Jokes From our facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/Jokes-441655979354080)

A Catholic, a Baptist and a Mormon are bragging about the size of their families."I have four boys, and my wife is expecting another," says the Catholic. "One more son, and I'll have a basketball team."
"That's nothing," says the Baptist. "I have 10 boys now, and my wife is pregnant with another child. One more son, and I'll have a football team."
"That's nothing," says the Mormon. "I have 17 wives. One more wife, and I'll have a golf course."

28 0

Two boys are playing football in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips a board off of a nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck.
A reporter strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.
"Young Giants Fаn Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he writes in his notebook.
"But I'm not a Giants fаn," the little hero replies.
"Sorry, since we are in New York, I just assumed you were," says the reporter.
"Little Jets Fаn Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack," he writes in his notebook.
"I'm not a Jets fаn either," the boy says.
"I assumed everyone in New York was either for the Giants or Jets. What team do you root for?" the reporter asks.
"I'm a Cowboys fаn," the child says.
The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Redneck Maniac Kills Beloved Family Pet".

0 0

Sports Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes

Jоск Воотy Call... Resin:
Hey ваве, want to squeeze my resin bag? High five!

0 0

Sports Jokes Dirty jokes

One day, a guy was approached by a rich man who said, "If you marry my daughter, I will give you my house and all of my money." Sure enough the guy says yes. The rich man then warned him that his daughter had been in a terrible car accident and was a little messed up, both physically and mentally. The guy figures she couldn't be that messed up and doesn't change his mind.
So he married the girl - who was that messed up - and on the honeymoon, instead of having to look at her, he put a paper bag over her head when they were having sеx. And the guy used the bag every time they had sеx after that
One day, while the guy was doing some work around the house, he dropped his hammer and said, "Honey, can you get the hammer for me?" The wife shuffled around muttering, "Huh? Get the hammer, get the hammer, get the hammer," and finally picked it up.
After she gave it back to him, he dropped the box of nails and asked, "Honey, can you get nails for me?" She went to fetch it, mumbling, "Huh? Get the nails, get the nails, get the nails." She hands him the nails and he goes back to work.
While the guy is hammering a nail, he accidentally struck his thumb and shouted, "Aww, f**k!" The wife says, "Huh? get the bag, get the bag, get the bag...."

0 0

Sports Jokes

Q: On a sunny day, two fathers and two sons went fishing. Each one of them caught one fish. When they went home, there were only three fishes. How can that be?
A: A grandfather, a father and a son went fishing.

0 0

Sports Jokes Grandparent Jokes

There were three guys in a car. One driving, the other in the passenger seat and one resting in the back. The guy in the back became sleepy and fell asleep. A few minutes later, he is startled by a "THUMP THUMP."
"What the hеll was that?" he shouted.
The driver says, "It was just a redneck."
"I felt two thumps, though," says the passenger.
"Yeah we had to go through the fence to hit him."

0 0

Sports Jokes Blue Collar Jokes

John Rocker was on a NY subway and many people stopped to stare at him. One lady said, "I hate you, Rocker, you dissed New York."
The next person says, "Thanks, Rocker. You dissed homosexuals."
The next guys says, "You dissed people with mental problems."
Rocker is shocked and says, "I didn't say anything about people with mental problems!"
The man smiles and says, "Now people think that all people with mental problems are racist and dumb."

0 0

Sports Jokes

A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked up to have a talk with him.
"I've figured out your problem," he told the young southpaw. "You always lose control at the same point in every game."
"When is that?"
"Right after the National Anthem."

24 0

Sports Jokes Nationality Jokes

A virgin boy turns 18, and asks his dad for money to go to the whоrе house. His dad gives him 20 bucks and says, "Son, get it done. But one thing before you go, whatever you do, don't venture into Room 88."
The kid agrees. He gets to the whоrе house and says to the lady at the desk, "Hi, I would like to get a room." She responds, "Sorry young man. The only room left is Room 88."
The kid, dripping with horniness, takes it despite his father's warning. When he gets up there, there is a hole in the wall. It says, "Insert соск here for pleasure." He walks over, sticks it in, and gets his c**k suскеd for an hour and a half and explodes inside the mystery mouth hidden behind the wall. He gets home and tells his dad he had his d**k suскеd by a real pro in Room 88. His dad turns deathly pale and cries, "Uh, oh. That was you?"

0 0

Sports Jokes

A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
"I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife," he tells the doctor, "when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it, and I noticed one of the cows had something white in its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball stuck right in the соw's вuтт. That's when I made my mistake."
"What did you do?" asks the doctor.
"Well, as I was standing there holding up the tail, I yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'"

14 0

Sports Jokes

There is this third grade class with this kid named Rotten Reggie in it.
One day, the teacher decides that she will ask the class one question every Friday and the student who gets it right can stay home from school on Monday. The whole class thinks this is a great idea - especially Reggie. On the first Friday, the teacher asks the kids how many buckets of sand are in the deserts of Egypt. No one knows and the kids are very рissеd off. The next Friday, the teacher asks who was the first sailor to sail arround the world. No one knows again. Rotten Reggie is getting real рissеd off now, so he goes home and spray paints two golf ваlls black. The next Friday right when the teacher says it is time for the question, Reggie rolls the two ваlls to the front of the room. The teacher picks the ваlls up.
"All right, who is the comedian with two black ваlls?"
"Eddie Murphy! See ya on Tuesday!"

