Friendship Jokes

The other day I went to my friends house
And his mom answered the door and said He just got out of the shower but u can Watch the raider game with me and I said
No thx I enjoy watching teams win

0 0

Sorry i cant today
My sister's friend's boyfriend's uncle's aunts's grandpa's half cousin's wife's neighbour's grandmas's uncle's grandchild's husband daughter's hamster died
It was tragic

0 0

Friendship Jokes

Bob goes with his friend, a comedian, to a comedian's meeting. When they get there, one of the men stands up and shouts out "34!” and all the other comedians laugh hysterically. Bob turns to his friend and says "I don't get what was so funny!” and his friend explains to him that the Comedians' Guild has assigned each joke a number to make them easier to tell.
All through dinner, the members of the Guild stand up and say numbers, and every time, everyone laughs, so Bob decides to give it a try. He stands up, and shouts out his favorite number:
"54!" Dead silence.
Bob turns to his friend and asks "What did I do wrong? When ever you do it, they laugh!" And his friend answered, "You didn't tell it well."

0 0

Men jokes Friendship Jokes

Pedro and Maria got married. Pedro was a “man about town” so to speak, but Maria was very naive and uninformed about the birds and the bees.
Pedro was a poor working man and could not afford to take time off for a honeymoon. So, that night they retired to his little shack. When Pedro was undrеssing Maria said, “Oh Pedro, what is that?”
Pedro being very quick thinking said, “Maria, I am the only man in the world with one of these.” And, then, he proceeded to show her what it was for, and Maria was happy.
The next morning Pedro went off to work as usual. When he returned home that evening, Maria was on the front porch obviously upset about something.
“Pedro, you told me that you were the only man in the world with one of those, and I saw Gonzalez the gardener changing his clothes behind the shed, and he had one, too.”
Thinking fast, Pedro said, “Oh, Maria, Gonzalez is my very best friend. I had two of them so I gave him one. He is the only other man in the world with one of those.”
Maria being very sтuрid accepted his answer and they did their thing again that night.
Pedro went off to work again the next morning and when he returned home, Maria was very upset, stamping her foot on the porch.
Pedro said, “Maria, what is the matter now?”
“Pedro, you gave Gonzalez the best one!!”
==

0 0

Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Friendship Jokes

0 0

Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Friendship Jokes Stupid Jokes

My friend, “Light in the Loafers” Rodney Limpwrist, has a birthday coming up soon. …
…
I’m going to send him a box of Farmer Fannies.

0 0

Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Friendship Jokes

I hear the boys are gonna strike," one worker told another.
"What for?" asked the friend.
"Shorter hours."
"Good for them. I always did think 60 minutes was too long for an hour."

0 0

Office and Work Jokes Friendship Jokes

Раddy died in a fire and was burnt pretty badly. So the morgue needed someone to identify the body. His two best friends, Seamus and Sean, were sent for. Seamus went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet.
Seamus said, “Yup, he’s burnt pretty bad. Roll him over.”
So the mortician rolled him over. Seamus looked and said, “Nope, it ain’t Раddy.”
The mortician thought that was rather strange and then he brought Sean in to identify the body.
Sean took a look at him and said, “Yup, he’s burnt real bad, roll him over.”
The mortician rolled him over and Sean looked down and said, “No, it ain’t Раddy.”
The mortician asked, “How can you tell?”
Sean said, “Well, Раddy had two arseholes.”
“What? He had two arseholes?” said the mortician.
“Yup, everyone knew he had two arseholes. Every time we went into town, folks would say, ‘Here comes Раddy with them two arseholes’.”

0 0

Ethnic and Racial Jokes Friendship Jokes

I, my woman and my best friend were in the pub tonight and he said, “It looks like your main squeeze is developing a spare tire.”
I said, “Yeah, My guess is that it’s a P175/65R15.”

0 0

Jokes about Women Friendship Jokes Fat Jokes

Say, Joe,” a man said to his friend, “how do you like your new job?”
“It’s the worst job I have ever had.” “How long have you been there?” asked his buddy.
“About three months.” Said Joe. “Why don’t you quit?” said his friend.
“No way. This is the fist time in 25 years that I have looked forward to going home after work.’

0 0

Office and Work Jokes Men jokes Friendship Jokes

Me: Hey, do you eat bacon
Friend: Yes
Me: Cannibal!!

0 0

Insult Jokes Friendship Jokes

A Minnesota couple decided to vacation to Florida during the winter.
They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday. His wife would fly down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile….. Somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband’s funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home to glory following a sudden heart attack.
The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted.
The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I’ve Arrived
Date: 16 May 2003
I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones.
I’ve just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is not as uneventful as mine was.
P. S. Sure is hot down here

0 0

Friendship Jokes Hotel Jokes

A passenger was having difficulty lugging his oversized travel bag onto the plain. Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to stuff it in the overhead bin.
“Do you always carry such heavy luggage? She asked, winded. “Never again!” the man said. “Next time, I’m riding in the bag, and my friend can buy the ticket!"

0 0

Men jokes Friendship Jokes Aviation Jokes

A guy goes over to his friend and says,
"You wanna see a picture of my aunt?"
His friend says,
"Sure." The guy pulls a picture out of his wallet and shows it to him. His friend says,
"But that's a picture of a fish!" The guy replies,
"That's my anchovy."

0 0

Friendship Jokes

My friend said “The holocaust could have happened to any religion.”
“Really!”, I said, “Have you tried getting 8,000,000 muslims in a shower?”

0 0

Religion jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Friendship Jokes

Let me make this simple, I want to be invited but I don't want to go.

0 0

Friendship Jokes

Friend: Is that one of thoose ugly paintings that are worth a lot of money?
Other Friend: No it's called a Mirror
Friend: ..................

0 0

Money jokes Insult Jokes Friendship Jokes

The name of this song is 'Things We Want to Know.' The first verse is things men want to know about women; second verse is things women want to know about men. Here are the guys:
'Why do you think you're so pretty? And why do you wear the раnтy hose? And why do you drink so much and don't have no money? And why do you mess with my stereo?' Here are the ladies:
'Why are all your friends so sтuрid? And why don't you wipe the toilet seat? Why is your fantasy to be with two women -- and you can't handle me?'

0 0

Jokes about Women Money jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Friendship Jokes

A neighbor asked his friend, who was celebrating 50 years of marriage, what the secret was to a long and happy marriage?
His friend replied, "When we were first married, we vowed to go out twice a week no matter how little money we had and we have done so for 50 years."
"Twice a week, you say?"
"Yeah. She goes out on Tuesday and I go out on Friday."

0 0

Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Friendship Jokes

My wife is my best friend. I hang out with her all the time, which is good, but it's also kind of bad to have a woman as your best friend. It's been giving me an identity crisis and, worse than that, I'm pretty sure I've got a yeast infection.

0 0

Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Friendship Jokes