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In the beginning, God created the bit. And the bit was a zero; nothing. On the first day, He toggled the 0 to 1, and the Universe was. (In those days, bootstrap loaders were simple, and "active low" signals didn't yet exist.) On the second day, God's boss wanted a demo, and tried to read the bit. This being volatile memory, the bit reverted to a 0. And the universe wasn't. God learned the importance of backups and memory refresh, and spent the rest of the day ( and his first all-nighter ) reconstructing the universe. On the third day, the bit cried "Oh, Lord! If you exist, give me a sign!" And God created rev 2.0 of the bit, even better than the original prototype. Those in Universe Marketing immediately realized the the "new and improved" wouldn't do justice to such a grand and glorious creation. And so it was dubbed the Most Significant Bit, or the Sign bit. Many bits followed, but only one was so honored. On the fourth day, God created a simple ALU with 'add' and 'logical shift' instructions. And the original bit discovered that by performing a single shift instruction, it could become the Most Significant Bit. And God realized the importance of computer security. On the fifth day, God created the first mid-life kicker, rev 2.0 of the ALU, with wonderful features, and said "Sсrеw that add and shift stuff. Go forth and multiply." And God saw that it was good. On the sixth day, God got a bit overconfident, and invented pipelines, register hazards, optimizing compilers, crosstalk, restartable instructions, microinterrupts, race conditions, and propagation delays. Historians have used this to convincingly argue that the sixth day must have been a Monday. On the seventh day, an engineering change introduced UNIX into the Universe, and it hasn't worked right since.
Monday jokes Boss Jokes
JACK AND JILL Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Sтuрid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
 
Mary had a little watch
she swallowed it one day
and so she took some Epsom salts
to pass the time away
But though she tried, and tried, and tried
she couldn’t make time pass
So if you want to know the time
just look up Mary’s …
… uncle in the Yellow Pages. He sells watches.
 
Mary had a little skirt
Twas slit right up the side
And every time that Mary sat
You could see her silky thigh
Mary had another skirt
Twas slit right up the front
… but she didn’t wear that one very often …
 
 
Mary had a little lamb
whose fleece was white as snow.
And everywhere that Mary went,
the lamb was sure to go.
But then one day the lamb was gone,
it is the worst I fear…
‘Cause Mary’s got a new wool shawl,
and chops to last a year.
Funny Poems
Две млади жени излезли от бара в четири през нощта, пияни като талпи. Walking home after a girls' night out, two women pass a graveyard and stop to pee. The first woman has nothing to wipe with, so she uses her underwear and tosses it. Två väninnor var ute på en "tjejkväll", båda lyckligt gifta, trofasta och exemplariska fruar. Denna kväll blev det en aning för många Bacardi Breezer och när de var på väg hem, extremt berusade,... Det var två fruar som hade varit ute och roat sig. På vägen hem kom det oundvikliga när man dricker mycket, de blev "kissnödiga". De såg sig om efter någonstans att göra det de måste, och fick syn...
Misunderstanding Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes Masturbation jokes