

It’s never a good thing when you’re having sеx, and someone asks you, “What are you doing?”

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Sex Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

The police have just released my mother-in-law after questioning her about the мurdеr of her husband.
They only spoke to her for 2 minutes before coming to the conclusion he committed suicide.

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Police Officer Jokes Sarcasm Jokes