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Учените се шегуват, Вицове за науката Science jokes Wissenschaftlerwitze Chistes de ciencia Анекдоты про учёных и науку Français Barzellette Scientifiche Ελληνικά Македонски Türkçe Анекдоти про науку Piadas Científicas Dowcipy o naukowcach Vetenskapsvitsar Wetenschapsgrappen Dansk Norsk Suomi Magyar Româna Čeština Lietuvių Anekdotes par zinātni un pētniekiem Hrvatski
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Science jokes

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What does a subatomic duck say?
Quark!
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Science jokes Duck jokes
Two atoms are walking along. One of them says:
“Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m positive.”
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Das verlorene Elektron A proton and a neutron are walking down the street. Iba un átomo caminado por la calle con cara de preocupación. Un átomo conocido lo ve y le pregunta: Qué tal amigo, ¿Por qué tan estresado? Es que perdí un electrón, respondió. ¿Estás seguro? Sí, estoy completamente positivo. Due atomi si incontrano per strada. Il primo: "Come va? Tutto bene?". L'altro, mesto: "Uh.. no.. ho subito una perdita... un mio elettrone...". "Ma ne sei certo?". "Eh, si'... sono risultato positivo..." Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I think I've lost an electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first says, "Yes, I'm positive..." Molecule 1: I just lost an electron. Molecule 2: Are you sure? Molecule 1: I’m positive. Dos moléculas están caminando en la calle y chocan. Una le dice a la otra: “¿Estas bien” “¡No, perdí un electrón!” “¿Estas seguro?” “Positivo” Two molecules are walking down the street and one starts looking around. The other asks, "What's wrong?" "I have lost my electron!" "Are you sure?" "I'm positive!" Two hydrogen atoms are at a party and bump into each other. The first one says, "Hey, grab that electron, it's mine!" "How do you know?" asks the second. "'Cause I'm positive!" the first replies. Two atoms were walking down the street. One atom says to the other one, "I've lost an electron!" The 2nd atom replies, "Are you sure?" "I'm positive."
Science jokes
An optimist sees a glass half full.
A pessimist sees it half empty. An engineer sees it twice as large as it needs to be.
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Оптимистите твърдят, че чашата е наполовина пълна. To the optimist, Pour une personne optimiste, le verre est à moitié plein. Pour une personne pessimiste, il est à moitié vide. Pour l'informaticien, il est deux fois plus grand que nécessaire. - Para el optimista, el vaso está medio lleno. - Para el pesimista, el vaso está medio vacío. - Para el ingeniero, el vaso es el doble de grande de lo que debería ser. Der Optimist: "Das Glas ist halb voll" Der Pessimist: "Das Glas ist halb leer" Der Ingenieur: "Das Glas ist doppelt so groß wie es sein müsste" El Optimista ve la botella medio llena El pesimista medio vacía Y el ingeniero ve que la botella tiene el doble de tamaño del necesario para esta solución particular.
Science jokes
Come, meditate with m Come, meditate with me
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Science jokes
If you brake the laws of humans, you will go to jail,
If you brake the laws of god, you will go to hеll,
If you brake the laws of physics, you will go to Sweden to collect your Nobel Price
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Science jokes
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sеx drive by 95%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Modern Science Научни новини. Учените откриха хранителен продукт, намаляващ с 90% желанието на жените за секс - сватбената торта. Новости науки. Ученые обнаружили пищевой продукт, на 90% снижающий потребность женщин в сексе! Это свадебный торт. Een aantal wetenschappers zijn erachter gekomen welk voedsel ervoor zorgt dat de sex lust bij vrouwen met 85% afneemt... Een huwelijks taart! Tiedemiehet ovat keksineet ruoan, joka vähentää naisten seksuaalista halukkuutta 90 prosentilla. - Sitä kutsutaan hääkakuksi Naukowcy odkryli potrawę, która zmniejsza popęd seksualny kobiet o 90%. Nazywa się "tort weselny". Qual è il cibo che fa diminuire la frequenza dei rapporti sessuali della coppia? La torta nuziale! Quel type de nourriture réduit l'activité sexuelle des femmes de 90% ? Le gâteau de mariage. - Melyik étel csökkenti a nők szexuális vágyát 95%-kal? - ??? - Az esküvői torta. Forskere har opdaget mad, der sænker en kvindes sexlyst med 90% Det kaldes bryllupskage.
Wedding jokes Jokes about Women Food Jokes Sex Jokes Science jokes Sexist Jokes
Don't trust atoms. They make up everything.
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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Science jokes Chemistry Jokes
Q: How do astronomers organize a party?
A: They planet.
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Science jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Space jokes
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
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Science jokes Jokes about Women Sex Jokes
The dinosaurs became extinct because they didn't have а space program..
Larry Niven
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Science jokes
Zombie
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Science jokes
Proof of Global warming
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Science jokes
Summary of organic chemistr Carbon is a whore
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Science jokes
If you are driving a stolen tesla, would it be called edison?
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Science jokes Elon Musk and Tesla Jokes
Fuck your theory of evolution, Darwin. I 'm not related to all these idiots.
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Science jokes
My brother wanted to play cowboys and indians
So I put on a ten gallon hat and and chaps and he went to MIT and graduated in computer science.
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Science jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes
Me: I'm so sorry, my dog ate my homework
Computer Science Professor: Your dog ate your coding assignment?
**Awkward silence**
Me: It took him a couple bytes
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Science jokes Dog jokes
Why are there a ton of Religious Holidays but no Science Holidays?
Because science works.
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Science jokes
This is Pluto! Pluto used to be the ninth planet of the solar system until 2006 when scientists removed it from the list and declared it а dwarf planet.  But Pluto continued orbiting the Sun as...
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Science jokes Space jokes
- So, what is your zodiac sign?
- Dinosaur.
- But that one don't even exist.
- None of them exist
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Science jokes
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