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Мръсни и неприлични вицове, 18+ Dirty jokes Fiese Witze Chistes verdes Пошлые анекдоты Blagues salaces Barzellette Sporche Ερωτικά ανέκδοτα Безобразни вицеви +18 Fıkralar Анекдоти для дорослих Piadas Sujas Dowcipy z wulgaryzmami Fräckisar & Snuskiga skämt Vuile moppen 18+ Frække Jokes Vitser for voksne Alaston vitsit Piszkos viccek Bancuri scârboase Hříšné vtipy Nešvankūs juokeliai Pikantie joki Prostakluci
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Dirty jokes

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Geek Воотy Call... Test::
I'd like to do a usability test of your backend.
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Technology Jokes Dirty jokes
Geek Воотy Call... Sniffer::
My sniffer wants to decode your packet.
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Technology Jokes Dirty jokes
Geek Воотy Call... Sheets::
I'd like to cascade all over your style sheets.
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Technology Jokes Dirty jokes
Robot Воотy Call... Better:
You make me want to become a better automaton.
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Technology Jokes Dirty jokes
Robot Воотy Call... Insides:
Have you ever seen hardware like this before?
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Technology Jokes Dirty jokes
Three women talk about their husband's performance as lovers.
The first woman says, "My husband is a marriage counselor, so he always buys me flowers and candy before we make love."
The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and use leather sometimes."
The third woman shakes her head and says, "My husband works for an Internet company. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when I get it."
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Astronaut Воотy Call... Orbit:
I need you to help me complete an orbit trim maneuver.
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Geek Воотy Call... Internet:
Let me show you why they call me... The Webmaster.
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Technology Jokes Dirty jokes
Geek Воотy Call... Google:
Come on, I'm tired of Googling myself.
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Technology Jokes Dirty jokes
Astronaut Воотy Call... Belt:
I'd like to see what's under your Kuiper Belt.
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Technology Jokes Dirty jokes
You-Wanna-Do-What-To-Me-Elmo?
What does Michael Jackson call a Tickle-Me-Elmo doll?
Bait!
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3 Stages of Sеx:
1. House Sеx - When you are newly married and have sеx all over the house, in every room.
2. Bedroom Sеx - After you've been married for a while and you just have sеx in the bedroom.
3. Hall Sеx - After you've been married for many years, and you just pass each other in the hall and say, "F**k you!"
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What do you call a blonde with a dollar ...
Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on her head?
A: All you can eat under a buck.
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Q: What do you call a 900-pound woman with a yeast infection?
A: A whopper with cheese.
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Seek and Ye Shall Find...
On a senior citizens bus tour, while the passengers were unloading to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady stopped and whispered in the driver's ear.
She said, ''Driver, I believe that I was sexually harassed!'' The driver didn't think much of her complaint, but promised he would check into it soon.
Later, that same day, as the passengers were unloading again, a second little old lady веnт down and whispered in his ear, ''Sir, I believe I was sexually harassed!'' This time, he figured he'd better look into it.
A few passengers had remained on the bus, and he decided to go back and question them, to find out if they knew what was going on.
He found one little old man crawling along the bus floor beneath the seats and stooped down to question him. ''Excuse me sir, could I help you?''
The elderly man looked up and said, ''Well, sonny you sure can. I've lost my toupee and I'm trying to find it..."
The man continued, "I thought I'd located it twice, but they were parted in the middle, and mine is parted on the side!''
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What's worse than waking up in the morning after an оrgy with рuвiс hair in your teeth?
Waking up in the morning after after an оrgy with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth.
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Gross Jokes Dirty jokes
It''s awful scary in these woods, mister!
"It''s awful scary in these woods, mister!"
"You're telling me, I have to walk out of them by myself!"
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Gross Jokes Dirty jokes
One day there was a big lady swimming at the beach when she noticed that she had lost her top. She thought that no one would notice if she covered herself with her arms and walked overto her towel. Then a little girl came running up to her.
"If you're going to drown those puppies, at least let me have the one with the cute little pink nose."
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Q: Why don't witches wear undiеs?
A: To get a better grip on their brooms.
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Q: Why don't witches wear panties when flying on their broomsticks? Защо вещиците никога не носят гащи? Pourquoi les sorcières ne portent-elles jamais de culotte ? Why does the witch not wear panties when flying? Because she wants to get a better grip on the broom.
Gross Jokes Dirty jokes
What do a whоrе and a bungee jumper have in common?
They cost the same, last as long, and if the rubber breaks you're fuскеd.
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Der Sohn beim Bungee-Jumping? - Você teria coragem de praticar bungee jumping? - Claro que não! - Por quê? - Cara, eu vim parar neste mundo por causa de uma borrachinha que arrebentou e não quero sair dele pelo mesmo motivo. What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common? If the rubber breaks you're screwed. - Vet du vad det är för likhet mellan att hoppa bungyjump och att pippa en polsk hora? - Nä? - Om gummit spricker så är du dödens. Was haben ein Puff und ein Bungeesprung gemeinsam? Beides kostet 100 Euro. Der Höhepunkt ist kurz. Und wenn das Gummi reißt, hat man ein Problem! Vad är det för likhet med att vara otrogen och att hoppa bungyjump? Svar: Först vet man inte om man vågar, men sedan går det åt helvete om inte gummit håller. Saar en Moos wonen al 25 jaar samen. 'Zouden we nou toch niet eens gaan trouwen?' vraagt Saar. 'Ach meid,' zegt Moos, 'wie wil ons nou nog hebben? Wat is een overeenkomt tussen een prostituee en bungeejumpen? Het is net zo duur, je geniet er ongeveer net zolang van en als het rubber knapt ben je de lul. - Какво е общото между проститутка и бънджи скок? - И двете са евтини, бързи и ако гумата се скъса си мъртъв... - Vet du vad det är för likhet mellan att hoppa bungyjump och att vara otrogen? - Nä? - Först vet man inte om man vågar, sen går det snabbt och så går det åt helvete om gummit inte håller! Hvad er ligheden med en prostitueret og prøve bungee jumping?– Du er død, hvis gummiet går i stykker. Qual a semelhança entre uma ida ao bordel e um salto de bungee jumping? Ambos custam 200 reais, o clímax é muito rápido e, quando a borracha se rompe, eis o problema. (asta-i cu asemanare de fapt) Q: Care-i asemanarea dintre o prostituata si un elastic de bungee-jumping ? A: Amandoua costa 75$, iar daca s-a rupt cauciucul esti halit. Was haben Bungee-Jumping und Sex gemeinsam? - Beides geil bis der Gummi reißt. Vet du vad det är för likhet mellan en kondom och bungyjump? Det går åt helvete om gummit spricker! A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, your f**ked. How are sex and bungee jumping related? When the rubber breaks, you're screwed! What does bungee jumping and shagging a hooker have in common?.... Awesome at first but if the rubber snaps your f*cked!
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