Viagra jokes - Page 2

A man comes to a doctor and, twitching his fingers and stuttering, finally manages to say, "Doctor, I have a sеxuаl performance problem. Can you help me?"
"Oh, that's not a problem for us men anymore!" announces a proud physician, "They just came out with this new wonder drug, Viаgrа, that does the trick! You take some pills, and your problems are history."
So the doctor gives the man a prescription and sends him on his merry way.
A couple of months later, the doctor runs into his patient on the street. "Doctor, Doctor!" exclaims the man excitedly, "I've got to thank you! This drug is a miracle! It's wonderful!"
"Well, I'm glad to hear that" says the pleased physician, "What does your wife think about it?"
"Wife?" asks the man, "I haven't been home yet."

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Sonny, Got Any Viаgrа?
An old man goes into a pharmacy, asks for two Viаgrа pills and demands that the pharmacist cut them in half. The pharmacist winks at him, "OK, but do you realize they won't be as effective?" The old man says, "Listen sonny, I'm 80 years old. I don't want them for sеx. I need them for getting me hard enough so I don't рее on my shoes."

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Did you hear about the man who took Viаgrа and a laxative at the same time?
He didn't know if he was coming or going.

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Q: Did you hear about the new Viаgrа eye-drops?
A: Apparently they make you look hard.

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Viagra jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

Did you hear about the theft at the Viаgrа factory?
The police are looking for some hardened criminals!

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Q: What's the scientific name for Viаgrа?
A: Mycoxafailin

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Q: Why did the gаy man take two aspirin with his Viаgrа?
A: So sеx wouldn't be such a pain in the аrsе.

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In a recent FDA study, the United States government doctors who were conducting studies on test drugs administered weekly doses of VIАGRА to an equal number of doctors and lawyers.
While the majority of the doctors achieved enhanced sеxuаl prowess, the lawyers simply grew taller.
The US government researchers are at a loss to explain.

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Q: What happens when you give Viаgrа to lawyers?
A: They grow taller!

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Q: Why shouldn't Men using iron supplements take Viаgrа?
A: It may cause them to spin around and point north.

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Q: How did the first man die from using Viаgrа?
A: The tablet got stuck in his throat and he died from a stiff neck.

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What's the difference between Viаgrа and Al Gore..... Viаgrа really works !

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Did you hear that nursing homes are starting to give Viаgrа to the old men living there?
It's to keep them from rolling out of bed.

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An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viаgrа.
The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?”
The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.”
The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.”
The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sеx anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t рее on my shoes.”

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An 80-year-old man tells his wife, "I'm going to the doctor to get me some of those new Viаgrа pills."
His wife gets her coat on and says, "I'm going to the doctor, too. If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm getting a tetanus shot."

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Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married.
They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore.
Jacob suggests they go in.
Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:
'Are you the owner?'
The pharmacist answers yes.
Says Jacob:
'We're about to get married.
Do you sell heart medication?'
Pharmacist:
'Of course we do.'
Jacob:
'How about medicine for circulation?'
Pharmacist:
'All kinds.'
Jacob:
'Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis? '
Pharmacist:
'Definitely.'
Jacob:
'How about Viаgrа?'
Pharmacist:
'Of course.'
Jacob:
'Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?'
Pharmacist:
'Yes, a large variety.
The works.'
Jacob:
'What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?'
Pharmacist:
'Absolutely.'
Jacob:
'You sell wheelchairs and walkers?'
Pharmacist:
'All speeds and sizes.'
Jacob says to the pharmacist:
'We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts, please.'

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Viаgrа is like Disneyland; a one hour wait for a 2-minute ride.

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When Viаgrа first came out my wife and I decided to give it a go to see what all the fuss was about.
I popped the pill and waited the 15 minutes and then it was on for young and old.
We timed the performance to the minute and it all finally subsided at 3 hours and 17 minutes.
I asked the missus what she thought and she simply stated that she couldn't understand what all the hype was about for an extra 17 minutes...

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Q: What do you get when you mix chocolate and Viаgrа?
A: Oooh - Henry!

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Mary, a hоrny and sеxy 23 year old and a handsome, single, sеxy doctor Matt have an appointment together.
Doctor: Well what's your problem madam?
Mary: Well, there's something wrong with my tongue.
Doctor: What's wrong with it?
Mary: Examine it and you'll see.
Doctor: Why don't you just-
Mary: EXAMINE IT!
Doctor: Fine. (Starts examining tongue, confused as there is nothing wrong with it.)
Mary: (Suddenly pushes tongue into Matt's mouth)
Doctor: (Pulls out tongue, furiously) Oh, so that's what's wrong with your tongue, eh? It's wanting sеx. I see. I can fix that. (Goes to lock door, and rips off all of his clothes) Now your turn.
Mary: Wow. I should have just asked.
Doctor: (Starts to plunge in and out his diск from Mary's рussy.) Do you wanna make it more enjoyable?
Mary: (Moaning and groaning sexually) Ooooooh yes.... Baby..... Yes....
Doctor: Ooooooh it feels SOOO good. (Starts to moan and groan sexually, he suddenly сuмs)
Mary: Aaaaah a baby, fuск me more!
Doctor: (Goes on top of Mary) I'm fuскing you as hard as I can!
When the session is finished, Mary wants to tell Matt something.
Mary: That was great. But do you know why you got so aroused before?
Doctors: Yes. It was very strange, I was not hоrny before.
Mary: My tongue had viаgrа powder on it. That's why I put my tongue in your mouth.

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