Newest jokes - Page 68

A little while later Johnny's dad hears a commotion coming from Johnny's bedroom, he rushes in and is horrified to see Johnny shаgging his gran!
Johnny just looks at him and says "not so funny when its your mum is it ?"

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What do black people and bicycles have in common?
They only work with a chain on.

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Office and Work Jokes Black People Jokes

Robert came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.
'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', Asked Robert.
'I'm going to Nairobi', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get 4000 a night for what I give you for free!
'Robert said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand.
'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife.
Robert said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on 8000 a year!'

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Marriage and Family Jokes Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Sex Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

Little Johnny was going to his faters house one day and he was packing everthing in his room and putting it in his little red wagon.
He was walking to his fathers house with his wagon behind him, when he came to this hill.
He started up the hill but was constantly swearing "This dамn thing is so heavy"
A priest heard him and came out.
"You shouldn't be swearing" said the priest.
"God hears you...He is everywhere...He's in the chruch...He's on the sidewalk...He's everywhere"
Then Little Johnny says "Oh is he in my Wagon"
The priest replies "Yes Johnny God is in your Wagon"
Little Johnny says "Well tell him to get the hеll out and start pulling"

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Priest Jokes Little Johnny Jokes God Jokes Church jokes Dad Jokes Priest Jokes

When Nasa first began sending astronauts into space, they were confronted by a small problem. Their standard ballpoint pens would not work in space.
They spent a decade and twelve million dollars designing a pen that would work below three hundred degrees, in space, and on glass.
Russia used a pencil.

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USA Jokes Office and Work Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Russian Jokes

What do you call 50 lеsвiаns and 50 government employees in one room?
100 people that don''t do diск!

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Gay and Lesbian Jokes Lesbian jokes

Q. What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common ?
A. Nothing, yet.

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Dark Humor Jokes Military Jokes

Maths and Girls are the most complicated things, but Maths at least has some logic.

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Math Jokes

A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains.
She tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen.”
The surprised salesman replies, “But, madam, computers do not have curtains.”
And the blonde said, “Helloooo…. I’ve got Windows!”

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Blonde Jokes Computer Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Two statisticians go bird hunting.
The first one fires at the bird but overshoots by 5 feet.
The second one fires and undershoots the bird by 5 feet.
They both give each other a high-five and say "Got it!"

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Science jokes Math Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
I'm Mr, Farter.
Mr, Farter who?
I've brought some insecticides to give to your mother in law!

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Knock-knock jokes Dark Humor Jokes Mother-in-Law Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord.
He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

A young Jewish Mom walks her son to the school bus corner on his first day of kindergarten.
"Behave, my bubaleh," she says.
"Take good care of yourself and think about your Mother, tataleh!"
"And come right back home on the bus, schein kindaleh."
"Your Mommy loves you a lot, my ketsaleh!"
At the end of the school day the bus comes back and she runs to her son and hugs him.
"So what did my pupaleh learn on his first day of school?"
The boy answers, "I learned my name is David."

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Jewish Jokes School Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'"
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher; ...she's dead."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes School Jokes Kids Jokes Lawyer Jokes

A man has his car full of penguins.
He drives past a policeman, but the policeman stops him. He says:
"Hey, you! Yeah, you! You should take those penguins to the zoo!"
The man does that.
The next day in the same spot, the man still has the penguins.
Once again he drives past the policeman.
"Hey, I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo!"
"I did," replies the man.
"We had so much fun that were going to the beach today!"

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Police Officer Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes

Yo mama is so sтuрid, I said it was going to be chili out and she grabbed a bowl and a spoon.

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Yo Momma Jokes

I like my women like my morning coffee, falling off the roof of my car as I peel out of a gas station parking lot.

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Car and driving jokes Jokes about Women Coffee Jokes

Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup."
Waiter: "That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much."

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Waiter Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes

Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson are hiking. They hiked all day long and then, having gotten tired, unpacked and quickly retired.
Holmes wakes up deep into the night, wakes Watson and says "Watson, do you see the bright stars and do you notice how clear the sky is? What can you deduce from it?"
Watson yawns and tries to play the game.
"Well, this clearly tells us the weather tomorrow is going to be dry and sunny."
"No, my friend. It’s much simpler than that. Someone has stolen our tent."

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Sherlock Holmes Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Friendship Jokes Life Jokes

Three women were in a bar talking about their husbands and how they made love.
The first woman said, “My husband is a psychologist, and before we make love, he brings me flowers and candy. I like that.”
The second woman proclaimed, “My husband is a mechanic, he makes love a little rough, but really tunes my engine; I like that!”
The third woman replied, “Well my husband works for Microsoft and all he does is sit on the edge of the bed and tell me how good it’s going to be, when I finally get it…”

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Computer Jokes Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Love Jokes Psychology and Psychiatry Jokes

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