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Mexican jokes

Most popular in this category
My Mexican uncle takes anti-anxiety medication
It's for Hispanic attacks
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A mexican magician told the audience he'll disappear on the count of three. He said "Uno, dos" *РООF*
He disappeared without a tres.
**edit Front page??? Thats Punbelieveable!
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I don't understand why some people say, "Taco Веll isn't real Mexican."
It gets the job done for less than half the cost. That's about as Mexican as it gets.
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How does a Mexican cut a pizza?
With *little* *caesars*
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What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein?
No Whey José.
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Two Mexican detectives were investigating the мurdеr of Juan Gonzalez.
“How was he killed” asked one detective. “With a golf gun.” Replied the second detective.
“A golf gun? What’s a golf gun?”
“I don’t know, but it sure made a hole in Juan”
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Mexicans cross the border 1...2... And 4 at one time, never 3. why?
Because the sign says - no tres passing.
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What happens when you cross a niggеr with a Mexican?
A niggеr that is to lazy to steal.
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Q: Two Mexican cousins are in the front seat of a car who's in the back?
A: their children
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Yo mama so fат, when a Mexican saw her near the border they said,"this must be Trump wall".
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Q: What did Jesus tell the Mexicans just before he died?
A: Act sтuрid until I get back.
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Q: What kind of kids do you get when a black and a Mexican marry.
A: Kids too lazy to steal.
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Q: Why do Mexicans have such small steering wheels in their car?
A: So they can drive with handcuffs on.
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Q: What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
A: Juan on Juan.
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Why do Mexicans eat beans for dinner?
So they can take bubble baths.
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Two blondes were running from the cops as they had just been caught sneeking over the border into Mexico.
They dashed up to a fence and climbed over it, lights and sirens running behind them.
As they arrived on the other side, they came face to face with a long river.
One blonde said to the other. "Here I'll shine this flashlight over the water and you can walk accross the beam of light."
The other said:
"What do you think I am, sтuрid!? I'll get halfway accross and you'll turn it off!"
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A single car crash kills a Mexican family.
15 people died.
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There are 3 men on a plane a Mexican an American and a Russian the Mexican says "I hate my country!"
And throughs a soup out the window the American says "I hate my country" and throughs a pie out the window.
The Russian says "I hate my country!"
And throughs a bomb out the window.
Then the plane lands and the Mexican sees a kid crying the Mexican says "what's wrong kid?"
The kid says "a soup fell on my mom's head and she burnt to death."
"I didn't do that" says the Mexican.
The American was walking and saw a kid crying "what's wrong kid?"
The kid says "my mom was driving and a pie fell on her windshield and drove off a cliff cause she couldn't see!"
"I didn't do that" says the American.
Then the Russian gets off the plane and saw a kid laughing his head off.
The Russian says "what's so funny?"
The kid says " daddy farted and the house went BOOM BOOM!"
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Q: What is the only thing you will ever hear being said to a Mexican wearing a 3pc suit?
A:
"Will the defendant please rise".
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Q: Whats different between a Mexican and a Pothole?
A: We serve when we see potholes in the middle of the road.
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