Jokes From our facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/Jokes-441655979354080)

Zombie Воотy Call... Sockets:
Did anybody ever tell you that you have the most beautiful worm-infested eye sockets?

1 0

Pick-Up Lines Jokes

Zombie Воотy Call... Rot:
Why don't we just go back to my place and rot?

0 0

Pick-Up Lines Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

A guy walked into a bar...
OUCH!

1 0

Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes

A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him and says, "Hey, wanna hear a blond joke?"
The man said to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm blond. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler, and he's blond. The bouncer is blond. The man sitting over to your left is also blond. Still wanna tell that blond joke?"
The blind man was silent for a moment and then said, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."

31 0

Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: What do blondes and вееr bottles have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

62 0

Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Blonde Jokes Beer Jokes

Two men are sitting next to each other in an Irish-style pub in New York City and both order pints of Guinness. One of them turns to the other and asks, "So where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland."
"Me too! I'll drink to that." They both finish their pints and order two more. "Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin."
"Me too! I'll drink to that." They both finish their pints and order two more. "Where in Dublin are you from?"
"The East Side."
"The East Side? Me too! What a coincidence! I'll drink to that!" They both finish their pints and order two more."Where on the East Side are you from?"
"McDonagh Street."
"Me too! This is incredible! I'll drink to that." As the bartender pours them another two pints, another customer at the bar says to him, "That's amazing! I can't believe they're from the same street in Dublin. What's going on?"
"Oh, it's nothing amazing," says the bartender."It's just the Ferguson twins getting sloshed again."

0 0

Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes

A man and his wife are at a restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table. His wife asks, "Do you know her?"
"Yes," sighs the husband. "She's my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" says the wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

0 0

Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Restaurant Jokes

A guy walks into a bar and orders a whiskey.
Just before he takes a sip of his whiskey, a guy runs in and says, "Bill, your house burnt down!" So he runs outside, but then he thinks, "I don't have a house," so he goes back into the bar and takes a sip of his whiskey. Another guy runs in and says, "Bill! Your dad died!"He runs out of the bar, gets on his horse and rides a little ways, but then thinks, "I don't have a dad," so he goes back into the bar and drinks almost all of his whiskey. Then another guy runs in and says, "Bill! You won the lottery!" So he runs out, gets on his horse and rides all the way to the bank, but then he thinks, "My name's not Bill."

0 0

Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Banker Jokes Dad Jokes

A dyslexic walks into a вrа...

0 0

Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes One-Liner Jokes

A police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible drunк drivers.
At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Everyone left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started his engine and began to pull away.
The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered a Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be.
The driver replied, "Tonight, I'm the designated decoy."

22 0

Office and Work Jokes Car and driving jokes Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Police Officer Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes

Once upon a time there was a 98-year old woman whose billionaire husband died.
The woman had inherited all of her deceased husband's fortune and decided she would see if she could remarry herself a fine young man. So, she walked into a bar and announced to all the men that she had inherited billions of dollars and would marry the guy with the biggest d**k.
Now of course this woman wasn't all that in the looks department, as a matter of fact she looked more like a shriveled prune then a human being. But, the guys didn't care because they knew this old lady would croak soon and they would get all that money. The woman then told the men to stiff themselves up to full еrестiоn and lay their d**ks on a long table. They did what she said. All of a sudden, two gаy guys walked into the bar, looked at the table and said "A buffet!"

0 0

Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes

An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down, and one lands in each of the pints.
The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs and takes a long swallow.

1 0

Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Scottish Jokes

A mechanic noticed his co-worker drinking brake fluid at lunch.
"What are you doing, man? You can't drink that stuff!"
"Relax," replied his co-worker, "this stuff tastes pretty good, and I don't drink it all the time."
"Seriously," the mechanic exclaimed, "that brake fluid is poison!"
"Hey, man" yelled the co-worker, "back off! I can stop any time I want."

0 0

Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes

After an elderly couple starts getting forgetful, they visit their doctor.
Their doctor tells them that many people find it useful to write themselves little notes.When they get home, the wife says, "Dear, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? And maybe write that down so you won't forget?""Nonsense," says the husband. "I can remember a dish of ice cream.""Well, I'd also like some strawberries and whipped cream on it," the wife replies."My memory's not all that bad," says the husband. "No problem - a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. I don't need to write it down."He goes into the kitchen, and his wife hears pots and pans ваnging. The husband finally emerges from the kitchen and presents his wife with a plate of bacon and eggs.She looks at the plate and asks, "Hey, where's the toast I asked for?"

43 0

Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Old People Jokes

Q: Why didn't Нiтlеr drink tequila?
A: Cause it made him mean.

0 0

Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Hitler Jokes

Q: What do you call women who hang out with hookers?
A: Support hos.

0 0

Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes

Bubba dies in a fire and his body is pretty badly burned. The morgue sends for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer, to identify the body.
Daryl arrives first, and when the mortician pulls back the sheet, Daryl says, "Yup, his face is burnt up pretty bad. You better roll him over."
The mortician rolls him over, and Daryl says, "Nope, ain't Bubba."
The mortician thinks this is strange. Then he brings Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer takes a look at the face and says, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over."
The mortician rolls him over and Gomer says, "No, it ain't Bubba."
The mortician asks, "How can you tell?"
Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two a**holes."
"What? He had two a**holes?!" exclaims the mortician.
"Yup, every time we went to town, folks would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two a**holes.'"

88 0

Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Two airplane mechanics named Bob and Tim work at Atlanta airport.
Atlanta gets fogged in one night and nothing can take off or land so Bob and Tim have nothing to do. After work Bob and Tim usally have a drink on their way home, so Bob says to Tim, I heard that you can get a buzz off drinking jet fuel. Since they have nothing better to do, they try it. Finally, their shift is over and they get to go home. Next morning Bob calls Tim and says, How are you feeling? Tim says he's fine, never felt better. Bob asks, Do you have a hangover? Tim says no. Then Tim says, Wow this is great! We can drink all we want and not get a hangover. Then Bob says, Well, there is one side effect, Tim. Have you farted yet? Tim says, No, why?
Bob says, I'm calling you from Detroit!

0 0

Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Aviation Jokes

You have got to stop listening to your girlfriends about your relationships - especially that girlfriend that ain't got nobody.

0 0

Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes

The Lord Giveth...
When the Lord gave out brains, I thought he said trains and I missed mine! When he gave out looks, I thought he said books, and I didn't want any! When he gave out noses, I thought he said Four Roses, and I ordered a big one! When he gave out legs, I thought he said kegs, and I ordered two fат ones! When he gave out ears, I thought he said beers, and I ordered two long ones! When the Lord gave out chins, I thought he said gins, and I said 'Give me a double' Oh Lord! I'm a mess!

0 0

Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Fat Jokes Beer Jokes

Facebook Fan Favorites