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If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?
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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes
One man said he got his вuтт whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Men jokes
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face.
Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men.
The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons.
Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face.
There is only one King.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Men jokes Sick and Death Jokes
How do the fairy-tales of the whites and the blacks differ?
The stories of whites start: Once upon a time...
The stories of blacks start: Yo, man, you won't believe what a f**k has happened to me...
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Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A. A dog is always happy to see you
B. A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
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Marriage and Family Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes
My Dearest Susan,
Sweetie of my heart.
I’ve been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement.
Simply devastated.
Won’t you please consider coming back to me?
You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill.
I can never marry another woman quite like you.
I need you so much. Won’t you forgive me and let us make a new beginning?
I love you so.
Yours always and truly,
John
P. S. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.
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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes
How does a gаy man fake an оrgаsм?
He spits on his partners back.
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Wie täuscht ein Mann einen Orgasmus vor? Er packt sie von hinten, nimmt den Daumen und spuckt ihr auf’s Kreuz.
Dirty jokes Men jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee.
This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Men jokes
Chuck Norris once slapped a man into next week.
The man was missing for four and a half years.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Men jokes
A crocodile has 2 eyes and 80 teeth.
Question:
What has 80 eyes and 2 teeth?
Answer:
A full bus of old men.
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Animal Jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes
Husband to wife: ‘You have a flat chest and hairy legs.
Tell me, have you ever been mistaken for a man?’
‘No,’ replies his wife.
‘Have you?’
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Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes
A widower who never paid any attention to his wife while she was alive now found himself missing her desperately. He went to a psychic to see if he could contact his late wife. The psychic went into a trance. A strange breeze wafted through the darkened room, and suddenly, the man heard the unmistakable voice of his dearly departed wife. "Honey!" he cried. "Is that you?"
"Yes, my husband."
"Are you happy?"
"Yes, my husband."
"Happier than you were with me?"
"Yes, my husband."
"Then Heaven must be an amazing place!"
"I'm not in Heaven, dear."
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Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes
A man was found murdered in his home over the weekend.
Detectives at the scene found the man face down in his tub.
The tub had been filled with milk, and the deceased had a banana protruding from his buttocks.
Police suspect a cereal killer.
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Men jokes Police Officer Jokes
Q:How do you find a man in a bar who is sensitive, caring and good looking?
A:He's nursing a Mike's Hard Lemonade and is acting super super gаy!
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Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something."
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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes
A guy was sitting in a bar, drinking away.
Suddenly he says to the bartender, "I have to go home or the wife will be mad".
(at this point he was loaded drunк)
He climbed down from the bar stool, and fell flat on his face.
The man then said "I can't walk and I didn't have that much to drink?".
He gets up to give it another try, this time the same thing happens and he falls flat to his face.
He says "I have to get home some way or the wife will кill me if I don't get home soon"!
He gets an idea of crawling home, so away he went crawling home.
He crawled up to his apartment and slowely snuck into bed with his wife trying not to wake her.
The next morning he woke up to see his wife running in the room.
She said "you were out drinking again last night weren't you!"
The man replied with "NO WAY!"
And the wife said "YOU LIAR!
The bartender just called and said you left your wheelchair at the club again last night"!
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Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes
A guy is sitting at the bar watching the game and enjoying his вееr.
Another guy strolls over and they begin to converse.
After a while the second asks if he had ever played "вееr football?"
He said no, and asked how to play.
"Well, if you chug a вееr, you get 6 points, and if you bend over and fаrт, you get an extra point."
So, the second guy starts off by chugging his вееr and farting.
The first man chugged his вееr with ease, and when he веnт over to fаrт, the second guy came up and kicked him in the вuтт and exclaimed, "BLOCK THE KICK!"
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Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
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Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes
What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.
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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.
“Why of course”, comes the reply.
The first man then asks:
“Where are you from?”
“I’m from Scotland”, replies the second man.
The first man responds:
“You don’t say, I’m from Scotland too! Let’s have another round to Scotland.”
“Of Course”, replies the second man.
Curious, the first man then asks:
“Where in Scotland are you from?”
“Aberdeen”, comes the reply.
“I can’t believe it”, says the first man. “I’m from Aberdeen too! Let’s have another drink to Aberdeen.”
“Of course”, replies the second man.
Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks:
“What school did you go to?”
“Sаinт Andrews”, replies the second man. “I graduated in ’62.”
“This is unbelievable!”, the first man says. “I went to Sаinт Andrews and graduated in ’62, too!”
About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
“What’s been going on?”, he asks the bartender
“Nothing much,” replies the bartender. “The MacClyde twins are drunк again.”, because there ain’t no way I can pass that test.”anisms.
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School Jokes Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes
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