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Blonde Jokes

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A taxi driver in a Mercedes-Benz picked up a blonde woman at the airport one day. When she got in and they started on their way she enquired what the three pinned emblem on the front is for. In a jovial mood, the driver replied "Well, it's for lining it up at people, so you can run them down". "Ah I see", said the woman. With this the taxi driver starts heading straight for an elderly woman, but at the last second swerves away. A loud ваng startles him and he looks curiously over at his passenger who appears to be hanging out of the car with the door wide open:
"I thought you were going to miss there for a minute!"
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Blonde Jokes Aviation Jokes
This is the last joke of the day, but not the last “fun” thing I will post to my blog. A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde worked as office assistants for Mrs. Jessell. They realized that Mrs. Jessell was leaving work early every day, so one day they decided that when she left early, they'd sneak out a few minutes later. Minutes after Mrs. Jessell left, they all did the same. The brunette took a nap. The redhead got ready for a date. The blonde went over to her boyfriends house. When she walked in, she saw Mrs. Jessell and her boyfriend smooching on the couch. She backed out the door without them noticing her, feeling very shaky. The next afternoon, after Mrs. Jessell left work early, the brunette and redhead said they were going to go home as well. But the still shaky blond decided to stay behind. “Why?” they asked her. “Because,” she replied, “yesterday I almost got caught.”
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Blonde Jokes
Why are blondes constantly running out of ice? A: They forgot the recipe.
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Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Ice Cubes Blondes & Ice Cubes Γιατί οι πόντιοι σταμάτησαν να φτιάχνουν παγάκια το 1981; Τα παγάκια. Η συνταγή ¿Por qué en Galicia no hacen más cubitos de hielo?. ¿Por qué razón las rubias no pueden hacer cubitos de hielo? Se les olvida la receta! Pourquoi ils n'ont pas de glaçons en Belgique? - Ils ont perdu la recette ¿Por qué las mujeres no pueden hacer hielo? Porque no se saben la receta. Pourquoi les blondes ne savent-elles pas faire les glaçons? Elles n'ont pas la recette. Warum haben Blondinen keine Eiswürfel im Gefrierschrank? Sie haben das Rezept verloren. Hvorfor kan man ikke få isterninger i Århus? - De kender ikke opskriften! Hvorfor kan blondiner ikke lave isterninger? – De glemmer opskriften fra gang til gang Hvordan kan det være at man ikke få isterninger i Århus? – Fordi ham, som har opskriften er rejst væk. In de belgische horeca hebben ze geen ijsblokjes meer. Ze zijn het recept kwijt. Hvorfor finnes det ikke isbiter i Svergie? - Jo, fordi de har ikke oppskriften. - Dlaczego blondynki nie potrafią zrobić kostek lodu? - Bo ciągle zapominają przepisu. Why are there no ice cubes in the blonde's freezer? A: She forgot the recipe.
Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
What do you call blonde twins doing bubble gum commercials? Double-dumb. Submitted by CalamjoEdited by Curtis
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
At a press conference the Brunettes announce they are going to make a trip to the Moon.
The Redheads speak up "That's been done before, we're going to go to Mars".
The Blondes speak up "That's nothing, we're going to be the first people to go to the Sun".
One of the reporters says "Don't you idiots know that you'll burn up?"
The Blondes say "NO WE WON'T; WE'RE GOING TO GO AT NIGHT!"
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Blonde Jokes
What does a blonde have in common with a noodle? A: They both wiggle when you eat them.
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
There was a magic mirror at a bar and what ever you say it can't be a lie or you die. So a blonde, a red head, and a bernett walked in that bar. The red head walked up to the mirror and said im pretty so she didn't die, then the bernett walked up to the mirror and said im prettier and she didn't die and finally the blonde walked up to the mirror and sad I THINK and she died
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Blonde Jokes
A Blonde walks into a Restaraunt, and she goes straight to the bulletin board in the back. The blonde is looking at the bulletin board and she sees a piece of paper that sais "Ocean Cruise Only 5$" She pulls the piece of paper off the wall and goes to the address listed on the back of paper. She walks into the building and hands the secretary the piece of paper. The secretary nods and asks if she had the five dollars. The blonde nods and pulls five dollars out of her pocket and hands it to the secretary. The secretary looks over to a burly black guy reading a news paper. She nods to the black guy. He stood up and nocks the blonde unconcious. When the blonde wakes up she's tied to a log and is floating down river. She started to think that this was a bad idea. When she sees one of her freinds (who is also blonde) tied to a log floating right next to her. In a Joking manner blonde she looks at her freind and says "So do you think they're going to serve us some food on this trip?"
The other blonde replies "They didn't serve any last year."
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Blonde Jokes Secretary Jokes
There were these three women. One blonde, one red, and one brunet. They were all about to be shot. One by one. When the brunet came up, the man asked "Do you have any last words before you die?" The brunet said "No." Then the man said,
"Ok. Ready, aime..." then before the man could finish the bunet yelled, "Earthquake!!" Then everyone ran and so escaped. Then when the red head came up, the man said,
"Do you have any last words before you die?" The red head said,
"No." Then the man said,
"Ok. Ready, aime..." then before the man could finish the red head yelled, "Tornando!!" Then everyone ran and the red head escaped. Then when the blonde came up, the man said,
"Do you have any last words before you die?" The blonde said,
"No." Then the man said,
"Ok. Ready, aime..." then before the man could finish the blonde yelled, "FIRE!!"
