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Каква е разликата между жена адвокат и питбул? - Червилото What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull? - Что отличает женщину, с предменструальным синдромом от ротвейлера? - Губная помада! C'est quoi la différence entre une belle-mère et un pit-bull? Qual a diferença entre a mulher e o leão? Vad är skillnaden mellan en kvinnlig genusforskare och en rottweiler? – Läppstift. - Vad är det för skillnad mellan en kvinnlig advokat och en pitbullterrier? Läppstift. Hvad er forskellen på en kvindelig advokat og en pitbull? - Læbestift. - Mi a különbség egy női ügyvéd és egy vérengző pitbull között? - ??? - A nő szája ki van rúzsozva.
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Каква е разликата между батут и педераст? Каква е разликата между негър и батут? Jumper Unterschied zwischen Waldhorn und Trampolin Quelle est la différence entre une blonde et un trampoline ? Tu enlèves tes chaussures pour sauter sur le trampoline. Vad är skillnaden på en trampolin och en neger? – Man tar av skorna innan man hoppar på en trampolin. Wat is het verschil tussen een Turk en een trampoline? - Bij een trampoline moet je je schoenen uit doen Wat is het verschil tussen een Turk en een trampoline? Bij een trampoline moet je je schoenen uit doen Kuo skiriasi juodaodis vaikinas nuo batuto? Nusiauni batus, kad šoktum ant batuto.
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A little old lady walks into the Bank of Canada with a bag of money. She insists that she must speak with the president of the bank.
She tells the bank president that she has accumulated several hundred thousand dollars over the years and would like to open a trust in the bank.
The president is curious, so he asks her, "Where did you get all this money?"
The old lady replies, "I make bets."
The president then asks, "Bets? What kind of bets?"
The old woman says, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your ваlls are square."
"Ha!" laughs the president, "That's ridiculous - you can never win that kind of bet!"
The old lady challenges, "So, would you like to take my bet?"
"Sure," says the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my ваlls are not square!"
The little old lady says, "OK. I'll bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10 a.m. as a witness, and we'll see."
The next morning, the little old lady appears with her lawyer at the president's office. "OK," she says, "Time to drop your pants and settle this bet."
The president complies. The little old lady peers closely at his ваlls and asks if she could feel them. "Well, OK," says the bank president, "since there's so much money on the line."
Just then, the lawyer starts ваnging his head against the wall. The president asks the old lady, "What the hеll's the matter with your lawyer?"
She replies, "I bet him $50,000 that at 10 a.m. today, I'd have the president of the Bank of Canada's ваlls in my hand."
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For a couple years I've been blaming it on iron poor blood, lack of vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies. Now I found out the real reason. I'm tired because I'm overworked.
The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school, which leave 48 million to do the work.
Of this, there are 29 million employed by the federal government.
This leaves 19 million to do the work.
Four million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 15 million to do the work.
Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Government and that leaves 200,000 to do the work.
There are 188,000 in hospitals, so that leaves 12,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 11,998 people in Prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me . . . and you're sitting there reading jokes.
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Седмица преди 14-ти Февруари Valentins-Briefe Ein Mann kommt in die Post und sieht einen anderen Mann Stanz- und sprühen Parfüm auf Hunderte von Valentinstag Karten. "Warum sind Sie all die Karten senden?" "Ich bin signieren sie 'guess who',... Ημέρα του Αγίου Βαλεντίνου... Siamo all'inizio di febbraio e un tizio entrato in un ufficio postale nota un signore che in un angolo riempie una pila di cartoline У поштовому відділенні лисуватий чоловік середніх років стоїть біля прилавка і методично ставить штамп "З любов'ю" на яскраво-рожеві конверти із зображенням сердечок. Потім він дістає флакончик і... Een jongen loopt op een dag een postkantoor binnen en ziet daar in een hoek een kalende man van middelbare leeftijd die bezig is met het plakken van "Liefdes" postzegels op helderroze enveloppen... Egy nő sorban áll a postán, amikor észreveszi, hogy előtte egy középkorú, kopaszodó férfi rengeteg, szívekkel teli képeslapra kis szívecske-bélyegzőt nyomkod, majd elővesz egy parfümös üveget, és...
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A wealthy business man and his wife are looking through a marriage-help book when his husband turns to his wife.
''It says here that the most important thing in a marriage is honesty. So let's come to grips here. Honey... have you ever cheated on me? I've never cheated on you.''
He saw the twisted look on his wife's face, and trying to suppress his anger, he asked:
''How many times? And when?''
The wife responded, ''Well... you know that time when your company was broke, and you couldn't get the landlord to let his pay slide for another month?''
The husband stared. ''You mean you're the one who got him to?''
His wife knodded. The husband thought it over, then sighed.
''I guess that's okay. Any other times?''
''Well... when you had that heart attack, and the doctor refused to give a heart transplant for the amount of money we had at the time... I kind of''
''Ah, you're the one who made it possible.''
The husband looked honestly relieved.
''Well, that's understandable, you saved my life. Any others?''
She nodded.
''One more.''
The husband leaned forward.
''Well... you remember the time when you were running for president of your company, and you were short by 17 votes...?''
Office and Work Jokes