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Four guys enjoying a round of golf come up to the 18 hole. The first 3 guys put their ball in the fairway, the last guy drives his ball over the fence with his new Titleist. He tells his friends to finish up and that he will meet them in club house.

After a half hour goes by and finally the 4th golfer comes back all beat up with bumps and cuts on his head and bleeding all over. All his fellow golfers are like, what the heck happened?

He tells them the story. Over the fence was a bunch of cows. I noticed one соw was moaning and carrying on crazy. I slowly lifted her tail and there was a ball stuck in the you know what. Gladly it was not mine. About that time a lady came over the fence looking for her ball. So I told her to come over and let me show you something. I raised the tail on that соw and said to her does that look like yours?

After that I don't remember much...
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30 Harsh Things a Woman Can Say to a Nакеd Man
1. I’ve smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahhhh, it’s cute.
3. Why don’t we just cuddle?
4. You know they have surgery to fix that.
5. Make it dance.
6. Can I paint a smiley face on it?
7. Wow, and your feet are so big.
8. It’s OK, we’ll work around it.
9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
10. Oh no… a flash headache
11. (giggle and point)
12. Can I be honest with you?
13. How sweet, you brought incense.
14.This explains your car.
15.Maybe if we water it, it’ll grow.
16. Why is God punishing me?
17. At least this won’t take long.
18. I never saw one like that before.
19. But it still works, right?
20. It looks so unused.
21. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
22. Why don’t we skip right to the cigarettes?
23. Are you cold?
24. If you get me real drunк first.
25. Is that an optical illusion?
26. What is that?
27. It’s a good thing you have so many other talents.
28. Does it come with an air pump?
29. So this is why you’re supposed to judge people on personality.
30. I guess this makes me the early bird.
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A child walks into a whоrе house with a dead frog on a string trailing behind him.
He makes his way up to the counter and says to the person behind such named counter to give him the most diseased woman you have.
She looks down at him for a few moments and replies “I’m sorry but I don’t think I can help you….If you would like, we have this young petite thing that could be just what your looking for.”
The child puts a 50 dollar bill on the table and repeats “I want the most diseased woman you have.”
She looks down at the bill and hesitates but she says to him “I can’t, but we have this nice grandmotherly type for you to cuddle and snuggle up to.”
The child looking irritated slams down another 50 dollar bill insisting that she give him the most diseased woman they have.
A few moments go by and finally the lady agrees and tells him to go to room 114 and wait a few moments.
As he goes up the stairs the dead frog on a string follows right behind him, hitting every step on the way.
Half an hour go by and the child comes down the stairs with the dead frog trailing behind.
As he is just about to step out the door and back outside the woman behind the counter stops him.
“Excuse me, but I have on question before you go…what is the dead frog for?
Turning around the child has a look of pure sencerity as he begins to explain.
“I wanted the disease so I could give it to my sister, who would give it to my dad, who would give it to my mom, who would give it to the mail man…And that’s the Son of a Вiтсh who ran over my pet frog.”
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