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Catholic Jokes

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How many Wall Street protesters does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't change a thing.
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Light bulb jokes Men jokes Catholic Jokes Life Jokes
Q: How do you make holy water?
A: You boil the hеll out of it.
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Седят си четири бабки и си пият следобедния чай. Ω Θεέ μου! Quatro mães católicas estão tomando chá.
Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together.
The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father.'"
The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace.'"
The third Catholic woman says smugly, "My son is a Cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Eminence.'"
The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence.
The first three women give her this subtle "Well…?"
She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6’2, hard bodied stripper. When he walks into a room, people say, 'Oh my God…'"
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Religion jokes Jokes about Women God Jokes Food Jokes Dirty jokes Priest Jokes Friendship Jokes Catholic Jokes Priest Jokes Coffee Jokes
hat is the difference between acne and a catholic priest? Vad är det för skillnad mellan en katolsk präst och acne? Acne kommer inte i ansiktet på dig före att du är över 12 år gammal What is the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12. Was ist der Unterschied zwischen einem katholischen Priester und Akne? Akne kommt erst auf dein Gesicht, wenn du 13 bist. What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face. Mitä eroa on aknella ja katolisella papilla? Akne ei yleensä tule kuusivuotiaan naamalle. Quelle est la différence entre un prêtre et de l'acnée ? L'acnée attend que tu ais au moins 12 ans avant de venir sur ton visage.
Q: What's the difference between acne and a Roman Catholic Priest from the Vatican?
A: Acne would wait until you're at least 13 before it would сuм on your face!
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Priest Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Old People Jokes Catholic Jokes Priest Jokes
Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died.
The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible.
All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Men jokes Bible Jokes Catholic Jokes
What happened when the cannibal got a religion?
He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
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Dark Humor Jokes Religion jokes Catholic Jokes
A Catholic Priest, a Rabbi, and an Atheist walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "Oh Gоddаммiт, no! We don't like jokes in here and if you guys are a part of one, you're gonna have to leave right now!" So the catholic priest, rabbi, and atheist leave the bar and a chicken walks in.
The bartender says, "OH COME ON! We don't serve CHICKENS in here!"
The chicken says, "Do you know somewhere that does?"
The bartender says, "Yeah.."
The chicken asks, "Well, where is it?"
The bartender says, "It's across the road."
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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Priest Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Atheist Jokes Catholic Jokes Priest Jokes
A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill.
"Mommy" she said "Can we leave now?"
"No" her mother replied.
"Well, I think I have to throw up!"
"Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush."
In about two minutes the little girl returned to her seat.
"Did you throw up?" her mother asked.
"Yes" the little girl replied.
"Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and return so quickly?"
"I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy" the little girl replied, "They have a box next to the front door that says 'for the sick'."
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Kids Jokes Gross Jokes Church jokes Catholic Jokes American Presidents Humor
Some people wear Superman Underwear, Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.
On the other hand, Chuck Norris wears no underwear.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Catholic Jokes Superhero Jokes
A man in a balaclava with a gun asked, "Are you a Protestant or a Catholic?"
"Neither, I'm a Jew."
"But are you a Protestant Jew or a Catholic Jew?"
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Men jokes Religion jokes Jewish Jokes Catholic Jokes
hat is the difference between acne and a catholic priest? Q: What's the difference between acne and a Roman Catholic Priest from the Vatican? A: Acne would wait until you're at least 13 before it would cum on your face! Vad är det för skillnad mellan en katolsk präst och acne? Acne kommer inte i ansiktet på dig före att du är över 12 år gammal Was ist der Unterschied zwischen einem katholischen Priester und Akne? Akne kommt erst auf dein Gesicht, wenn du 13 bist. What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face. Mitä eroa on aknella ja katolisella papilla? Akne ei yleensä tule kuusivuotiaan naamalle. Quelle est la différence entre un prêtre et de l'acnée ? L'acnée attend que tu ais au moins 12 ans avant de venir sur ton visage.
What is the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12.
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Boycott Jokes Religion jokes Dirty jokes Priest Jokes Catholic Jokes What's The Difference Jokes Priest Jokes
What’s the difference between a Catholic Priest and a Greyhound?
A Greyhound waits for the hare to come out.
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What's The Difference Jokes Catholic Jokes Priest Jokes
hat is the difference between acne and a catholic priest? Q: What's the difference between acne and a Roman Catholic Priest from the Vatican? A: Acne would wait until you're at least 13 before it would cum on your face! Vad är det för skillnad mellan en katolsk präst och acne? Acne kommer inte i ansiktet på dig före att du är över 12 år gammal What is the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12. Was ist der Unterschied zwischen einem katholischen Priester und Akne? Akne kommt erst auf dein Gesicht, wenn du 13 bist. Mitä eroa on aknella ja katolisella papilla? Akne ei yleensä tule kuusivuotiaan naamalle. Quelle est la différence entre un prêtre et de l'acnée ? L'acnée attend que tu ais au moins 12 ans avant de venir sur ton visage.
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
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Priest Jokes What's The Difference Jokes Catholic Jokes Priest Jokes
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hеll right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF ВАSТАRD WITH YOU TOO!”
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Priest Jokes Catholic Jokes Heaven And Hell Jokes Priest Jokes
What do catholic priests and JCPennys have in common?
Little boys pants half off.
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Priest Jokes Catholic Jokes Priest Jokes
I was raised a Catholic and my priest told me when I was 12, “God is watching you when you маsтurвате”.
I said, “Is God a реdорhilе too, Father?”
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Catholic Jokes Masturbation jokes Priest Jokes
What do you call a catholic priest who molests children?
A catholic priest
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Catholic Jokes Priest Jokes
I always hated being born a catholic as a kid, the way you have to keep kneeling down, bending over and standing up all within a few minutes of each other while at church, I was always thinking “for God’s sake just pick a position and fuск me”
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Church jokes Catholic Jokes
What’s the similarity between Catholic Priests and Mcdonalds ? They both like sticking there meat in 6 year old buns.
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Catholic Jokes Priest Jokes
Why did the catholic priest suск diск at a glory hole?
because someone asked him what would he do for a klondike bar
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Catholic Jokes Priest Jokes
How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.
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Religion jokes Catholic Jokes
What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?
They both like to dump their loads into little kids.
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Catholic Jokes School Jokes Priest Jokes
How do you кill a little boy
You throw him between two Catholic priest
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Catholic Jokes Priest Jokes
You’d think the Catholic Church would be thankful for condoms, less DNA evidence.
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Church jokes Catholic Jokes
what do fат demons hate, exorcise
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Catholic Jokes
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