Newest jokes

It’s never a good idea to ask a chemist to make you a Pb and J sandwich…

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Chemistry Jokes

What was a cation doing up a tree? It had been driven up there by a dogion.

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Chemistry Jokes

What is a girl’s best friend in potentia? Carbon.

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Chemistry Jokes

What does Santa say when you leave him traditional Christmas sherry? HOH-HOH-HOH thank you so much!!!

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Chemistry Jokes

What is CH2O? Seawater of course!

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Chemistry Jokes

Do you know the formula for sodium hydride? NaH…

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Chemistry Jokes

What is Beethoven’s favourite element? Sodium! Na na na naaa!What is hydrophobic? A person suffering from an irrational fear of utility bills.

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Chemistry Jokes

Neutron goes into a house of ill repute and enjoys the company of a particularly seductive girl. When he’s leaving and asks how much he should pay, she smiles at him, batting her eyelids and breathes, “For you, there’s no charge.”

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Chemistry Jokes

What do you get when you replace the carbon atoms with iron in a benzene ring? A ferrous wheel!

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Chemistry Jokes

All this arguing whether the glass is half full or half empty is futile. It is always full, only in varying ratios of liquid and gas.

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Chemistry Jokes

I got this fantastic book about helium. It is impossible to lay down.

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Chemistry Jokes

What is so great about nitrates? You get double the pay of the dayrates.

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Chemistry Jokes

Why is it not a good idea to get romantically involved with a hemiacetal? Because he is seriously unstable and always has some alcohol.

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Chemistry Jokes

My experiment blew up, annihilating the entire lab. But that’s life, oxidants happen.

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Chemistry Jokes

Two atoms are walking along when one says, “Hey, somebody just stole my electron!”
“Are you sure?” asks the other electron.
“Yeah, I’m positive!”

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Chemistry Jokes

What to do with a chemist who’s gotten sick? If you can’t curium and you can’t helium, find a good spot to barium.

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Chemistry Jokes

Sometimes, Cesium and Iodine get together and watch telly. CSI is their preference.

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Chemistry Jokes

What is H2O4? It’s for drinking, washing, gargling… you name it.

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Chemistry Jokes