American Presidents

Letter to John Hinckley

Mr. John Hinkley
St. Elizabeth Hospital
Washington, D.C.

Dear John,

Hillary and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our country's new spirit of understanding and forgiveness we want you to know there is a bilateral consensus of compassion and forgiveness throughout the land. Hillary and I want you to know that no grudge is held against you for shooting President Reagan. We, above all, are aware of how the mental stress and pain could have driven you to such an act of desperation. Hillary and I are confident that you will soon make a complete recovery and return to your family to join the world again as a healthy and productive young man.

Best wishes,

Bill Clinton

1 0

Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One.
Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $100.00 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy."
Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $10.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy".
Hillary tosses her perfectly hair-sprayed, bleached blonde hair and says, "Of course, then, I could throw one-hundred $1.00 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy."
Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy".

1 0

Bill Clinton Jokes Blonde Jokes American Presidents Humor

While undrеssing for bed one night, Bill Clinton notices a red rash around his "thing." Alarmed, he thinks, "I can't let Hillary see this!", and makes a point of getting to his doctor at Bethesda Naval Hospital, the very next day.
"Doc," he says, "I've got this red ring around my, you know. What is it, and how do I get rid of it?"
The doctor says, "Well, I'm not exactly sure what it is, but take these pills for a week, and see if that takes care of it. If not, come back and we'll try something else."
Bill takes the pills for the week, but unfortunately, the red ring is still there after 7 days. He goes back to his doctor and tells him the pills didn't help.
So the doctor prescribes another medication, capsules this time, and gives him the same instructions. Take them for a week, and come back if it's not improved.
Bill takes the capsules for a week, and dамn rash is still there. So he goes back to his doctor and asks, "What next?" The doctor gives him a cream in a tube this time. "Rub this on every day for a week, and let me know."
Bill goes back in a week and says, "Great news, doc! The rash is gone! That stuff in the tube was wonderful! What was it?"
The doctor replied, "Lipstick remover."

0 0

Bill Clinton Jokes American Presidents Humor

Clinton finds a bottle, opens it and a genie pops out and grants him one wish. Clinton wishes for peace in the Middle East. The genie says there are some things even a genie can't do and tells Clinton to make another wish. Clinton says he wishes that the whole Monica thing would go away. The genie says he'll take a second look at the map of the Middle East.

1 0

Bill Clinton Jokes American Presidents Humor

What's the similarity between Bill Clinton and a carpenter? One sсrеw in the wrong place and the whole cabinet falls apart.

1 0

Bill Clinton Jokes American Presidents Humor

Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly?
Because Janet Reno is her Dad.

1 0

Bill Clinton Jokes American Presidents Humor

Clinton asked Monica if she'd like to see the Presidential clock. She of course replied yes. He unzipped and pulled it out and she said, but that's not a clock. He said,
"but it will be when you put two hands and a face on it."

1 0

Bill Clinton Jokes American Presidents Humor

What does Ted Kennedy have that Clinton wishes he had?
A dead girlfriend!!

1 0

Bill Clinton Jokes American Presidents Humor

Why does Bill Clinton wear underwear?
To keep his ankles warm.

0 0

Bill Clinton Jokes Blonde Jokes Sex Jokes Political Jokes American Presidents Humor

CLINTON SOUP

One of the Nations largest Soup Manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking Americas shelves this week with their newest Soup creation, "Clinton Soup", that will honor one the nations most distinguished men.

It consists primarily of a small wееniе in hot water.

1 0

Bill Clinton Jokes American Presidents Humor

Happy Presidents' Day!

Future historians will be able to study at:
the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library,
the Lyndon B. Johnson Presidential Library,
the Richard M. Nixon Presidential Library,
the Gerald Ford Presidential Library,
the James Earl Carter Presidential Library,
the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library,
...and the Bill Clinton Adult Book Store!

1 0

Bill Clinton Jokes American Presidents Humor

Q: What' is Hillary Clinton favorite movies?
A: Кill BILL 1 and 2.

31 0

Political Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Sex Jokes Sick and Death Jokes American Presidents Humor

If you give three liberals a light bulb what would happen?
The first one would say its causing global warming.
The second one would say its racist.
The third one would say its not a light bulb unless Obama says let there be light.

31 0

Ethnic and Racial Jokes Political Jokes Democrat jokes Light bulb jokes American Presidents Humor

A reporter heard Bush and one of his underlings talking in the hallway: "Mr President, how do we know for sure Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?"
Pres says "You think we’re sтuрid boy?"
"We made copies of all the receipts!"

33 0

George W. Bush Jokes Political Jokes Life Jokes Stupid Jokes American Presidents Humor

Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush, he beats up the bush.

32 0

Chuck Norris Jokes American Presidents Humor

A reporter asked Chris Rock who do you think would win the presidency?
He said quickly Obama.
When asked why, he replied, has anyone ran a race with a Kenyan and won?

29 0

US Election 2020 Jokes Political Jokes Life Jokes American Presidents Humor

1 0

Donald Trump Jokes American Presidents Humor

A couple of senior couples were strolling along, wives in front, husbands in back chatting.
Bernie turns to Marv and says, "Ya know, we went to a new restaurant last night and had the best meal ever. Great prices, too."
Marv smiles and says, "Well, we like to eat out too. So what was the name of this fine new eatery?"
Bernie says, "You’re going to have to help me out here a little. What’s the name of that pretty flower, smells sweet, often red, grows on a thorny bush?"
Marv grins again, "Well now, Bernie, sounds like a rose to me…"
"Yes, yes, that’s it!" cries Bernie, then he calls ahead to his wife: "Rose! Rose, honey, what was the name of that little restaurant we ate at last night?"

33 0

Marriage and Family Jokes Old People Jokes Couple jokes Restaurant Jokes Superhero Jokes American Presidents Humor

Johnny asked his mom how to deal with a girl at school who liked him a lot.
His mom told him to find out how she really feels.
Johnny asked how to do this and his mom told him to beat around the bush.
Johnny then said, "what, just like you and dad do??"

33 0

Little Johnny Jokes School Jokes Dad Jokes American Presidents Humor

Hilary Clinton, George Bush, Sarkozy, a boy and a monk were stuck on a plane that is falling fast.
They are 5 but there are only 4 parachutes.
Hilary said "I'm a woman, you cant leave a woman on a plane to die" so she took one and jumped.
Bush said "I'm the smartest in the world, every one needs me" he took one and jumped.
Sarkozy blabbed something in french that no one understood, he took one and jumped.
The monk tells the boy "You take the last parachute, let me die" the boy said
"Why? We can both jump."
"How is that?" said the monk.
The boy replies, "Because the so called smartest man Bush took my school bag and jumped!"

32 0

Political Jokes Jokes about Women School Jokes Men jokes Aviation Jokes American Presidents Humor