Fat people jokes

This Big black рrоsтiтuте who was also a Chelsea fаn, got a tattoo of John Terry and Frank Lampard on the inside of her thighs.
She says to her punter “If you can guess who they are you get a free shаg”. He looks to the left and then to the right and says “I dunno who those ugly ваsтаrds are but the one in the middle with the fат lips and curly hair is Shaun Wright-Philips!

0 0

Fat Jokes

If a girl texts you and asks if you think she is fат and you try to reply “Noooo”, auto correct changes it to “Moooo” so that’s pretty cool.

0 0

Fat Jokes

I saw my neighbour jogging at 1am this morning.
I said, “It’s a bit late for you Michelle, isn’t it?”
“I couldn’t sleep,” she replied.
“That’s not what I meant, you fат соw.”

0 0

Fat Jokes

Yo mamma so fат. When she went sky diving, NASA called it a solar eclipse

0 0

Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

Fат people.
You can’t run, but you can’t hide either.

0 0

Fat Jokes

Tesco Value Burgers - Low in fат high in Shergar.
What do you put on your burgers? A fiver each way.

0 0

Sports Jokes Fat Jokes

Combine 3 girls and what you do you get?
A fат chick.

0 0

Fat Jokes Sexist Jokes

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!
Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?
Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.
Sergeant:
Weight?
Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fат.
Sergeant:
Color of eyes?
Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.
Sergeant:
Color of hair?
Husband:
Change a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can’t remember.
Sergeant:
What was she wearing?
Husband:
Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.
Sergeant:
What kind of car did she go in?
Husband:
She went in my truck.
Sergeant:
What kind of truck was it?
Husband:
A 2015 Ford F150 King Ranch 4X4 with eco-boost 5.0L V8 engine special ordered with manual transmission and climate controlled air
Conditioning. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed, which has a matching aftermarket bed liner. Custom leather 6-way seats and "Bubba" floor mats. Trail-ring package with gold hitch and special wiring hook-ups. DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio receiver, 23-channel CB radio, six cup holders, a USB port, and four power outlets. I added special alloy wheels and off-road Michelin's. It has custom running boards and indirect wheel well lighting.
At this point the husband started choking up...
Sergeant:
Don't worry buddy. We'll find your truck.

0 0

Marriage and Family Jokes Police Officer Jokes Fat Jokes

My sister -- kind of on the huge side -- she weighs about 300 pounds, she's about 4'11". It's a pretty picture. We buy her clothes in those specialty stores for the вiggеr gal, like Lane Bryant. Clothes come in three sizes: Jumbo, Husky, and Oh My God It's Moving Towards Us.

0 0

God Jokes Fat Jokes

Yo mamma so FАТ, When storing 1 pic of her. MY 2.%TB HARD-DRIVE GETS FULL

0 0

Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

Boy [dials 911]: Help I have an emergency
Emergency Person: What is it
Boy:Two girls are fighting over me
Emergency Person:Thats no problem you are lucky
Boy:Its an emergency for reals
Emergency Person:Why
Boy:because the fат one is winning

0 0

Fat Jokes

Your Mom is so fат she needs a lifeguard for her cereal bowl.

0 0

Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

FАТ BULLY: Hey shorty i can see your feet in your drivers licence photo. SHORT KID: Hey fат аss you chased a bus full of white kids and yelled comeback here тwinкiе.

0 0

Kids Jokes Insult Jokes Fat Jokes

Fат bully:what are you staring at?
Boy:the reason why double doors were invented

0 0

Insult Jokes Fat Jokes

An Italian family is at the dinner table when the father says to his oldest son, “Tony, why you-a such a fат-a fсuк?”
Tony says, “Poppa, it’s-a Mama’s spaghetti! I can’t-a stop-a eating it.
“Poppa says, “You should-a take-a smaller bites!”
Then Poppa says to his middle son, “Michael, why you-a such a fат-a fсuк?”
Michael says, “Poppa, it’s-a Mama’s lasagna. I can’t-a stop-a eating it, it’s-a so good.”
Poppa says, “You should-a also take-a smaller bites.”
Then Poppa says to his youngest son, “Fredo, how you-a stay so slim-a and-a trim-a?”
Fredo says, “It’s-a so easy, Poppa. I eat-a lots and lots of-a рussy.”
Poppa says, “Рussy? Рussy, that’s-a taste like shiт!”
Fredo says, “Poppa, You should-a take-a smaller bites!!

0 0

Marriage and Family Jokes Sex Jokes Fat Jokes

It was one of the best moments of married life when my son finally found out Father Christmas wasn’t real.
I overheard him telling his sister in her bedroom, “It’s actually our parents who do it!”
My daughter said, “But I can’t believe dad would do that?!”
Then he said these beautiful words and earned himself that new bike:
“It’s not dad, it can’t be. Mum’s the only one fат enough, with a beard.”

0 0

Marriage and Family Jokes Christmas Jokes Dad Jokes Fat Jokes

When you have a fат friend at school see-saws no longer exist, only catapults.

0 0

School Jokes Friendship Jokes Fat Jokes

A man is standing on the bathroom scales desperately suскing in his stomach.
“That’s not going to help,” says his wife.
“Yes,it will,” replies the man. “It’s the only way I can see the fuскing numbers!!”

0 0

Men jokes Fat Jokes

Yo Yomma so fат when she farts it comes out ten minutes later

0 0

Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

My dad called me into the living room so he could show me the nudе photos of Jennifer Lawrence.
I said, “Dad, she’s a fат white blob.”
“Oh, sorry,” he replied, wiping it off the screen. “There you go.”

0 0

Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Dad Jokes Fat Jokes