0 0

Sports Jokes School Jokes Sailor Jokes

Ma and Pa are sitting out on the front porch one day.
"You know what? Junior's 21. It's time we taught him about sеx. Junior, get out here!". Junior runs out. 'Junior, I think it's time to teach you about sеx."
"Sеx," says Junior. "What's sеx?"
"Well," Pa says. "Take off your clothes, Ma."
So Ma takes off her clothes. "You see that hole in Ma? Watch this."
Pa starts doing it right there on the porch. A little while goes by and Junior's younger brother, Bubba comes out on the porch and asks what's going on.
"Ma and Pa are teaching me about sеx."
"Sеx? What's sеx?"
"See that hole in Pa? Watch this!"

0 0

Sports Jokes Blue Collar Jokes Sex Jokes

Three Americans were up against a very large Russian in a wrestling meet. They were nervous because he had a famous move called "The Russian Pretzel," which often landed his opponents in the hospital. When the first American caught a glimpse of him, he said, "Coach, he's HUGE. I'm scared."
The coach replied, "You da MAN! Just go in there and tear him up!" The guy started the match quite confidently, but after about a minute, the Russian picked him up, slammed him into the famous pretzel, and sent him to the emergency room. The same thing happened to the second wrestler, so the third guy was petrified. He told his coach he was backing out. The coach said, "C'mon, son. You're our last chance!"The kid started out pretty well, but when the Russian started to twist him into the pretzel, the coach covered his eyes. When he opened them, he saw the referee holding the American's hand up in victory. The coach, baffled, asked the kid how he did it. "Well Coach, when that dамn Russian picked me up and started twisting my body, it HURT! So when I saw two red things dangling there, I bit them... HARD! You'd be surprised what you can do when you bite your own ваlls!"

0 0

Sports Jokes American Jokes

Confucious say, ''Baseball wrong. Man with four ваlls cannot walk."

0 0

Sports Jokes

A travelling salesman is out in the country selling his wares. He is in the middle of nowhere when his car breaks down, he leaves the car and starts walking and reaches a small farm house. He knocks and a middle aged man opens the door.
The salesman asks him for a place to sleep in the night. The farmer tells that he has only one room with a bed and on that he and his wife (who turns out be gorgeous) sleep. So the salesman sleeps on the bed with the farmer and his lovely wife.
In the middle of the night the farmer's wife gets hоrny and asks the salesman to come over to her side and f**k her! The salesman points towards the snoring farmer and whispers, ''He'll wake up!''
The farmer's wife replies, ''He's a sound sleeper. If you don't trust me pull a hair out of his аss and you will see that he won't wake up!''
The salesman tries and the farmer does not wake up. The salesman and the farmer's wife get into a f**king session. They repeat the act several more times that night and the salesman plucks a hair out of the farmer's аss everytime he goes to f**k the wife.
Finally the farmer wakes up and says, ''Hey, I don't mind you f**king my wife, but can you stop using my аss a scoreboard!?!''

0 0

Sports Jokes

One night a Scottish couple took a walk through a beautiful lit up town.
The woman says to the man, ''You want to hold my hand, don't you?'' The man says,''Yes, how did you know?'' She says, ''By the gleam in your eye.'' So they held hands. A little down the road the woman says to the man, ''You want to kiss me don't you?'' The man says,''Yes, how did you know?'' She says, ''By the gleam in your eye.'' So they kissed and kept walking. A little later the woman askes the man, ''You want to sсrеw me don't you?'' The man says, ''How did you know? By the gleam in my eye?'' The woman says, ''No, by the tilt in your kilt.''

0 0

Sports Jokes

An older single woman was shopping at the grocery store feeling lonely and hоrny. In the check out stand she noticed a young bagger and thought she might approach him. When he asked if he could take her groceries to her car she excitedly said, "Yes."
As they headed to the door she touched his arm and said, "I have an itchy p***y." The young man smiled and kept walking. Feeling he maybe he didn't understand when they reached the door she said again, "I have an itchy p***y!"
The young man smiled and started to look around the parking lot, so she tried one more time, "I have an itchy p***y!"
The young man turned and replied, "Lady you're going to have to point it out because all those import cars look alike to me!"

0 0

Dirty jokes

A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm. "These hills are getting steeper as the years go by," one complained.
"These fairways seem to be getting longer too," said one of the others.
"The sand traps seem to be вiggеr than I remember them too," said the third senior.
After hearing enough from his senior buddies, the oldest and wisest of the four of them, at 87 years old, piped up and said, "Just be thankful we're still on the right side of the grass!"

0 0

Sports Jokes

Bob: "I just got a new set of golf clubs for my wife."
Jim: "Great trade!"

0 0

Sports Jokes

At school one day, the teacher was trying to approach the topic of sеx education and asked her students if they'd ever seen anything that was related to sеx education on TV.
Mary raised her hand and said she had seen a movie about women having babies. Great, said the teacher, that's very important.
Then Judy raised her hand and told the teacher she had seen a TV show about people getting married. Well, that has to do with it too, said the teacher. Then Johnny raised his hand and said he had seen a western where some Indians came riding over the hill and John Wayne shot them all. The teacher said, Well, Johnny, that really doesn't have anything to do with sеx education. Yes it does, said Johnny, it taught those Indians not to f**k with John Wayne.

32 0

Jokes about Women Sports Jokes School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes Baby Jokes

Facebook Fan Favorites