Blue Collar - Page 6

How can you tell if a West Virginia girl is a virgin?
If she can run faster that her brothers.

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Blue Collar Jokes

A Brunette a red head and a blonde were in ...
A brunette, a red-head and a blonde were in jail when they decided to break out. The girls broke out and the brunette said, "Let's hide in that barn, they'll never find us."
So they climed up the ladder and then the blonde threw it down.
The next morning, the cops said, "Come out with your hands in the air!"
The red-head said, "Hide in those baskets, they'll never find us!" So the Brunette got in the first one, the red-head got in the second one and the blonde got in the third one. Meanwhile, the cops were getting a ladder set up and trying to get up there. Once they got up, the seargent ordered them to kick the baskets.
So the cop kicked the first one: "RUFF."
"It's just a dамn dog!" yelled the cop.
The cop kicked the next one: "MEOW."
"It's just a dамn cat," yelled the cop.
The cop kicked the next basket and the blonde yelled, "POTATOES!"

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Blue Collar Jokes Blonde Jokes

A man went on vacation to Texas...
A man went on vacation to Texas. He went into a diner and ordered an orange juice and a steak. The waitress brough a pitcher of orange juice and the man's jaw dropped.The farmer said, "Pardon me, I ordered a glass of orange juice not a whole pitcher." The waitress simply said, "Sir, this is Texas. Every thing is вiggеr." So when the waitress brought the steak the farmer said, "Excuse me, I ordered a steak not the whole соw!" Again the waitress said, "This is Texas every thing is вiggеr." After he finished he had to go to the bathroom so he asked the waitress were it was. She told him it was down the hall first door to the left. Just as he walked through the men's room door he fell into a deep pool and screamed, "HELP, HELP! DON'T FLUSH!"

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Blue Collar Jokes

Q: Who has the right of way any time?
A: The car with a gun rack and a bumper sticker that reads "Guns don't кill people, I do."

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Blue Collar Jokes

Three girls named Samantha, Janet and Rebecca were driving through the country, when all of a sudden their car stalls. Samantha remembers seeing a farm a little ways back, so her and Janet walk to the farm, leaving Rebecca guarding the car.
When Samantha and Janet get to the farm, they tell the farmer what happened. The farmer raises a gun to their head and tells them to get a fruit, vegetable, whatever, just get something from the garden. Samantha grabs a turnip, and Janet grabs a single grape. Just as they come back into the farmer's house, Rebecca walks in. He tells Rebecca to do the same as they just did, and Rebecca heads off towards the garden. While she's out in the garden, the farmer tells Samantha and Janet to shove whatever they have up their аss, and who ever laughs, dies. Samantha laughs first, so the farmer shoots her. Then Janet laughs and she gets killed too.
So they are floating out of their bodies, and Janet asks Samantha why she died. Samantha said that the thought of sticking a turnip up your аss was just too funny. Samantha then asked Janet why she laughed, Janet said: "I saw Rebecca coming around the corner with a watermelon!"

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Blue Collar Jokes

A Tennessee man and an Alabama man were both fighting in a war and were captured by the enemy.
"Before we put you to death," said the enemy, "do you have any last requests?"
"Yes," said the Alabaman. "Could you play 'Yeah, Alabama' before you shoot me?"
"Sure," said the enemy. "How about you, Tennessean?"
"Could you shoot me before you play 'Yeah, Alabama?'"

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Blue Collar Jokes

What did the redneck girl say when she woke up with her dad on top of her.
"Watch it Pa or you'll crush my smokes!"

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Blue Collar Jokes

What's the difference between a Northern and a Southern Fairy Tale?
The Norther Fairy Tale begins with "Once upon a time..." The Southern Fairy Tale begins with "Y'all ain't gonna believe this s**t..."

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Blue Collar Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Black People Jokes

Redneck Visitor?
How do you know if a redneck has been in your house?
All your garbage is gone and your dog is pregnant.

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Blue Collar Jokes Dog jokes

Two West Virginia hicks get married and spend their honeymoon in a local motel. Right before they consummate the marriage, the women says, "Be gentle, I'm a virgin."
The man is visibly upset and storms off to his family's home. He tells them what happened and his dad says, "If she isn't good enough for her own family, she sure as hеll isn't good enough for you!"

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Blue Collar Jokes Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Dad Jokes

A salesman''s car breaks down in the pouring rain outside a farmhouse.
The salesman bangs on the farmhouse door.
The next morning, the farmer''s daughter wakes up to find her father in bed with the salesman. She shoots them both and takes off in the salesman''s car.
She assumes the salesman''s identity and meets all of his quotas.

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Blue Collar Jokes

Two good ol' boys were driving down the road when they needed some gas. After a while, they saw a sign that read "Free Sеx with Fill-up." They decided to pull in and asked the attendant for a full tank. After he was done, they paid and the attendant started to walk away.
"Wait," the driver yelled, "what about my free sеx?" The attendant rolled his eyes and came back to the car.
"Okay, but you will have to guess a number between 1 and 10."
"6."
"No, the answer was 3. Sorry." As the attendant started to walk off, the passenger asked to guess. The attendant agreed.
"7."
"No, I told you the answer was 3." The driver then sped off.
"I think that game was rigged," said the passenger. "There is no way to win.'
"Uh-uh," the driver said. "My wife won three times last week."

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Blue Collar Jokes

Two hicks brought home a puzzle one day, and sat down to solve it. A week later, they finished the puzzle.
"Well, that didn't take so durn long," said one of them.
"Naw, it didn't. 'Specially considering it says 3-5 years on the box."

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Blue Collar Jokes

You might be a redneck if you drive a rusted out pickup, with a chrome balespike.

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Blue Collar Jokes

If a couple from Tennessee get a legal divorce, can they still be brother and sister?

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Blue Collar Jokes

For my next trick...
Q: Did you hear about the magic tractor?
A: It drove down the lane and turned into a field.

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Blue Collar Jokes

Q: If a cowboy rides into town on Friday, and three days later, he leaves on Friday, how does he do it?
A: The horse's name is Friday.

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Blue Collar Jokes Animal Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes

If a farmer was only able to choose between buying a соw or a tractor, what should he pick.
On one hand, he would look funny riding on a соw. On the other hand, he would look funnier trying to milk a tractor.

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Blue Collar Jokes

1) You've ever had to lug a paint can to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
2) Your wife's hairdo has ever been destroyed by a ceiling fаn. 3) You go to your family reunion to pick up women. 4) Your richest relative buys a new house - and you have to help him take the wheels off it. 5) You think a six-pack and a bug zapper is quality entertainment. 6) Your family tree does not fork. 7) You've ever been too drunк to fish. 8) You've lost more than two teeth opening вееr bottles. 9) You helped your cousin move his refrigerator - and the grass underneath it has turned yellow. 10) You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.

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Blue Collar Jokes Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Beer Jokes

Three idiots decide to go hunting. The first one says he's going to get a buck. He goes out, and indeed comes back with a buck. The other two hunters ask how he did it. He says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get buck."
So the second hunter says that he's going to get a doe. And he does. They ask him how he did it, and he says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get doe."
So the third hunter says, "I'm just gonna shoot at anything I see."
So he goes out and comes back half a day later all beaten, bruised, вlооdy, and totally trashed. The other two hunters ask him what happened and he says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get hit by train!"

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Blue Collar Jokes