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Mexican jokes

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Q: Why do Mexicans have tamales for Christmas?
A: So they'll have something to unwrap.
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Why were there only 5000 mexicans at the Alamo?
Because there were only 2 vans.
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What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down the hill?
A mudslide.
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Q: What travels at 200km's a hour?
A: A Mexican hearing a dollar drop to the ground.
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How do you find the population of a Mexican village?
Roll a quarter down the street.r
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I just saw a mexjcan guy walking down the street with a tv and I thought " wow, that looks just like mine." but I knew mine was at home shining my shoes.
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Q:Where does a mexican shop for books?
A: Borders
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Q: You know what would make America great again?
A: If we kept the Mexicans and deported the hipsters.
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Why is there no mexican olympics?
Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim is already across the boarder.
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What do you do when you see a вlооdy mexican standing in your backyard? Stop laughing and reload.
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Two guys are bungee-jumping one day.
The first guy says to the second.
"You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico."
The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they’ll need – a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc.
They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square.
As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble.
Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work.
The first guy jumps.
He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, the second guy notices that he has a few cuts and scratches.
Unfortunately, the second guy isn’t able catch him, he falls again, bounces and comes back up again.
This time, he is bruised and bleeding.
Again, the second guy misses him.
The first guy falls again and bounces back up.
This time, he comes back pretty messed up – he’s got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious.
Luckily, the second guy finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?"
The first guy says, "No, the cord was fine, but what the heck is a 'pinata'?"
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A Mexican, white guy, and a black guy all go to hеll and the devil told them that if they can walk across his hand without burning in flames, then he will give them a second life on earth.
The white guy was really confident...first step, he caught a fire a disappeared.
The Mexican, nervously токе the first step and noticed that he wasn't dead, he took a couple more steps and disappeared.
The black guy started walking and made it all the way across without burning to flames.
Satan was shocked and asked him how he did it and the black guy replied "chocolate melts in your mouth not your hands"
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How do you fry a Mexican?
You turn on the fence
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What do u call a Mexican getting baptized?
BEAN DIP
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Бай Ганю,турчин и американец летят в самолет. Немец, китаец, турчин и американец пътуват във влак. Reichlich Reis und Dollar 4 Nationen im Zug Пътуват в едно и също купе китаец, американец, немец и турчин. Бай Ганьо, американеца и турчина се качват на самолет, но самолетът аварирал. Пилотът казва: Era una vez un americano, un japonés, un italiano y un mexicano. Sitzen ein Deutscher, ein Chinese, ein Amerikaner und ein Türke im Zug. Nach einer halben Stunde schmeißt der Amerikaner sein Essen aus dem Fenster und sagt: " Ich hab keine Lust mehr auf diesen Fast Food Scheiß!" Eine viertel Stunde später schmeißt der Chinese seinen Laptop und MP3 Player raus:... In een vliegtuig zitten een Duitser, een Nederlander en een Turk. De Duitser gooit braadworst naar beneden en zegt “Daar hebben we meer dan genoeg van in Duitsland” De Turk gooit shoarma uit het... En un bote viajaban un moro, un colombiano y un español cuando comenzó a hundirse...el colombiano tira por la borda 100 costales de café y dice: - En mi país tenemos de sobra... El moro tira por... Suomalainen, arabialainen, somali ja amerikkalainen istuivat junassa. Amerikkalainen heitti ison rahatukun ikkunasta, koska halusi erottua joukosta ja rehvasteli: “Minulla on rahaa niin paljon,... Suomalainen, Amerikkalainen ja Turkkilainen istuivat junassa. He kiistelivät siitä,kenen maa on rikkain. Amerikkalainen heitti rahaa ikkunasta ja huusi: Näitä meillä riittää! Turkkilainen heitti...
Three guys are on a plane, ones black, ones white, and ones Mexican.
The pilot says:
"there's to much weight you all need to throw something off the plane."
The black guy throws his Jordan's and says:
"we have to many of these in our country"
The Mexican throws off his lawn mower and says:
"we have to many of these in our country".
The white guys throws the Mexican and says:
"we have to many of these in our country"
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There was a black guy, white guy, and a Mexican on a ship.
The ship was sinking so the black guy said, 'quick throw off anything we don't need.' The Mexican threw off tacos, the black guy thre off fried chicken and the white guy threw off the black guy and the Mexican.
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What did the homeless man get for christmas?
Nothing.
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If pretty women from the south are southern bells, would that make pretty women from Mexico taco bells?
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How do you get a Mexican chick to вlоw you? You decorate your wiener with leaves. Trust me, Mexicans love blowing leaves.
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A German asks a Mexican if they have any Jews in Mexico. The Mexican says, “Sí, we have orange jews, apple jews, and grape jews!”
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