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Latest Jokes

When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide.
When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't need money he gets everything for free.

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Money jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

The wind of Chuck Norris's round house kick can be felt from 1600 million miles away.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

Chuck Norris' sweat is used to disinfect operating rooms.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

Lays сhiрs claims "No one can eat just one".
Wrong.
Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.

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Food Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

In fourth grade, a teacher edited Chuck Norris's essay.
Big mistake.
You don't edit Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris edits you... with his fist.

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School Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Ballet is banned within a 1000 miles of Chuck Norris.

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Sports Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.

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Food Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes

Chuck Norris has 10 custom classes on Modern Warfare 2, and hes never prestiged.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead wake up on an island with a gun.
Only three bullets were in the barrel.
"I'm going hunting," said the redhead, and she ran into the vegetation.
She came back with a rabbit.
"How did you get that?" the other two asked.
"I followed the tracks, shot it and brought it back.
The brunette, thinking that she could do better, went out and came back with a deer.
"How did you get that?" the other two asked.
"I followed the tracks, shot it and brought it back.
"I could do better than either of you" said the blonde and ran into the forest and came back with bruises and scrapes.
"What happened?" they asked.
"I followed the tracks and got hit by a train."

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Blonde Jokes

Chuck Norris wanted more dialogue for his next movie.
It was too short for release.

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Office and Work Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Communication Jokes

Teacher: Ramu, why do you always get so dirтy?
Ramu: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

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School Jokes

Chuck Norris is a hunter.
But Chuck Norris does not hunt.
That implies the possibility of failure.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Hunting Jokes

Men are like vacations – they never seem to be long enough.

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Men jokes Sex Jokes

A golf club walks into a local bar and asks the barman for a pint of вееr.
The barman refuses to serve him.
"Why not," asks the golf club.
"You'll be driving later," replies the bartender.

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Golf jokes

What does a frog say when it sees something' great?
Toadly awesome!

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Animal Jokes

Chuck norris can eat chicken tonight tomorow.

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

One cutting edge aquarium saved a lot of money when its owner discovered a means to make the dolphins live forever -- since the dolphins never died, no money needed to be spent on buying new ones.
Extending the dolphins' lives required putting a special mixture into their food; one of the ingredients was baby sea gull meat.
So one day, one of the workers was sent to the beach to find some.
On the way back, baby sea gulls in hand, he had to pass through a forest.
In the middle of the path was a sleeping lion.
He very carefully stepped over it, only to be handcuffed by a policeman.
"Officer," he said,
"What's going on?"
"You're under arrest," said the policeman.
"But why?" he asked.
The policeman replied, "For transporting young gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises."

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Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Food Jokes Police Officer Jokes

When chuck Norris was in school, he made his PE teacher run laps.

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School Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago?
Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....

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