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Blonde Jokes
A blonde and a brunette are both in an elevator. On the third floor a man gets on who's perfect: Italian suit, handsome, great build with a nice вuтт, but unfortunately they both notice he has a bad case of dandruff. The man gets off on the 5th floor. Once the doors close, the brunette turns to the blonde and says,
"Someone should give him Head & Shoulders." To which the blonde replies,
"How do you give Shoulders?"
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Blonde Jokes
How do you make a blonde a brunette? Turn her upside down
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
One day a blonde walked into a barber shop and asked for a hair cut. when the barber asked her how she wanted it she said any way, just don't take of my headphones. She went into the barber shop every day for a month and told the barber the same thing every day. One day the barber decided to see what would happen when he took off the headphones. When he did the blonde grabbed her neck then fell over dead. When the barber listened to the headphones they were saying breathe in breathe out....
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Op een dag komt een dom blondje een kapsalon binnen met een koptelefoon op haar hoofd. Het blondje zegt: "De puntjes bijwerken graag." Kapper: "Zou je dan eerst die koptelefoon van je oren willen... Er komt een dom blondje bij de kapper, 'Maak er maar iets moois van, maar de koptelefoon blijft op', zegt ze. 'Ach', denkt de kapper, 'de klant is koning, ik zie wel hoe het lukt'. De kapper gaat... Es un pelao que se va a cortar el poco pelo que tiene, y que va con unos auriculares puestos. Cuando llega a la peluquería, la peluquera le dice que se quite los cascos, ya que sino no puede... A blonde gets her haircut while wearing a pair of headphones. The hairdresser asks her to take them off, but she protests that she'll die without them. The hairdresser sighs, and starts cutting... Une blonde va chez le coiffeur, elle a un walkman sur les oreilles . Le coiffeur lui demande de l'enlever pour pouvoir lui laver les cheveux. Elle lui répond que son petit ami lui a dit de ne pas... A blonde went to a beauty salon to get a haircut. When the beautician approached the chair where the blonde was waiting, she noticed that she was wearing a walkman. The beautician took the blonde... En blondine tager til frisøren. Frisøren forsøger at klippe hendes hår men er lidt træt af at blondinen gennem hele besøget har sine hovedtelefoner på. Blondinen kommer tilbage for at blive klippet... En blondin skulle gå och klippa sig, när hon kom in i salongen så hade hon hörlurar på sig och blondinen sa till frisören att hon inte fick ta av hörlurarna. Frisören började klippa runt hörlurarna...
Blonde Jokes Hairdresser Jokes
There was this bartender & he was working at the bar one night. In walked a group of blondes & they were chanting "44 days! 44 days!" One of the blondes was carrying a picture puzzle of Cookie Monster in a frame. The bartender leaned towards the blonde holding the puzzle and asked,
"Why are you chanting 44 days?" She set down the puzzle on the counter and said,
"A lot of people think us blondes are dumb, so to show them, we bought this puzzle and put it together. It said 1-3 months but we completed it in 44 days!"
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Blonde Jokes
Why did the blonde try and steal a police car? A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
How can you tell which tricycle belongs to the blonde? It is the one with the kickstand.
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Deborah, the вusтy blonde who was on vacation, sent home a postcard.
She writes: Hi folks, me having a great time. Where am I?
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
A blonde got a deck of playing cards as a gift but she couldn't find anyone to play solitaire with.
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
How many body builders/weightlifters does it take to change a lightbulb ?
6. One to change it and 5 to say "Man, you've got huge muscles !"
How many Sun readers does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
How many Sun readers does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
None, but one is enough to sсrеw up the joke.
How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb ?
Duh.... whats a lightbulb???
How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb ?
It depends how many blondes there are, but some people prefer it with the lights off.
How many poltergeists does it take to change a lightbulb ?
Three. One to unscrew the old bulb and drop it on the floor, one to put the new bulb in, and one to move a few more things about just for good measure.
How many nihilists does it take to change a light bulb?
There is nothing to change.
How many fatalists does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
Sod it, we're all gonna die anyway.
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Blonde Jokes
Two blondes were building a house. One saw that the other was going into her pouch and throwing every other nail out. She thought that this was weird and decided to look into it."Why do you keep throwing every other nail away?"
"Well, when I pull one out of my pouch, and it is facing towards the house, I nail it in. If it is facing away from the house, it is defective and I throw it away."
"You idiот, those nails aren't defective, they are for the other side of the house."
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Blonde Jokes
A blonde goes to the local restaurant, buys a small drink for herself, and sits down to drink it. She notices a peel-off prize sticker on the side of her cup while she is drinking. After pulling off the tab, she begins screaming, "I won a motor home! I won a motor home!" The waitress runs over and argues, "That's impossible. The biggest prize given away was a stero system!" The blonde replies,
"No. I won a motor home!" By this time, the manager makes his way over to the table, and he too argues, "You couldn't possibly have won a motor home because we didn't have that as one of our prizes." Again the blonde says,
"There is no mistake! I won a motor home!" The blonde hands the prize ticket to the manager and he reads, "WIN A BAGEL."
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