Military Jokes

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A Marine private was filling out a questionnaire for a correspondence course.
He got to this question:
"How long has your present employer been in business?"
He thought for a moment, then wrote:
"Since 1775."

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Military Jokes

How do you clear an Iraqi Bingo parlor?
Yell “B52”

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Military Jokes

Two men were having a conservation about their grandfathers.
One man says,
"I was very upset when my grandpa died."
The other man asks him, "How'd he die?"
The first man responds by saying, "World War II."
The other man questions him further. "Died in battle?"
"No he was skiing in Vermont. It was just during World War II."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Military Jokes

They were dancing at the service club. He held her tight, his eyes were closed, and they danced as though floating on a cloud. Then the music stopped. "Let's go out on the porch," he said.
Outside, he took her in her arms and whispered in her shell-like ear, "Darling, I love you so. Say that you love me, too. I may not be rich like Sergeant Brown. I may not have a car like Sergeant Brown or spend money like he does, but I love you so much I'd do anything in the world for you."
Two soft, white arms reached around his neck, and two ruby lips whispered in his ear, "Darling, introduce me to Sergeant Brown."

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Money jokes Military Jokes

Did you hear about the woman who was waging a war on poverty?
She bombed the soup kitchen.

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Jokes about Women Military Jokes

Sergeant (to new recruit): What were you before you joined the army?
New Recruit: Happy, Sergeant.

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Military Jokes

Whose the most vague person in the Military ?
General Direction.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Military Jokes

Two sailors got off their battleship after seven months at sea. As soon as they walked on solid ground they saw a lady walking away from them about fifty yards ahead.
Her long blonde hair caused one sailor to muster the courage to say "hello". As she turned around they could see she was at least eight months pregnant!
The wide-eyed sailor quickly apologized, "Sorry Ma'am, we thought you were alone."

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Blonde Jokes Military Jokes

There was an inn keeper who urgently needed to expand his parking lot due to his business's growing needs. However, the lot next to his, which he had purchased, was covered with tree saplings and the city had an ordinance against bulldozing trees. The inn keeper was a powerful man on the city council and was friends with all of its members. He brought up an amendment to the council to allow him to bulldoze the saplings so he could pave it for his new lot. Was he successful?
No, the "infant tree's" always beat the "Inn's urgency".

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Men jokes Military Jokes Friendship Jokes

I come from a sтuрid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the West.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Military Jokes

A sergeant gives a private a hard time. He says,
"Private, I bet you are just waiting for me to die so you can come and urinate on my grave!"
The private replied, "No sir, when I get out of the army I am not going to stand in more long, long lines!"

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Military Jokes

The US Military doesn’t seem to have recruiting problems any more since standards have been relaxed with “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”
When their tour is over, soldiers are re-upping in droves because they don’t want to leave their buddies’ behind.

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Military Jokes

A Canadian soldier is walking around in Iraq. He stumbles on a Jini's lamp, rubs it a Jini comes out and says :
"You have one wish, what would that be?" the soldier thinks a little and says " I wish for the war in Iraq to end". the Jini says em i don't think even i can do something about that. Do you have any other wish? The soldier then says "I want the Maple Leaves to win their next game" The Jini looks at the soldier and says "What was that wish about Iraq again?"

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Military Jokes

A teacher asked three students what causes war. The first student said,
"Knives." The second one said,
"Guns." The third one drew a dot on the board. The teacher asked,
"What's that?" The student replied, "A period." The teacher asked "How does a period cause war?" The student replied, "If my sister misses one, my mom will кill her."

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Military Jokes

1. Change last name to Crunch.
2. Join the military.
3. Work my way up to Captain.
4. Become Captain Crunch.

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Office and Work Jokes Military Jokes

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Military Jokes

The American military should really be worried...
Russian technology is a decade ahead of them at the moment.

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Military Jokes

Why is the military so strict about their uniforms?
To minimize casual tees...

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Military Jokes

Why are white teenagers the best for the army? They are good at shooting things up.

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Military Jokes

My Grandfather never threw anything away, bless him
He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade

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Military Jokes Old People Jokes Sick and Death Jokes