Most popular jokes

Yo' Mama is so dirтy, she has to use Right Guard and Left Guard.

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Q: Why have scientists started using lawyers for experiments instead of rats?
A: They don't become so attached to the lawyers.

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Lawyers Off Bridge...
What do you call one lawyer thrown off a bridge into a river? Pollution. What do you call all the lawyers thrown off a bridge? Solution.

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Office and Work Jokes One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a "great" writer.
When asked to define "great" he said "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation, and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.

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Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England?
She found out Big Ben was only a clock.

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Q: Why do dogs liск their ваlls?
A: Because they can.
Q: So why do they stick their noses in women's crotches?
A: Same reason.

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Gross Jokes Jokes about Women Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Dog jokes

What's gross?
Farting in the bathtub.
What's grosser than that?
Catching the bubbles with your teeth.

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Gross Jokes Fart Jokes

Q: What went through the fly's mind as he hit the windshield?
A: His вuтт.

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Gross Jokes

Do you know what would be sick?
If you sat in Santa's lap and you felt him get a воnеr.
Do you know what would be even worse?
If he stood up and you were still sitting in his lap.

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Gross Jokes Dirty jokes

What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant?
Burgers and flies.

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Q: What's grosser than gross?
A: Two vampires fighting over a used тамроn.

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Gross Jokes Vampire jokes

A Russian guy comes across a bottle of vоdка on the street. He picks it up and a genie comes out, "You are my master. You now have one wish."
The Russian man says, "I would like to рiss vоdка."
When the he gets home, he tells his wife to get two glasses. She asks what they'll be drinking. He tells her he can рiss vоdка and demonstrates for her. It was the best vоdка they'd ever had.
The next night the Russian guy comes home tired and tells his wife to get one glass. She asks, "Why only one glass?"
"Because tonight," he says, "you should drink from the bottle."

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Question: Why does Tigger smell?
Answer: You'd smell too if you played with Pooh all day!

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Gross Jokes Animal Jokes

A young, innocent couple goes on their honeymoon. They get nакеd and jump into bed, but neither knows what to do. Eventually, they decide to rub their noses together. After awhile, they decide to rub their toes together. Finally, they begin to rub their hips together.
Suddenly, the man jumps up and runs to the bathroom. After several minutes, he returns to the bedroom, looking scared.
"What happened?" asks his bride.
"I don't know," he replies, "but something curdled my urinе!"

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Gross Jokes Men jokes

Jane was sitting in anatomy class on day when her teacher asked her a question. He inquired:
"What grows to 10 times its original size when excited?"
Jane blushed and said that she didn't know. Jimmy raised his hand and said,
"I know! The pupil of the eye." The teacher replied,
"Yes, very good Jimmy."
The the teacher turned to Jane and said,
"Jane I have three things to say to you:
One - you have a very dirтy mind.
Two - you haven't been studying hard enough. And three - you're going to be very disappointed!"

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School Jokes

An 80-year-old man tells his wife, "I'm going to the doctor to get me some of those new Viаgrа pills."
His wife gets her coat on and says, "I'm going to the doctor, too. If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm getting a tetanus shot."

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On the day of her wedding to Prince Edward, Sophie gets dressed and realizes that she forgot her shoes. Panic sets in until her sister loans her another pair of shoes. Unfortunately they are a bit too small and at the end of the night Sophie's feet are in agony.
The rest of the Royal Family crowds around the door to the bedroom and they hear grunts, straining noises and the occasional muffled scream. Eventually, they hear Edward say, "God, that was tight."
"There," whispers the Queen to the Duke, "I told you she was a virgin."
Then, to their surprise, they hear Edward say, "Right. Now for the other one." Followed by more grunting and, "My God. That was even tighter."
"That's my boy," says the Duke. "Once a sailor, always a sailor."

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A blonde has sharp pains in her side, so she goes to the hospital. The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis."
The blonde says, "That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help."

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Q: Why did the man put condoms on his ears during sеx?
A: He didn't want to get hearing aids.

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A blonde takes her typewriter to the doctor. "Doc, I'm afraid my typewriter is pregnant."
The doctor asks, "Why in the world would you think that?"
She says, "Because it's started missing its period."

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Men vs Women Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes

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