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Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees.
"I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asks what's wrong.
"Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have sеx, I've got nothing left to believe in."

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One day little Johnny was walking up a hill pulling his red wagon behind him saying, "F**k this, F**k that."
The town priest hears this and walks up to Johnny and says, You shouldn't swear like that, Johnny. God is all around us."
"Is he in the sky?" asks Johnny.
"Yes," says the priest.
"Is he in that bush over there?" asks Johnny.
"Yes," says the priest."
Is he in my wagon?" asked Johnny.
"Yes," says the priest.
"Well tell him to get the f**k out and push!!!"

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Men vs Women Jokes Little Johnny Jokes God Jokes Dirty jokes Priest Jokes Priest Jokes American Presidents Humor

Q: How do сrавs leave the hospital?
A: On crutches.

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Gross Jokes Men vs Women Jokes

Why do men walk so fast? They've got three legs!
Why do women talk so much? They've got two mouths!

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Men vs Women Jokes

An old lady approaches a police station and observes three women in hand cuffs waiting to go in.
The old lady asks one of the women, "Why are you in line?"
The woman looks at the other prostitutes, winks and says, "We're waiting in line for a free lollipop."
So the old lady gets in line for her free lollipop. The chief of police comes out to take the girls in and notices the old lady in line. Shocked, he says to the old lady, "'You should be ashamed of yourself!"
"Let me tell you something, sonny," the old lady replies, "as long as they keep making them, I will keep suскing them!"

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Men vs Women Jokes Boss Jokes

A wife comes in and yells, "Honey, pack your clothes! I just won the lottery."
Her husband yells back, "Should I pack for the beach or for the mountains?"
His wife replies, "I don't care! Just get the hеll out."

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Marriage and Family Jokes

Q: What is the diference between like and love?
A: When a person likes you they spit and when a person loves you they swallow.

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Men vs Women Jokes

Love and Неrреs?
Q: What's the difference between love and hеrреs?
A: Неrреs lasts forever.

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Men vs Women Jokes

Q: Why do blondes like hearing blonde jokes?
A: It makes them feel popular.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

A couple celebrates their 30th anniversary by visiting fence against which they first made love.The husband says, "Come on, for old times' sake."
The wife agrees and they both undress.Afterwards, the husband says, "You're even better than you were 30 years ago."
His wife replies, "That fence wasn't electrified 30 years ago!"

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Men vs Women Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

A man tells his friend, "My wife is an angel."
His friend replies, "Lucky you. Mine's still alive."

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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Friendship Jokes

A blonde finds a lamp with a genie inside. He says, "I will grant you three wishes."
The blonde says, "For my first wish, I want my love handles to disappear."
The genie replies, "Your wish is my command."
The blonde exclaims, "Holy shiт! What did you do with my ears?"

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Blonde Jokes

Q: What do you get if you cross LSD with birth control?
A: A trip without the kids!

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Men vs Women Jokes

A blonde was at a gumball machine. She kept putting quarters in and getting gumballs out. The man behind her asked if he could get a gumball.
She said, "Shut up! I'm winning."

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes Men jokes

A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterward, the doctor comes into her room and says, "I have something to tell you about your child."
The woman worriedly asks, "What's wrong with it?"
The doctor says, "There's nothing really wrong with it, it's just a little different. It's a hermaphrodite."
The woman looks confused. "A hermaphrodite? What's that?"
The doctor replies, "It has both male and female features."
The woman looks relieved. "Oh, you mean it has a реnis AND a brain?"

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes God Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Baby Jokes

Q: Why do blondes need see through lunch boxes.
A: So they can tell if they're coming home or going to work.

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Office and Work Jokes Men vs Women Jokes Food Jokes Blonde Jokes Communication Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

One day Mom was cleaning Junior's room and in the closet she found a воndаgе S&M magazine.
This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his Father got home and showed it to him.
He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word. So she asked him, "What should we do about this?"
Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."

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Men vs Women Jokes Kids Jokes

It was a really hot day and this blonde decided she would go buy a coke. She went to the coke machine and when she put her money in, a coke came out - so she kept putting money in.
And since it was such a hot day, a line had formed behind her. Finally, a guy on line said, "Will you hurry up? We're all hot and thirsty!"
And the blonde said, "No way. I'm still winning!"

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Money jokes Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: Why can't men get mad соw disease?
A: They're all pigs.

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Men vs Women Jokes

A husband and wife go to a restaurant. The waiter approaches the table to take their order.
"I'll have your biggest, juiciest steak," says the husband.
"But sir, what about the mad соw?" asks the waiter.
"Oh," says the husband, "she'll order for herself."

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Men vs Women Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Restaurant Jokes

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