Business jokes

Most popular in this category
Sherlock Holmes Jokes Business jokes
Men jokes Business jokes
Jokes about Women Business jokes
A young man named John applied for a salesman's job at a big department store. It was one of the biggest stores in the world - you could get anything there. The boss said,
"You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close up."
At the end of the next business day the boss came around and asked,
"How many sales did you make today?"
"One," said the young salesman.
"Only one?" blurted the boss, "Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?"
"Three hundred thousand, three hundred and thirty four dollars," said John.
"How did you manage that?" asked the boss.
"Well, this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one and a big one. I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. I said he would probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his car probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took him to the car department and sold him the new Deluxe version we have."
The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?"
"No," answered John, "he came in to buy a present for his mother-in-law, who'll come to visit on Friday, so I said to him, 'Well, since your weekend's messed up, you might as well go fishing.'"
Men jokes Business jokes
A rather scruffy-looking man came into a bank. Reaching the head of the line, he said to the teller, "I wanna open a dамn checking account."
"Certainly, sir," answered the teller, "but there's no need to use that kind of language."
"Could you move it along man? I just wanna open a dамn checking account," growled the would-be customer.
"I'll be glad to be of service, sir," said the teller, flushing slightly, "but I would appreciate not being spoken to in that way."
"What the hеll? Just let me open a dамn checking account, okay?"
"I'm afraid I'm going to have to speak to the branch manager," said the annoyed teller, slipping off his stool and returning shortly with a woman who asked how she could be of service.
"Неll, I just won the TEN MILLION DOLLAR lottery," snarled the man, "and all I wanna do is open a dамn checking account."
"I see," said the manager sympathetically. "And this МОRОN is giving you trouble?"
Jokes about Women Men jokes Business jokes
Office and Work Jokes Business jokes
Men jokes Business jokes
A big corporation recently hired several cannibals in the interest of cultural diversity. "You are all part of our team now," said the HR rep during the welcoming briefing. "You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any of the other employees."
The cannibals promised they would not. Four weeks later, their boss remarked, "You're all working very hard and I'm satisfied with you. However, one of our shipping clerks has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?" The cannibals all shook their heads no.
After the boss left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, "Which one of you idiots ate the shipping clerk ?" A hand rose hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals continued, "You fool --- for 4 weeks we've been eating managers and no one noticed anything. But NOOOO, you had to go and eat someone who actually does something!"
Office and Work Jokes Business jokes
Job Application:
Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the department manager.
Upon completion of the test, both men had each missed only one of the questions. The manager went to the first applicant and said, ‘‘thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to the other applicant."
"And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct," asked the rejected applicant.
"We have based our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed," said the department manager.
"And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" the rejected applicants inquired.
"Simple," said the department manager, "Your fellow applicant put down on question..5, 'I don't know.' You put down, 'Neither do I."'
Men jokes Business jokes Single People Jokes
Office and Work Jokes Men jokes Business jokes