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One day a man was stuck in bumper to bumper traffic, and he really had to take a s**t.
So he got out of his car and went over to a bush and took a s**t in his hat. He couldn't leave his hat there because he had his name on it. He took his hat and on the way to his car he saw a police man. He covered the hat with his hand. The police officer came over and asked him what was in the hat. The guy said, "It's a hurt bird." The police officer said, "Let me see the bird." The man said, "I can't if I take my hand away it will fly away." The police officer said, "Let me see the bird." The man said, "I can't - if I take my hand away it will fly away." They kept that up for about five minutes. Then the police officer got mad and asked him one more time. "Take your hand away and I will reach in really fast and the bird won't fly away!" The guy said, "Alright." And he slowly removed his hand. The police officer reached in and grabbed a handful of s**t and asked the man, "What is this?" The man replied, "You scared the s**t out of the bird."
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A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?" The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite." The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. "Ouch!" He says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!" The shopkeeper replies, "That is... A man walking down the streets sees another man with a very big dog. One man says to the other, "Does your dog bite?" The man replies, "No my dog doesn't." The man pats the dog and has his hand bitten off, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite" said the injured man. "Thats not my dog",... Man walks into a shop and sees a very handsome dog. He asks the shop assistant, "Does your dog bite?" "No, my dog doesn't bite." The man happily tries to pet the dog, but the dog attacks him... Estaba un tipo con un perro a su lado, cuando pasa alguien y le pregunta: Beißt Ihr Hund? Per la strada una signora vede un bambino con in braccio un cane. "Il tuo cane morde se gli accarezzo la testa?" domanda la signora. Il ragazzo risponde di no e la signora allunga la mano per toccare il cane che però la morde. "Hai detto che il tuo cane non mordeva" strilla. "Sì, signora, il...
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Мъж се прибира вкъщи от черква с насинени очи. Little Johnny comes home from sunday school with a black eye. His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?" Johny came crying. Dad: "What happened?" Johny: "Today at class when we got up from our seats for prayer, Rita, who sits in front of us, had her skirt stuck between her ass, seeing that my bench mate pulled it out." Dad: "That's bad, but why you are crying?" Johny: "I knew that's bad, so I... Komm der Mann mit zwei blauen Augen nach Hause. Fragt die Frau: Ο Γιαννάκης επιστρέφει από το σχολείο με το αριστερό μάτι μαυρισμένο. Чого це в тебе синець під оком? — Розумієш, на зупинці автобуса побачив дівчину, в якої плаття залізло в сраку. Я взяв і потихеньку витягувати почав. — І воно тобі було треба? — Я теж потім так... Joãozinho chega na aula com o olho roxo e a professora pergunta: — Joãozinho, o que aconteceu com você? Você está com o olho todo roxo! — É professora, eu estava no busão vindo pra aula e do meu lado tinha uma gorda. Aí, quando ela levantou, eu vi que a saia dela tava enfiada no bumbum, então eu... Eina Petriukas su fingalais abiejose akyse ir sutinka draugą. Tas jo klausia: - Kas tau nutiko? - Ai, norėjau gerą darbą padaryti... - Kaip?! - Nu važiuoju autobusu, žiūriu moteriškei į užpakalį...
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