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Most Popular Jokes

All the British fans start singing to the German fans, If you won the war, stand up! Right, I think this is the greatest thing Ive ever heard at a sporting event because theres no snappy comeback for that, is there?

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One-Liner Jokes

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.
The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face.
The egg is frowning and looking a bit рissеd off.
The egg mutters, to no one in particular, "Well, I guess we answered THAT question!"

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One-Liner Jokes Sex Jokes

In the world of flies, a young fly needed a heart transplant. After being taken to surgery, the fly anesthesiologist put the young fly to sleep.
The fly doctor assistant cut open the young fly’s chest. He then announced to the fly heart doctor, "Your fly is open."
The heart doctor blushed.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes

I think Employee of the Month is a good example of when a person can be a winner and a loser at the same time.

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One-Liner Jokes

An old Jewish man walks into a church. He goes in the confession booth, he says, Forgive me father, I have sinned. I was working in my tailor shop, a girl came in -- couldnt have been more than 19 years old, blonde hair, great body. All of a sudden I started f**king her and theres f**king and suскing and fooling around for three hours. And the priest goes, Youre Jewish, why are you telling me this? And he goes, Telling you? Im telling everybody.

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Blonde Jokes Priest Jokes

Why did the blonde take his new scarf back to the store? It was too tight

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

There was a red head, a brunette, and a blonde riding in the back of a truck. Suddenly the tire popped and the truck drove off the edge into the water.
The red head and brunette swam up and survived, but the blonde drowned because she couldn't get the tail gate open.

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Dark humor is a lot like food.
Not everyone gets it.

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Food Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

I would make a Sodium joke
But Na

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Chemistry Jokes

When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could кill two birds with a stone.
Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.

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Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

Chuck Norris does not eat.
Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.

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Food Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Sandra and her husband Jim are expecting a baby in 2 months. One day Jim comes home from work and asks Sandra, "Why haven't we had sеx in so long?"
"You know I'm worried it will hurt the baby," Sandra told him.
"I'll be really gentle. I promise," Jim tells her.
Sandra protests but Jim manages to finally convince her that he won't hurt the baby so they have sеx.
Two months later Sandra gives birth to a baby boy. When the baby was born he looked at the doctor and says,
"Are you my father?"
The doctor shakes his head.
Then to Sandra, "Are you my father?"
"No, I'm your mother," she tells him.
Finally the baby sees Jim and says,
"Are you my father?"
Jim nods.
The baby starts hitting him on the head and says,
"How does this feel?"

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Medical and Doctor Jokes

While suturing up a cut on the hand of a 75 year old farmer, whose hand had been caught in the gate while working his cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Hone Hawariwa and how he got to be an MP.
The old farmer said,
"Well, ya know, Hone is just a Post Tortoise."
Now not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked,
What's a "Post Tortoise?"
The old farmer said,
"When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a Tortoise balanced on top, that's a post Tortoise."
The old farmer saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued to explain. "You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, he sure as hеll isn't goin' anywhere, and you just wonder what рriск put him there in the first place."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes

How do Asians name their babies?
They throw a can down the stairs.

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Dark Humor Jokes Asian jokes Baby Jokes Morbid jokes

Would you like to try African food??
They would too.

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Food Jokes

White people are always annoyed that only black people can say the n word, but white people have some phrases only they can say too
Things like “Hi Dad!” and “Thanks for the warning, officer.”

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Black People Jokes White people jokes Dad Jokes

When you give birth to a great idea at work, your boss should give you 2 weeks of maternity leave.

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Management Jokes Office and Work Jokes Boss Jokes

Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Sports Jokes

What do the spice girls and a pack of M+Ms have in common?
There are assorted colors, but they all taste the same.

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Jokes about Women Food Jokes Music and Musician Jokes

Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.

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Accountant Jokes Office and Work Jokes Math Jokes