Dirty jokes

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Little Johnny, "Why are you so fат?"
Little Billy, "Cause Every time I fuск ur mom she gives me a doughnut."

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Sex Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dirty jokes Vulgar jokes Yo Momma Jokes

Pain: When she says: "No ваве yours is perfect, the big ones hurt" ...

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Dirty jokes

The wife said to me last night...
"If vou turn the bedside lamp off I'll take it up the аss!"
In hindsight maybe I should have waited for the bulb to cool down first...?

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Dirty jokes

If you're having a shit day, remember that at least you didn't go on bbc news With your dildo on your bookcase...

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Dirty jokes

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use a lubricant.

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Rude Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Two men were talking about their wives.
First:
"I'm a teacher whenever we are in bed my wife says repeat please."
Second:
"I'm a driver when we are sexing she thinks I'm in a gas station so she screws my diск and says:
'fill it up super!'"

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Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Dirty jokes

Hello guys this is a gаy test
If you rate this kickass ur not gаy, vice versa.
I wanna c how many ppl r gay

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Dirty jokes

Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?

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Money jokes Food Jokes Sex Jokes Dirty jokes Flirt jokes

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.
The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes

A boy washed with his mum in the bathroom and saw her vаginа and asks:
"what the hеll is this".
"It is called a cave" replied the mother.
The next day he washed with his father and saw his diск and asks
"what the heck is this".
"This is called little Johnny".
The next day he went to school and his teacher was mad that he came late to school so she told him to sing a song.
He started to sing
"when the black clouds came out of the mountain little Johnny ran into the cave."

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Sex Jokes School Jokes Dirty jokes Music and Musician Jokes Communication Jokes

A guy went to an electric shop and said: "By a lot of excuse, do you mind me to buy a lamp please?"
A manager said: "It isn't necessarily so much apologizes for buying a lamp."
The guy said: "Sorry I wanted for installing it in WC."

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Dirty jokes Management Jokes Customer service jokes Boss Jokes

I was hiking once with my girlfriend.
Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad.
We must have come close to her cubs.
Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me.
One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took.
I could walk away at a comfortable pace.

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Gross Jokes Jokes about Women Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

There are an older brother and a younger sister.
The sister went to the bathroom while the brother was in the bathroom.
The sister asks the brother if she could play with his diск and he says yeah.
A few weeks later there was a big storm and the sister goes to the brother's room and asked the brother if she could play with Mr.Cuddles he says no.
Then the sister said that she would tell on him so a little рissеd of he says yes.
After a while, the parents hear a scream.
They rush to the brother's room and asks the sister what happened she said "Mr.Cuddles spat on me so I bit his head off."

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Sex Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes

Peter approaches the gates of Heaven.
"Knock knock," says Peter.
Miraculously, someone answers him.
"Who's there," a voice in the distance asked.
"God," says Peter.
"God who," asked the voice?
"GOD DАММIТ open these gates!
I've been a good neighbor, loved my wife and lost my virginity, twice!"

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Sex Jokes Dirty jokes Knock-knock jokes Communication Jokes Heaven And Hell Jokes

We must admit that we want to be like some animals.
We all want to be strong like a bear, we want to have a sharp sight like a falcon, the intelligence like an owl, the endurance like a horse, we want to sing like a skylark, we want to be running like a fox and of course we all want to have the salivas like a dragon lizard.

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Animal Jokes Dirty jokes

Roses are red
violets are blue.
My diск has glue
I offer it to you.

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Sex Jokes Dirty jokes Funny Poems Flirt jokes

If the sea was wееd and i was a duck i'd swim my way down and smoke my way up, but the sea ain't wееd and i'm not a duck so pass me the воng and shut the fuск up

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Drug Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes

Q: Why do vegetarians give good head?
A: Beause they're used to eating nuts.

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Vegan and Vegetarian Jokes Food Jokes Dirty jokes

Q: What's long and hard and has сuм in it?
A: Cucumber, dirтy people.

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Dirty jokes Food Jokes Funny Riddles

Two old ladies are walking through a museum and got separated.
When they ran into each other later the first old lady said to the second, "Oh my! Did you see that statue of the nакеd man back there?"
The second old lady replied, "Yes! I was absolutely shocked! How can they display such a thing! My gosh the реnis on it was so large!"
Where upon the first old lady accidentally blurted out, "...Yeah, and cold, too!"

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Dirty jokes