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Animal Jokes

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Make the world your playground.
Whenever you miss the sandbox, cover it up.
Dragging a sock over it helps.
If you can't get your way, lay across the keyboard till you do.
When you are hungry, meow loudly so they feed you just to shut you up.
Always find a good patch of sun to nap in.
Nap often.
When in trouble, just purr and look cute.
Life is hard, and then you nap.
Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours.
Variety is the spice of life.
One day, ignore people; the next day, annoy them, and play with them when they're busy.
Climb your way to the top, that's why the curtains are there.
Make your mark in the world, or at least spray in each corner.
Always give generously; a bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, "I care".
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Animal Jokes
Yo mama so sтuрid that she mourned wen we slaughtered a goat for Cristmas.
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Animal Jokes Christmas Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Stupid Jokes
There was a blonde a redhead and a brunette running from a cop.
They hide in potato sacks.
The officer kicks each bag.... When he kicks the redheads bag she goes meow.... When he kick the brunettes bag she goes ruff... When he kicks the blondes bag she goes potatoes!
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Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes Animal Jokes Police Officer Jokes
The early bird might get the worm…
But the second mouse gets the cheese.
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Animal Jokes
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder.
Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to кill a соw and make more beef jerky.
Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Sick and Death Jokes
What does a turtle and a реdорhilе have in common? – They both want to get there before the hare does.
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Animal Jokes
If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.
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Animal Jokes
Two men were walking along the street when they came upon a dog licking his diск.
One man said,
"I sure wish I could do that."
The other replied, "You can, but you're probably going to have to pet him first."
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Animal Jokes Men jokes
Why did the dinosaur have so few friends?
Because Tyrannosaurus reeks!
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Animal Jokes Friendship Jokes
Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear started the forest fire?
He got arrested just like you would've.
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Animal Jokes
What’s black and white and makes a lot of noise?
A zebra with a drum kit.
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Animal Jokes
The proprietor of the general store at the cross-roads had his place overrun by rats, and the damage was such that he offered a hundred dollars reward to anyone who would rid him of the pests.
A disreputable-appearing person turned up one morning, and announced that he was a professional rat-killer.
"Get to work," the store-keeper urged.
"I must have a pound of cheese," the killer declared.
When this had been provided:
"Now give me a quart of whiskey."
Equipped with the whiskey, the professional spoke briskly:
"Now show me the cellar."
An hour elapsed, and then the rat-catcher galloped up the cellar stairs and leaped into the store.
His face was red, the eyes glaring, and he shook his fists in defiance of the world at large, as he jumped high in air and shouted:
"Whoopee! I'm ready! bring on your rats!"
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Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Animal Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes
What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox!
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Animal Jokes
Why do cops arrest black people?
Because monkeys belong in cages.
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Animal Jokes
This sтuрid bug is appearing on a blasted line which would вlоw up the toilet.
Then they go like "Tom tom tom tom" then back to the toilet and stupidly disgusted by a recently married woman and erecting a man in a toilet.
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Jokes about Women Gross Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes Masturbation jokes
What do you call a black and white thing rolling down a hill
A maori and a segull fighting over a fishhead.
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Animal Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes
I've been trying to find the right time to tell my pet hes adopted...
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Animal Jokes
Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us?
Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Son:why?
Dad: To get to the other side but your mother only made it about halfway
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Animal Jokes Dad Jokes
What is the difference between a man and a catfish?
One is a bottom-feeding sсuм-sucker and the other is a fish.
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Animal Jokes Men jokes
‘Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in?
I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.’
Sue Murphy
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Animal Jokes
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