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One-Liner Jokes

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Why can't blondes be pharmacists? A: They can't figure out how to fit the perscription bottle in the typewriter.
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Clyde.
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One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes
A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was saying to his lawyer, "If I lose this case, I'll be ruined."
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One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes
"Diск Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter, a 78 year old lawyer. In fact, when people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity is now at 92 percent." -- Jay Leno
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One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes
Why do blondes have triangular coffins? A: Every time their head hits the pillow their legs spread.
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Blondinen in dreieckigen Särgen Защо погребват блондинките в триъгълни ковчези? Pourquoi les blondes préfèrent les cercueils triangulaires ? Q:Why did the blonde have a triangular coffin? A:Because as soon as her head hits a pillow she spreads her legs! Savez vous pourquoi le cercueil de la blonde, à la forme d'un "y" ? Parce que, à chaque fois qu'elle se couche sur le dos, elle ouvre les jambes ! - De ce sunt blondele inmormantate in Sicrie triunghiulare? - Pentru ca de fiecare data Cand inchid ochii deschid picioarele! Dlaczego blondynki chowają w trójkątnych trumnach? - Bo gdy zamykają oczy, to rozkładają nogi. De ce blondele au sicriu in forma de romb? .... Pt ca nu-si pot apropia picioarele! Vet du hur man vet att det ligger en blondin i likkistan? - Nej? - Den är Y-formad! Hvorfor bliver en blondine begravet i en trekantet kiste? De spreder benene, når det bliver mørkt Warum sind die Särge von Blondinen dreieckig? Sobald das Licht ausgeht, gehen die Beine auseinander. Dlaczego trumny dla blondynek są trójkątne? - Bo im się w ciemnościach nogi same rozkładają. Warum haben Blondinen dreieckige Särge? Weil sie die Beine nicht mehr zusammen bekommen...
Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
What did the blondes left leg say to her right leg?
Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Why are blondes constantly running out of ice? A: They forgot the recipe.
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Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Ice Cubes Blondes & Ice Cubes Γιατί οι πόντιοι σταμάτησαν να φτιάχνουν παγάκια το 1981; Τα παγάκια. Η συνταγή ¿Por qué en Galicia no hacen más cubitos de hielo?. ¿Por qué razón las rubias no pueden hacer cubitos de hielo? Se les olvida la receta! Pourquoi ils n'ont pas de glaçons en Belgique? - Ils ont perdu la recette ¿Por qué las mujeres no pueden hacer hielo? Porque no se saben la receta. Pourquoi les blondes ne savent-elles pas faire les glaçons? Elles n'ont pas la recette. Warum haben Blondinen keine Eiswürfel im Gefrierschrank? Sie haben das Rezept verloren. Hvorfor kan man ikke få isterninger i Århus? - De kender ikke opskriften! Hvorfor kan blondiner ikke lave isterninger? – De glemmer opskriften fra gang til gang Hvordan kan det være at man ikke få isterninger i Århus? – Fordi ham, som har opskriften er rejst væk. In de belgische horeca hebben ze geen ijsblokjes meer. Ze zijn het recept kwijt. Hvorfor finnes det ikke isbiter i Svergie? - Jo, fordi de har ikke oppskriften. - Dlaczego blondynki nie potrafią zrobić kostek lodu? - Bo ciągle zapominają przepisu. Why are there no ice cubes in the blonde's freezer? A: She forgot the recipe.
Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
A lawyer is settling accounts with his client.
"Let's do it this way," he says,
"Pay me $5000 now and then $400 a month."
"Gee," the client says,
"I feel like I'm paying for a car."
Lawyer replies,
"You are! And it's a nice one too."
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One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes
What do you call blonde twins doing bubble gum commercials? Double-dumb. Submitted by CalamjoEdited by Curtis
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
What does a blonde have in common with a noodle? A: They both wiggle when you eat them.
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
A bunch of lawyers were sitting around the office playing poker.
"I win!" said Johnson.
Henderson threw down his cards. "That's it! I've had it! Johnson is cheating!!!"
"How can you tell?" Phillips asked.
"Those aren't the cards I dealt him!"
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One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes Cheating Jokes
How do you make a blonde a brunette? Turn her upside down
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders, but the Judge dropped the charges because Chuck Norris doesn't "attempt" мurdеr.
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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes
My girl wants to change the engagement rules. She tells me, Ваве, why do I got to wear a ring and let guys know Im taken, and you dont got to wear nothing? I told her, Ваве, I wear my sad face every day.
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One-Liner Jokes
Does anybody here know what to do if a bear attacks? A lot of people do think youre supposed to play dead, which is not what youre supposed to do. And the best thing about playing dead is -- thats like a rumor that bears spread.
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One-Liner Jokes
They go, Well, you learn a lot about life growing up in a big family, dont you? Yeah, I learned that Im replaceable.
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One-Liner Jokes
Heres how you play: on your drive home tonight... when you get, like, 15, 20 minutes away from your house, take an Ambien -- and then just try to beat it. Really fun, and it makes the last part of the drive go really fast, you guys.
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One-Liner Jokes
My 5 year old:
"Do trees роор?"
Me:
"Of course they do, that’s how we get #2 pencils."
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One-Liner Jokes
When Chelsea Clinton was eight, Hillary was reading one of her favorite fairy tales."Mommy," asked Chelsea, "Do all fairy tales begin with "Once Upon a Time...?"
"
"No, dearest," replied Hillary, "sometimes they start with 'Darling, I have to work a little late at the office tonight...'"
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One-Liner Jokes American Presidents Humor
I was reading this article the other day, and it said, The perfect way to spice up your love life is to make love in a car wash. Let me tell you guys from experience -- no, it is not. Its also the perfect way to ruin a church fundraiser.
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One-Liner Jokes
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