Animal Jokes

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Why did the frog cross the street?
Because the chicken crossed the road.

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Animal Jokes

One day, two skunks named In and Out, asked their mother if they could go into a store and play.
Their mother said yes, but only for an hour.
An hour later, only Out came back.
Their mother said,
"Out, you'd better go back in and find In."
About 10 seconds later, Out comes back with In.
Their mother asked how Out found In so quickly.
"Easy."
Out said.
"In-stincts."

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Animal Jokes

Why God did made the snake before lawyers?
To exercise.

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God Jokes Animal Jokes Lawyer Jokes

Why do fish live in to the salt water?
For the reason that pepper makes them sneeze!

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Animal Jokes

I can teach my cat any trick he wants to do!

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Animal Jokes

"Yes, ma'am," the old salt confided to the inquisitive lady, "I fell over the side of the ship, and a shark he come along and grabbed me by the leg."
"Merciful providence!" his hearer gasped. "And what did you do?"
"Let 'im 'ave the leg, o' course, ma'am. I never argues with sharks."

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Animal Jokes

The little snail begs for his mother:
Mother, please let me pass the rail road!
Thunder dear, not now.
In five hours the train passes.

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Animal Jokes

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were having a conversation one fine Sunday evening.
One remarked to the other, ‘I got a new hearing device and it works fine?'
The second said, ‘oh yes, my grandchildren just love the gifts of my choice.'
The third one who noticed the hearing device in the ear of the first one asked, what kind is it?'
The one with the brand new hearing device answered ‘about 6 O'clock'.
All three of them looked up in the birds in the sky and said,
"Birds of the same feather ‘flock' together."

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Office and Work Jokes Kids Jokes Animal Jokes Old People Jokes

How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling?
She’s got that down-in-the-mouth look.

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Animal Jokes

The mouse and the elephant stay on the trunk of a smitten tree.
Near them passes the giraffe, who asks them:
Who pulled out this tree from his root?
Me off course, says the mouse, but the elephant helped a bit.

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Animal Jokes

Have you seen the offices of the RSPCA?
It’s tiny; you couldn’t swing a cat in there.

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Office and Work Jokes Animal Jokes

What did the dog say to the hot dog bun?
"Are you pure bred?"

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Animal Jokes

A blonde is driving down the road and she sees a dead rabbit.
She stops the car and called out, "Does anybody got any hairspray!?"
A man pulls up and gives her a bottle of spray and she sprays it on the dead rabbit and the man stares and says "Why u doing that?"
The blonde says "Hairspray is for dead hairs"

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Blonde Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes Sick and Death Jokes Stupid Jokes

A man bought a dachshund for his six children so they’d have a dog they could all pet at once.

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Animal Jokes Men jokes

What do you call a chilly dog sitting on bunny?
A Cold dog on a bun.

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Animal Jokes

How does a frog confuse you?
When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.

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Animal Jokes

A family walks into a talent agency.
It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog.
The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act.
You should represent us."
The agent says,
"Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says,
"Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says,
"OK. OK. I'll take a look."

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Gross Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Animal Jokes Dad Jokes

Q. Why did the tiger loose at poker?
A. Because he was playing with a cheetah.

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Animal Jokes

What do you get if you cross a cat with a gorilla?
An animal that puts you out at night.

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Animal Jokes

Q. What's green and red?
A. A very mad frog.

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Animal Jokes