Newest jokes

The guests in this hotel are always stealing soaps, shower gels and shampoos from their rooms.
Dirty ваsтаrds!

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Good jokes | Hotel Jokes

Why do mathematicians tend to marry larger women?
Because they like curves.

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Math jokes, Mathematics Jokes, Mathematicians jokes, Algebra Jokes | Good jokes

Robert Crinklethumbknut, international tongue-twister champion, made headlines when he got arrested. The rumor is, he’s getting a really tough sentence.

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I dig, you dig, she dig, we dig, you dig…the poem may not be beautiful, but it's certainly very deep.

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I’ve seen this show about beavers last night – best dam documentary I’ve ever seen!”

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I ate 4 bowls of delicious alphabet soup. After that I had a massive vowel movement. What lies on the ocean bed and is twitching uncontrollably? A nervous wreck.

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I’m getting really claustrophobic in elevators. I’ve had to start taking steps to avoid it.

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How to catch a squirrel?
Go in a forest and act nuts.

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In theory, 747 shouldn’t ever crash, should it?
It should just go ‘Boeing’.

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Aviation Jokes | Good jokes

Daddy somebody’s at the door. He’s collecting for the district’s new indoor swimming pool.
Ok, give him a bucket of water then.

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If a wild pig kills you, does it mean you’ve been boared to death?

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What is red and occasionally explodes in the fruit section?
A pomegranate.

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Nurse to a doctor: Doctor, here’s your list of heart, liver and kidney donors. I already sorted them alphabetically.
Doctor: Excellent job. Seriously well оrgаn-ized.

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A guy goes to a doctor because he’s got a strawberry growing out of his chest. The doctor looks, examines and finally says, “Let me give you some cream to put on it.”

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Vegans believe meat eaters and butchers are gross.
But those who sell you fruits and vegetables are grocer.

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Vegan and Vegetarian Jokes | Good jokes

Would it be possible to cross an eel with an eagle?
Absolutely not. That would be eeleagle.

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I have an intense desire to return to the wомв. Anybody's.
Woddy Allen

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"You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'see if you can вlоw this one out.'"
Jerry Seinfeld

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