Thanksgiving Jokes

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Thanksgiving Jokes
“One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister’s house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store. When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen,and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven.
When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird.
With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, “Patricia, you’ve cooked a pregnant bird!” At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.
It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!
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Little Lexi was going to get a drink of water during the night, and she overheard her father say "You little b*tch. You like that, huh?" And her mother replied with, "Oh yeah, I love your diск. Go deeper!!" The next day she asked her mother what diск meant. The mom told her a diск was a coat. She then asked her dad what b*tch meant. Her father said that a b*tch was a person. Later on, Lexi found her parents arguing. "YOU МОТНЕRFUСКЕR!!" Her mom shouted. "You're just a SLUТ!" Her dad replied. Again, little Lexi was curious, and asked her mother what a motherf*cker was. Her mother said it was a turkey. Later, she asked her dad what a sluт meant. He said it meant toilet. After that, her dad was on the toilet yelling "Honey, I'm having a big shiт on the toilet so let's not have sеx until later?" She asked what shiт was and he said eating. He also said having sеx meant socializing. After all that, her family came over for Thanksgiving. Little Lexi said "Happy Thanksgiving, b*tches! We're going to shiт soon, my dad is upstairs eating the sluт in the bathroom! My moms going to cut the motherf*cker shortly! Hang up your diскs and stay a while! I can't wait to have sеx with you!
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A boy's parents are fighting and the mom calls the dad a Ваsтаrd and the dad calls the mom a Вiтсh. The kid asks them what it means and they say Ladies and Gentlemen.
That night the son walks in on his parents having angry sеx.
The dad say "feel my diск" and the mom says "suск my тiттiеs"
The son asks "what does that mean" and the parents say Hats and Coats.
The next day the dad is shaving and cuts himself so he screams "shiт!" and the kid asks what it meas and the dad says its a brand of shaving cream.
The kid then goes downstairs and the mom is stuffing the turkey and accidentally cuts herself and screams"f*ck!"
When the guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner the kid answers the door and says.
"Alright you Вiтсhеs and Ваsтаrds, hang your Diскs and Тiттiеs in the closet, Dad's upstairs wiping the Shiт off his face and Mom's in the kitchen Fuскing the turkey!"
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