Blonde Jokes - Page 52

A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm.
She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"
The pig says,
"I won her in a raffle!"

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Blonde Jokes

This executive was interviewing a nervous young blonde women for a position in his company.
He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, “If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?”
The blonde quickly responded, “The living one.”

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

What does a blonde say when you вlоw in her ear?
"Thanks for the refill!"

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Blonde Jokes Stupid Jokes

3 blonde sisters die and are told by an angel that in order for them to go to heaven they have to pass all 100 steps. But each step has a joke , each joke gets funnier and funnier. And in order to pass them all, you can’t laugh at any joke or else you go to hеll. The blonde girls accept the offer. So the angel begins telling them the joke, one of the girls laughs at the 3rd step. The second blonde laugjhs halfway there. Finally, the last blonde was at the 100th step. The angel said ‘‘this is the last step if you laugh you will go straight to hеll with your sisters and if you don’t you can pass. The blonde agrees and the angel starts to tell the joke, ‘‘What do you ca…’’ out of nowhere the blonde starts bursting out laughing. ‘‘Why are you laughing I haven’t even finished the joke yet’’? The blonde replies ‘’ I just got the first joke’’.

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Heaven And Hell Jokes Blonde Jokes

There's 1 redhead 1 brunette and 1 blonde.
Their all at the NASA space center.
The redhead says to the flight technician, "I want to go to the moon".
The flight technician says she can go tomorrow. The brunette says,
"I want to go to Mars".
He says she can go next week. The blonde says,
"I want to go to the sun".
The flight technician says,
"Don't you know you'll burn up?" The blonde says,
"Well then I'll go at night."

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Blonde Jokes

A blonde calls her husband at work one day and asks him, "Can you help me when you get home?"
"Sure," he replies. "What's the problem?"
"Well, I started a really hard puzzle and I can't even find the edge pieces."
"Look on the box," he said. "There's always a picture of what the puzzle is."
"It's a big rooster," she said.
The husband arrives home and tells his blonde wife, "Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box."

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Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Blonde Jokes

Person 1: What's the difference between a blonde and garbage?
Person 2: Garbage gets taken out at least once a week.
Person 1: Wrong. You tie the garbage up before you take it out.

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Blonde Jokes

How do you break a blonde's nose?
Place a dildо under a glass table!

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Blonde Jokes

There was this nouveau riche blond girl, who went to the nearest Mercedes showroom with a pocketful of dollars, and came out with the latest model.
Half an hour later she was back at the showroom, claiming a that the car they sold her was terrible, that she was disappointed a brand-new Mercedes would get a fault in the gearbox after 15 minutes.
The management apologized and gave her a new car.
Again, after half an hour she came back.
The management offered her a new car, but sent along one of their engineers to see if they could figure out what the problem was.
She put in the first gear... Speed up... Put in second... Third... Fourth... Fifth...
“And now,” she said, “for the rocket,” and threw it in reverse.

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Blonde Jokes Management Jokes

There was blonde who wanted to go on a diet. She went to the doctor and asked for his advice.
He said that she was going to go on a diet for three days.
"Eat anything and everything you want for the first two days of your diet. Then skip the third day."
So the blonde went home and ate anything and everything she wanted for the first two days, then she skipped the third day.
The next day she went back to the doctor and he asked her, "How is your diet?"
She said,
"Well, the first two days were easy but that third day was hard. Doing all that skipping made me really tired."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes Diet and Weight Loss Jokes

A blonde goes to the doctor's and find out she is pregnant with twins. She starts crying and the doctor asks her what's wrong. She replies,
"I know who the dad is for one of them but I don't know who the dad is for the other one!"

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Dad Jokes

Why do blondes need to have оrgаsмs?
So they know when to stop having sеx.

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Blonde Jokes Sex Jokes

What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working?
Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.

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Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes Car and driving jokes Stupid Jokes

What do you call a group of blondes on roller skates?
A mobile sреrм bank!

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Blonde Jokes Banker Jokes

A ventriloquist is sitting onstage at a comedy club.
He and his duммy are spurting out really crude blonde jokes, when a blonde lady sitting in the audience stands up.
"I'm so sick of you people who think blondes are sтuрid. It's because of you that I have had to try harder to prove myself at work and in the community. There are just as many dumb people with red or brown hair. There are just as many smart people with blonde hair."
"Gosh, Miss, I'm terribly sorry. I was just telling jokes, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."
"Shut up! I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to that little jеrк on your lap!"

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Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes

In a fancy Paris restaurant, there is a magical wish-granting mirror.
But it only grants wishes if you tell the truth if you lie, you disappear.
One day, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter the restaurant and decide to try out the mirror.
The brunette goes first.
"I think I'm the smartest woman on earth."
"РООF!" She disappears.
The redhead goes up to try.
"I think I'm the prettiest woman on earth."
"РООF!" She disappears.
The blonde goes up.
"I think..."
"Рооf!"

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Jokes about Women Blonde Jokes Restaurant Jokes

Be careful never to let a blonde have a coffee break...
It takes too long to retrain her afterwards!

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Blonde Jokes Food Jokes Coffee Jokes

When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
After a dye job.

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Blonde Jokes

L ittle Willie had a gambling problem. He’d bet on anything. One day, Willie’s father consulted his teacher.
The teacher said. “Mr. Gaines, I think I know how to teach Willie a real lesson. We’ll trap him into a big wager that he’ll lose.”
Willie’s father agreed to cooperate with the plan.
The next day at school, the teacher watched Willie making wagers with the other children, and she said, “Willie, I want you to remain after class.”
When the others had left the classroom, Willie walked up to the teacher. Before she could say a word, he said, ” Don’t say it, Miss Brown; I know what you’re going to say, but you’re a liar!”
“Willie!” the startled teacher said.” What are you talking about.”
“Your a fake!” Willie continued.”How can I believe anything you tell me? You’ve got this blond hair on top, but I’ve seen your bush and it’s pitch black!”
Trying to keep her cool, the teacher said, “Willie that isn’t true.”
“I’ll bet a dollar it is !” Willie challenged.
The teacher saw her chance to teach Willie his lesson.”Make it five dollars and you have a bet,” she said.
“You’re on!” Willie whipped out a five dollar bill. Before anyone could come into the room, Miss Brown. dropped her раnтiеs, spread her legs, and showed Willie that her рuвiс hair was as blond as the hair on top of her head.
Willie hung his head. “You win,” he said, handing her the fiver. Miss. Brown couldn’t wait for him to leave so she could get to a phone to call his father. She reported what had happened. “Mr. Gaines,” she said, “I think we’ve finally taught him his lesson.”
“The hеll we have,” the father muttered. “This morning Willie bet me ten dollars that he’d see your рussy before the day was over.

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Blonde Jokes American Presidents Humor

A guy admired the hair of three girls.
He walked by one and asked,
"How'd you get such lovely blonde hair"
Taking her hand and gently running it through her hair, the girl answered, "It's natural."
The guy walked by the second girl and asked,
"How'd you get such pretty brown hair?"
Fluffing her hair, the second girl said,
"It's natural."
Finally the guy approached the third girl and asked,
"How'd you get such cool green hair?"
Taking her hand and rubbing it up past her nose, then skimming it through the hair, she said,
"It's natural."

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Gross Jokes Blonde Jokes