Men vs Women Jokes

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¿Por qué los gallegos no pueden marcar el 911?. Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: Because she couldn't find the 11 Soru: Bir sarışın acil bir durumda neden 112’yi arayamaz? Cevap: Çünkü telefonda 11 tuşunu bulamayacağı için. Въпрос към радио "Ереван": - Защо блондинка не може да набере 911? Отговор на радиото: - Ами защото не може да набере 11... Varför kunde inte blondinen skriva siffran elva? Hon visste inte vilken etta som kom först Miksi blondi ei osaa kirjoittaa lukua “yksitoista”? Hän ei tiedä, kumpi ykkönen tulee ensin. Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven? A: She didn't know what one came first.
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A young man and a young woman were soon to be married, but they both had a problem they had never told anyone else about.
The man approached his father one day before the wedding and told him about his problem. His feet REALLY stunk, even if he washed them constantly, he was worried that this would scare off his new bride, so he needed a solution, fast. His father pondered the situation and finally told his son to wear socks constantly (even to bed) and always wash his feet whenever he got a chance.
The son thought about this and went along happy. The same day the young lady approached her mother and told her about her problem. Her morning breath was horrid. Her mother reassured her and told her everyone had bad morning breath. The young woman told her mother that this was not normal morning breath but easily the worst in the world. The mother thinks about this and comes up with this bright idea. She tells her daughter to get up earlier than everyone else and don't say a thing, go make breakfast and then brush her teeth while the others are eating. The young woman thinks and then runs off to get ready for the wedding, happy.
The couple is married and they are happy, him with his perpetual socks and her with her morning silences. One morning about 5:30 am the young man wakes up to find one sock missing. He starts rustling around in the bed looking for it, which of course wakes up his wife, who without thinking asks what's wrong. With a look of shock on his face the young man says, ''OH MY GOD! You've swallowed my sock!''
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- Скъпи, дай да се разменим за почивните дни? Жена в пятницу вечером: - Давай поменяемся на выходные! Ты будешь есть готовить, а я буду тебя хотеть. Un mari à sa femme: - Et si on essayait une nouvelle position ce soir? La femme: - Ouais, je suis 100 % d'accord. Toi, tu vas te mettre devant la planche à repasser et moi j'allumerai la télé, je... Чоловік звертається до дружини: — Кохана, давай сьогодні змінимо позицію! Та відповідає: — Добре, я ляжу на дивані, а ти станеш біля плитки! Ægteparret Manden: “Skal vi ikke prøve en anden stilling i aften?” Konen: “Ok, du står her og stryger, mens jeg sidder i sofaen og prutter.” Dragul meu, sunt de acord cu propunerea ta ca de Ziua Indragostitilor sa incercam o pozitie noua: eu voi sta intinsa pe canapea, voi bea bere si voi butona telecomanda, iar tu poti sa treci la... O marido perguntou a mulher: — Vamos tentar uma posição diferente essa noite? A mulher respondeu: — Boa idéia, você fica na pia lavando louça e eu sento no sofá...
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One day God came to Adam to pass on some news.
"I've got some good news and some bad news," God said.
Adam looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first."
Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other оrgаn I have for you is called a реnis. It will allow you to reproduce your life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this оrgаn to give her children."
Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?"
God looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time."
Then, God came to Eve to pass on some news too. "I've got some good news and some bad news," God said.
Eve looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first."
Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have intelligent conversations with Adam. The other оrgаn I have for you is called a vаginа. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Adam will be very happy that you now have this оrgаn to give him children."
Eve, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?"
God looked upon Eve and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time. While you're bleeding through one of them every 28 days, the other will remain useless."
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Айше и Фатме събирали цвекло. Морков Моркови Πατάτες και γύφτισες Две циганки отишли на полето за моркови и едната изкарала един доста голям морков и казала на другата: Бригада циганки вадят на полето моркови. Една от тях показва на колежката си току-що изваден морков: Циганки вадят моркови на полето. Една от тях показва на друга какъв морков е извадила: C'est deux vieilles paysannes qui ramassent des patates, à un moment l'une d'elles saisit deux grosses patates pleines de terre et dit à l'autre : - Vingt dieux elle sont comme les couilles de mon Victor ! Alors l'autre répond : - Aussi grosses !? - Non, aussi sales ! 2 paysannes ramassent des patates. La première en saisit deux grosses pleines de terre et dit à l'autre : - Vindiou ! Elles sont comme les couilles de mon mari ! - Aussi grosses ?! - Non, aussi sales ! Huguette et Raymonde sont dans les champs en train de ramasser des patates. Raymonde en ramasse deux, les montre à Huguette et dit : - On dirait les couilles de mon René ! - Aussi grosses ? - Non, mais aussi sales ! Två kärringar gick omkring på grönsaksavdelningen när den ena plockade upp en jättegurka och sa: - Den här ser precis ut som bosses pick! Hennes väninna blev mycket imponerad, och efter ett tag... Twee vrouwen staan in de tuin winterpenen uit de grond te trekken. Zegt de ene : 'Ze lijken wel op die van Gerrit'. Zegt die andere : 'Is die zo groot dan?'. Zegt de ene weer : 'Nee, zo vies.'. Deux vieilles copines sont à ramasser les patates a la campagne. Une d'elle, tenant des juliettes en main, dit: "Tu vois Germaine, ces patates me font penser aux couilles de mon Robert." "Quoi?...
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Τι κοινό έχουν οι δικηγόροι και τα σπερματοζωάρια Was unterscheidet Rechtsanwälte von Sperma? Von 5 Millionen Spermien hat wenigstens eines die Chance, ein anständiger Mensch zu werden. Каква е приликата между сперматозоидите и адвокатите? Един на милион има шанса да стане човек Was haben Männer und Spermien gemeinsam? Beide haben eine Chance von 1 zu 1 Million, ein Mensch zu werden. Quel est le point commun entre un avocat et un spermatozoïde ? - Tous les deux ont une chance sur trois millions de devenir un jour un être humain. Quelle est la ressemblance entre les hommes et les spermatozoïdes ? De tant de millions, il n'y en a qu'un qui sert. Hvad er ligheden mellem en sædcelle og en mand? - Kun en ud af en million bliver til noget ... Hvad har mænd og sædceller til fælles? – Der er 1:1000000 chance for, de udvikler sig til mennesker Mitä yhteistä on miehellä ja siittiöllä? Kummankin todennäköisyys kasvaa aikuiseksi on yksi miljoonasta. Mitä yhteistä on spermalla ja asianajajalla? - Molemmissa tapauksissa yksi miljoonasta voi tulla ihmisiseksi
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