Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

A husband and wiife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the 9 kids are able to fit on the bus, so the blind man and the husband decide to walk. After a while, the husband get irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? The ticking is driving me crazy." The blind man replies,
"If you had put rubber at the end of YOUR stick we would be riding the bus, so if I was you, I would shut the fuск up."

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How can you open a banana?
With a monkey!

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Kids Jokes Bad Jokes

A mother is trying to bring her son to bed:
“OK Ronnie, you really have to sleep now. If I hear ‘Moooom!’ one more time, there’ll be no ice cream tomorrow.”
*10 minutes later*
“Mrs. Smith? Can I get a glass of water please?”

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Kids Jokes

So, Sатаn is in the delivery room having a child. Soon, a feathered creature comes out. “Doctor,” say Sатаn. “What is it?” The doctor sighs. “Well, it’s not a boy, and it’s not a girl.” Sатаn looks frustrated. “THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?” The doctor looks up. “It’s a goose.”

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Kids Jokes

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.

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Kids Jokes

Kid:what is between moms legs?
Dad:paridise.
Kid whats between you legs?
Dad:the key to paridise.
Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.

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Kids Jokes

What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?
A pair of gloves!
Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.

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Kids Jokes

KICKASS this if you get like this,
Kid#1- What did you do during the weekend
Kid#2- Your mom
(I say SHUT THE FUСК UP)

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes

*Kid shows middle finger to other kid* Kid:
"Wow you finally took that finger out of your аss?"

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes

Bully: Hey nerd, why are you so small?
Short kid: Because I'm impersonating your diск.

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes

Daughter:
"Dad, a kid at school called me a lеsвiаn."
Dad:
"Smack her in the mouth and kick her in the vаginа."
Daughter:
"But dad she is cute."
Dad: ...

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Insult Jokes Dad Jokes

Can't believe I just ran over a cat. Haha, April Fool's everyone!
It was a kid.

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Kids Jokes

There's always that one kid in PE who thinks it's the f*cking Olympics.

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Kids Jokes One-Liner Jokes

I saw a young teenage kid on the subway today. He had a Mohawk hairstyle dyed yellow, green, and red. He caught me staring at him and in a nasty voice asked,
"What the fuск are you looking at?" I replied, "Sorry, but when I was about your age I had sеx with a parrot. I thought maybe you were my son."

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes Sex Jokes

A man boards a plane with six kids. After they get settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks, "Are all of those kids yours?" He replies,
"No. I work for a соndом company. These are customer complaints."

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Kids Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes

As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life change when I found out she was under the horse.

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Kids Jokes

Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn’t real
Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk

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Kids Jokes Dad Jokes

Kid: Mom I got detention
Mom: what for sweetie
Kid: Well, my teacher asked for my paper I got a 66 on
Mom: So?
Kid: She said " Give me the D"
Mom: So?...
Kid: So I did
Mom: I don't see why you got detention
Kid: I know right? and what's with the rаре charges
Mom: what
Kid:what

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes

I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a piñata

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Kids Jokes

American kid- "You're from the UK? Cool! So do you have tea with the queen?"
British kid- "Do you go to McDonalds with Obama?"

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes