Food Jokes

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Being a waiter may not be a very glamorous job
But at least it puts food on the table

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These times are harder on people with disabilities.
My dwarf friend is struggling to put food on the table

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What food makes women stop giving вlоw jobs?
Wedding cake

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I was watching my boyfriends dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with the him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When i looked down, he appeared to be dead. My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn’t know what to do ,so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waiting for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said ,”you know , your dogs been a little depressed lately…”

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What’s a lеsвiаns favorite type of food?
Finger-Food

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My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
Oh you’re talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back.
My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.

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My friend told me about a wonder food that he discovered that contains protein, fiber, and good fats
"That's nuts!" I exclaimed.
Edit: Wow! Who knew that by posting an original joke I'd get this many upvotes! That's nuts!

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I am so high and I made up a joke and I want to tell it and make someone laugh but no one is home so: Whats an epileptics favorite food?
Seizure salad.
I peed

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They say to never go shopping for food when you're hungry
But it's been a week already and I keep getting hungrier and hungrier.

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I was forced to swallow purple food color.
I feel violated.

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What’s the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop.
Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly

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Food is like dark humor
Not every one gets it.

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My Mum used to feed my brother and I by saying 'Here comes the train', and we always ate the food straight away.
Otherwise she wouldn't untie us from the tracks.

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Bears do not eat bears.
Tigers do not eat tigers.
Dogs do not eat dogs.
Cats stopped eating kebabs.

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My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help mean understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So me with my horrible humor decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, “Here you are a fine African meal.” then everybody looked at me in disappointment and then I continued to say, “what poor taste?”

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How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to сrаск.

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There was three Mexicans walking down the street when three old white guys approached them. The first white man said:
Whats up wet backs.
The first mexican said:
I am not wet, I am just greasy from stealing car parts.
The second old man said:
What the hells that smell, smells like beanery.
The second Mexican replies:
It don't smell like beanery, we just got back from taco веll.
The third mexican says:
YaYA, amigo, we just got back from Taco Веll.
The third white guys says:
I was talking to the bean, not the whole dамn burrito.

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Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

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Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder.
Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to кill a соw and make more beef jerky.
Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."

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If you were a food what would you be?
Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy
Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends
Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside

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