Kids Jokes

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Annoying Kid: your gay
You: Please, I'm straighter than your mama's stripping pole

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes

Both my wife and I are bad cooks.
Our cooking is so bad, that our kids have started praying after we've had dinner.

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Religion jokes Kids Jokes

God is a man. No, wait, follow me on this -- follow me on this. I figure any deity that has five and a half billion kids who haven't seen or heard from him in 2,000 years -- that's gotta be a man.

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Kids Jokes God Jokes Men jokes

As a poor kid, I really had to scrounge for food. When the local McDonald’s locked their dumpsters, I used to sneak into оrgiеs to eat the grapes.

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Kids Jokes Food Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Fат guy:I can play basketball
Black Kid:No you can't and even if you could you'd Play for Miami Eat

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes Fat Jokes

A grandma lovingly gives her granddaughter a kiss on the cheek upon seeing her at a family get-together. Afterwards, she noticed the little girl wiping her cheek.
“Are you wiping off my kiss?” she asked.
“No”, she smartly replied, somewhat embarrassed but quick on her feet, “I’m just rubbing it in!”

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes

“Johnny, I’ve had a letter from your Principal, said the father.
It seems you’re very careless with your appearance.”
“Am I, Dad?”
“Yes. You haven’t appeared in school since last semester!”

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Dad Jokes

When I was a kid we were so poor that on Christmas morning if I didn’t have morning wood, I had nothing to play with.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Christmas Jokes

I’m sick of Christmas already. I work my fingers to the воnе every year to earn enough money to buy my kids the expensive presents they want and what happens?
That fат fuскеr with the beard gets all the credit….
Still, it’s my own sтuрid fault for marrying her.

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Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Kids Jokes Christmas Jokes Fat Jokes

Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.

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Money jokes Kids Jokes

When I was in second grade, my Grandma told me that she wrote a book. She said, “Look, I’m in print.” I said, “That’s great Grandma, but I’m in cursive.”

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Kids Jokes

Jеrк: hey diрshiт I know why your lonely
Kid: why
Jerk: nobody has time for you
Kid: maybe not you but your mom took all the time she needed last night

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes

A curious child asked his mother:
“Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?”
The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child:
“It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!”
The child replied innocently:
“Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.”

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Kids Jokes

Teacher: kid do you have your homework
Kid: don't have the homework
Teacher: tell the class why
Kid:theres something called having a life i don't think you'd understand b*tch

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes

A third-grade child was asked by his teacher to spell “straight.” The boy did so without error. “Now,” said the teacher, “what does it mean?”
“Without water” was his reply.

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Kids Jokes

A young boy performed a magic trick and then afterwards someone went up to him and asked,
"How did you do that?"
The boy replied, "Very well, thank you. I did it very well."

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Kids Jokes

Bully: Hey wimp, stop trying to be cool just by wearing those shades. Kid: I'm not trying to be cool, these are to protect me from the look of your face
Crowd: AWW SNAP

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes

An English man, an American and an Arab were sitting in a bar talking about their families.
The Englishman said,”I have 10 sons at home and if I had 1 more I”d have a football team.
“The American said,”I have 15 kids at home and if I had another I”d have an american football team.
“The Arab said,” I have 17 wives at home. If I had one more I would have a golf course!”

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Men jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes

The last time YO Momma jumped rope, little kids in China were hiding under their school desks.

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Yo Momma Jokes

Mr. Smith and his son Rick were called to Mrs. Liventhal's classroom.
"Mr. Smith," said the teacher, "I asked Rick 'Who shot Abraham Lincoln?' and he said that he didn't do it!"
"Well, teacher," said Smith, "if my kid said he didn't do it -- he didn't do it!"
Father and son left the school, and on their way home, Smith turned to the boy and asked,
"Tell me, son, did you do it?"

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School Jokes Kids Jokes