Latest Jokes

JACK AND JILL Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Sтuрid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
 
Mary had a little watch
she swallowed it one day
and so she took some Epsom salts
to pass the time away
But though she tried, and tried, and tried
she couldn’t make time pass
So if you want to know the time
just look up Mary’s …
… uncle in the Yellow Pages. He sells watches.
 
Mary had a little skirt
Twas slit right up the side
And every time that Mary sat
You could see her silky thigh
Mary had another skirt
Twas slit right up the front
… but she didn’t wear that one very often …
 
 
Mary had a little lamb
whose fleece was white as snow.
And everywhere that Mary went,
the lamb was sure to go.
But then one day the lamb was gone,
it is the worst I fear…
‘Cause Mary’s got a new wool shawl,
and chops to last a year.
Funny Poems
Две млади жени излезли от бара в четири през нощта, пияни като талпи. Walking home after a girls' night out, two women pass a graveyard and stop to pee. The first woman has nothing to wipe with, so she uses her underwear and tosses it. Två väninnor var ute på en "tjejkväll", båda lyckligt gifta, trofasta och exemplariska fruar. Denna kväll blev det en aning för många Bacardi Breezer och när de var på väg hem, extremt berusade,... Det var två fruar som hade varit ute och roat sig. På vägen hem kom det oundvikliga när man dricker mycket, de blev "kissnödiga". De såg sig om efter någonstans att göra det de måste, och fick syn...
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My girlfriend admitted to me she was once a Christian, so I immediately broke up with her. It may come across as judgmental, but really, I've only ever known and loved her as Christine. My girlfriend just admitted that she used to be a Christian , so I broke up with her . It might be judgemental, but I have only known her since she has been Christine.
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MONDAY:
Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.

TUESDAY:
Fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when my friends came over for supper.

WEDNESDAY:
A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kinda of silly but I took a bath. I can't say it improved the rice any.

THURSDAY:
New salad recipe: prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. This led to the neighbors wondering whey why I was rolling around in the garden.

FRIDAY:
I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all ingredients in bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When
I got back, everything was the same as when I left.

This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out another new recipe on. If we could just get a вiggеr oven, I would like to do a Chocolate Moose.
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