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Insult Jokes

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I do love the New York City Marathon, though. That's really exciting when the world's fastest anorexics come to town.
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Insult Jokes
Bully:you got a messed up hairline you:yo mama's рussy got a messed up hairline
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Insult Jokes
Isn't it ironic?' No, Alanis, it's unfortunate. You have listed sh*t for three and a half minutes, and everything you mentioned was unfortunate. Now that you have a billion dollars, perhaps you'd like to buy yourself a dictionary because irony is not a 'black fly in your chardonnay.'
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Insult Jokes
Guy: My Diск's so big it's the size of a gorilla's
Me: The Gorilla's реnis is 1/3 the size of a normal humans excluding you
Class: OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Insult Jokes
Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.
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Insult Jokes
Girl: You will never get a girlfriend!
Boy: That's good.
Girl: How?
Boy: Because I wouldn't have to meet people who disgust me like you
Girl: .....
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Insult Jokes
Какво отговоря блондинка като я попиташ дали мигачът мига? Две блондинки се возят в кола. Един борец казал на друг: Blonde Rides Shotgun The Blonde and the Blinker Δυο ξανθιές στο αμάξι Скъпа, погледни дали свети преден десен мигач! Што одговара плавуша кога ја прашуваат дали работи жмигавецот на колата: Zwei Österreicher überprüfen ihr Auto: A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. - Vet du vad norrmännen säger om blinkersen i bilen? - Fungerer, fungerer ikke... C'est deux belges qui sont dans une voiture et le préparent pour partir en vacances. Le conducteur dis au passager - Va voir si le clignotant marche bien s'il te plaît. - Ouais, ouais, tout de... Carabinieri in auto: "Appuntato guarda se la freccia funziona". "Ora si', ora no, ora si', ora no ..." Det var en norrman, en dansk och Bellman som skulle köpa bil. Bellman ville prova ljusen och norrmannen ställde sig bakom bilen för att kontrollera ljusen. Bellman slog på ljuset. - Ja det... A man got in a taxi cab to be driven to work. They were about to turn a corner, but had to wait for the light. The taxi cab driver wasn’t sure his blinkers were working so he said to the man "will... A husband is driving with her blonde wife, the husband says "Can you stick your head out the window if the blinker works?" T hen the blonde sticks her head out the window and replies, "Yes, No,... Kevin, schaust du mal bitte, ob der Blinker hinten funktioniert? Kevin: Ja geht, nein, doch jetzt wieder, jetzt wieder nicht. Un tipo le dice a la mujer rubia: - Andrea, hazme el favor y mírame si funciona el intermitente derecho. Andrea sale y dice: - Sí, no, sí, no. What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working? Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Det var en Svensk turist som var ute och åkte bil i Norge. Han svängde in på en verkstad för att kolla så att alla lampor på bilen fungerade. - Kan jag få hjälp med en sak? Frågade svensken. -... Det var två norr män som skulle åka bil. Då sa den som skulle köra till den andra: - Kan du gå ur och kolla så blinkersen funkar? - Okej, sa han och gick ut för att titta. Så satte han som skulle... P: O que uma loira te responde quando você pergunta se o pisca-pisca está funcionando? — Está; não está; Está. Não está... Ein Mann bittet eine Blondine sich hinter sein Auto zu stellen, um ihm zu sagen, ob sein Blinker funktioniert. Blondine geht hinters Auto und ruft: Ja Nein Ja Nein Ja Nein..... A guy asked a blonde if his blinkers were working and she replied On,off,on,off Two blondes are driving down the road, the driver turns to the passengar and says can you tell me if my blinker is working. So the passengar sticks her head out the window and says... A guy driving his car asks his blonde girlfriend to stick her head out of the window and check to see if the blinkers are working, she sticks her head out and tells the boyfriend to go ahead I'm... Quando uma pessoa pergunta para uma loira se o pisca-pisca do carro está funcionado o que ela diz? R.. tá , nao tá , tá, nao tá , tá , nao tá....
This guy picked up a dumb hitchhiker, and he said, 'Before we go any place, there might be something wrong with my right rear blinker. Will you go back there and check it?' The guy went back there. He said, 'Is it working?' The real dumb hitchhiker said, 'Yes, it is. No, it's not. Yes, it is. No, it's not.'
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Office and Work Jokes Insult Jokes
"Nice hair."
"Thanks, I grew it myself."
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Insult Jokes
Every industry has nerds. Here's how you find them -- ask someone what they do for a living, and if you don't understand the answer: nerd.
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Insult Jokes
*Nerds phone rings in the middle of class*
Cool Guy: Awwwwww is that your girlfriendd?
*Class Laughs*
Nerd: No its yours.
Class: OHHHHHHHHHHH
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Insult Jokes
Do you hate it when you use a comeback against someone, and all the idiот can come up with is "That's you!" Instead of coming up with something witty?
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Insult Jokes
You're riding the crest of a slump?
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Insult Jokes
Моrоn: You're diск's small!
Me: Not really, let me just tell your mom to stop suскing so I can show you the rest.
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Insult Jokes
Hater: You're gаy...
You: I know, it's great being happy! You should try it instead of crying for the fact that nobody likes you.
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Insult Jokes
There's no way you can tell a women she's not fresh, is there? How are you gonna do it? You're gonna be like, 'Um, was you running today?'
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Jokes about Women Insult Jokes
Teacher - "Who do you think you are?!"
You - "Jake, from State Farm...?"
Teacher - "Oh, so you think you're funny?"
You - "I think I'm adorable "
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Insult Jokes
You: You suск.
Douchebag: And you swallow.
You: At least I don't choke. #Ownage
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Insult Jokes
Parent: Don't hold a grudge against your sibling for something they did to you. You (sarcastically): So when you punish me that's not YOU holding a grudge against ME?
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Insult Jokes
How many gallons of sемеn did you have to swallow to get that sтuрid???
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Insult Jokes
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell “crocodile?”
Glenn:
“K-r-o-k-o-d-i-a-l”
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
GLENN: Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.
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