Most popular jokes

Chuck Norris eats lightning and shiтs out thunder.

31 0

What's the difference between a bullet and a Jew?
A bullet actually comes out of its chamber.

31 0

Jewish Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Chuck norris once ate a rubix cube and pooped it out solved.

31 0

Food Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

31 0

Jokes

Boy: What's a palindrome?
Teacher: racecar
{10 years later}
Boy: [bursting out of bank in ski mask] where's the palindrome
Getaway driver: [sitting in kayak]

31 0

School Jokes Banker Jokes

Yo momma’s so fат, she fell off a boat and the captain yelled, ‘Land Но!’

31 0

Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes Military Jokes

Two men are drinking in a bar.
They pull out the sandwiches their wives had lovingly prepared and tuck in.
The bartender comes over and says "you can't eat your own food in here"
So they swapped sandwiches.

31 0

Food Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes

Tide has some serious ad time during the superbowl this year
Must be able to afford it after cornering the teenage snack food market

31 0

Food Jokes

Where does an Irish family go on holiday?
A different bar.

31 0

Marriage and Family Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes

John and Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said,
"I'm very sorry officer, I didn't realize it was out, I'll get it fixed right away."
Just then Jessica said,
"I knew this would happen when I told you two days ago to get that light fixed."
So the officer asked for John's license and after looking at it said,
"Sir your license has expired."
And again John apologized and mentioned that he didn't realize that it had expired and would take care of it first thing in the morning.
Jessica said,
"I told you a week ago that the state sent you a letter telling you that your license had expired."
Well by this time, John is a bit upset with his wife contradicting him in front of the officer, and he said in a rather loud voice, "Jessica, shut your mouth!"
The officer then leaned over toward Jessica and asked.
"Does your husband always talk to you like that?"
Jessica replied, "only when he's drunк."

31 0

Office and Work Jokes Police Officer Jokes

I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.

31 0

Office and Work Jokes

Q: How do you make four old ladies say "FUСК!"?
A: Get a fifth one to yell "BINGO!"

30 0

Old People Jokes Sex Jokes

There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sеx on a bench.
The little girl says "Mommy what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies "Ummm... they are making cakes. now come on, we'll go to the Zoo"
At the Zoo, the little girl sees two monkeys having sеx. Again she asks her mother "What are they doing?" And her mother replies with the same response, "They are making cakes. Thats it we're going home"
The next day the girl says to her mother "Mommy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the living room last night, weren't you?" Shocked, the Mother says, "What? How do you know?"
She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."

30 0

Gross Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home
Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!

30 0

Kids Jokes School Jokes

What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a воnеr?
He smashed his his nose.
Whats the Diffenence between кinкy and perverted?
Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends аss with a feather.
Perverted is when you use the whole chicken...
A girl went into a doctors office with a Strawberry up her аss, The doctor said I've got some "Cream" For that.
Why was the washing machine laughing?
Because it was taking the рiss out the underpants.
What do you do with a years worth of used condoms?
Melt them, turn them into tire and call it a goodyear.
What's the difference between a реnis and a bonus?
Your wife will always вlоw your bonus!
A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing but a jamjar on his соск.
A lady asks "What are you dressed as?"
He says a fireman!
You break the glass, pull the кnов and I'll сuм as fast as I can.
One night a policewoman pulls over a drunк driver.
She politely asks him to step out of his car.
He willingly does so.
She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you."
He replies "ВRЕАSТS."

30 0

Police Officer Jokes Office and Work Jokes Car and driving jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes

Little Johnny got caught stealing in a FOOD 4 LESS and runs away from the cops.
He runs towards his school and into his classroom.
He asks his teacher "May I please hide in your classroom because I got caught stealing".
The teacher says "Yes".
Little Johnny first hides under a desk, but no, the cops can see him there.
He then hides behind the door, but no, the cops can see him there.
So the teacher suggested to little Johnny "Hide under my long, fluffy skirt".
Little Johnny says "O.K."
The cops arrive and ask the teacher "Have you seen a little boy around here?".
The teacher replies "sorry, I haven't".
When the cops left the classroom the teacher says" Johnny, the cops are gone.you can come out now".
Little johnny replies" not yet, I got one more braid to go".

30 0

Little Johnny Jokes School Jokes Food Jokes Dirty jokes

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'"
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher; ...she's dead."

30 0

Medical and Doctor Jokes School Jokes Kids Jokes Lawyer Jokes

Robert came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.
'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', Asked Robert.
'I'm going to Nairobi', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get 4000 a night for what I give you for free!
'Robert said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand.
'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife.
Robert said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on 8000 a year!'

30 0

Marriage and Family Jokes Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Sex Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

If they bring shrimp home on shrimp boats, fish home on fish boats, and clams home on clam boats, what do they bring сrавs home on?
The Captains Dinghy!

30 0

Fishing Jokes Animal Jokes Military Jokes

Two old drunks in a bar. The first one says,
"Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with either of my hands.
By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard.
"By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem.
I'm gonna be 60 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand"
"So," says the second drunк, "what's your point?"
"Well," says the first, "I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get!"

30 0

Bar and Bartender Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Old People Jokes

Most Popular Jokes