Cheating Jokes

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There was an old priest in a small town who spent years listening to confessions, most of which had been about adultery. One day he had enough and said “If I get one more confession about adultery I will leave this town.”
Now the people really liked the priest and didn’t want to see him leave so they decided to start calling adultery something else. Eventually the word “fallen” replaced the word adultery, and people would confess to having fallen. This satisfied the priest and he stayed in that town for many more years until his eventual death.
After his death a new priest came to town and after a week came to the mayor. “Mr. Mayor you must do something about your sidewalks. I’ve had a dozen people come to me saying they’ve fallen.”
At this point the Mayor starts laughing, realizing that no one had told the new priest what “fallen” stands for. But before the mayor could say anything, the priest interrupts him. “I don’t know why you’re laughing Mr. Mayor, your wife said she fell five times this week.”
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Викам на Кирето, които често изневерява на жена си: „Тревата не винаги е по-зелена от другата страна на оградата. “ А той: „Може би не е, но пък кравите са много по-хубави.
Cheating Jokes
The husband and his young wife were not on good terms. In fact the wife was convinced that he was carrying on with the pretty housemaid, so she laid a trap.
One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend and didn’t inform the husband.
That night when they went to bed, the husband gave the old story,”Excuse me my dear…….. My stomach,” and disappeared towards the bathroom.
The wife promptly dashed along the corridor, up the back stairs and into the maid’s bed.
She just had time to switch the lights off when in he came in silently……….
He wasted no time or words but quickly took out his diск, got on top of her and fcuked her like there was no tomorrow. When he finished and while he was still panting, the wife said You didn’t fсuкing expect to find me in this bed did you!!” and switched on the light.
“No madam”, said the gardener.
Cheating Jokes
It’s Bill and Hillary Clinton’s fiftieth anniversary…
As they sat over a candle lit dinner, Hillary made a confession. “Bill,” she says. “You know that rather large box in the basement you told me never to open?”
“Yes” says Bill.
“It had been bothering me for years and finally curiosity won over. I opened it.”
Bill sighed in disappointment. Hillary asked, “I found twenty-three empty вееr bottles and three hundred seventy seven dollars. Can I ask why you were keeping twenty-three empty вееr bottles?”
“Well, Hillary. I’m going to be honest. Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I would come home and open a вееr. I would drink it thinking about how I really love you and how sorry I was. The вееr bottles are reminders of the mistakes I made cheating on you.”
Hillary was surprised but she knew his past and accepted it. “Bill, I’m disappointed, but we have been through worse. I love you and I forgive you. Can I ask why there was three hundred seventy seven dollars in the box?”
Bill shrugged. “Every time the box filled up with вееr bottles, I took them back for the deposit.”
Cheating Jokes