One-Liner Jokes

Most popular in this category

"Time separates the best of friends," said one women to another.
"How true," replied the other. "Twenty years ago we were fifteen, now you're thirty-five and I'm twenty-nine!"

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One-Liner Jokes

Girl: I love you!
Boy: Hmm... And tell me, whats up??

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One-Liner Jokes

Sue and Jane are shopping together at the supermarket. When they get to the vegetables, Sue hefts a good sized potato in each hand and says,
"You know, Jane, these remind me of John's ваlls."
Jane, impressed says,
"Hmm, that big, huh?"
"No", Sue answers. "That dirтy."

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One-Liner Jokes

You know how to you make God laugh?
Tell him your plans.

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One-Liner Jokes

I could never have a тhrееsоме. This is not a тhrееsоме body. This is a turn off the lights body, leave your shirt on body -- this is a tell nobody.

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One-Liner Jokes

Using dirтy Q-tips is ear-rash-ional.

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One-Liner Jokes

A lot of people think kids say the darnedest things, but so would you if you had no education.

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One-Liner Jokes

I got pulled over by a bicycle cop in L. A. -- not a motorcycle cop, a bicycle cop. And Im in my car, and he gets out -- hes sweating, hes got these little shorts on. You know how fast you were going? Yeah, a lot faster than that bike.

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One-Liner Jokes

NED: I thought I saw a walrus on the beach!
ED: Nah, that was just a seal lyin'.

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One-Liner Jokes

My boss told me to have a good day, so i went home.

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One-Liner Jokes Boss Jokes

A blonde goes into the cleaners and drops off a blouse to be dry cleaned.
As she's leaving the clerk says,
"Come again."
The blonde stops and says,
"No, it's mustard this time."

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Why don't blondes have elevator jobs? They don't know the route.

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A blonde was having sharp pains in her side.
The doctor examined her and said,
"You have acute appendicitis."
The blonde yelled at the doctor,
"I came here to get medical help, not get a sтuрid compliment!"

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

The Local sheriff was looking for a new deputy. When a blonde walks in to try for the job, he asks her "Okay, what is 1 and 1?"

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes

What do you call a person who assists a criminal in breaking the law before the criminal gets arrested? An accomplice. What do you call a person who assists a criminal in breaking the law after the criminal gets arrested? A lawyer.

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One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes

Why did the Blonde cross the road? Who cares, what the hеll is she doing out of the kitchen!

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

The wife of a Las Vegas doctor telephoned a local casino and asked to have her husband paged."Sorry, Madam," came the reply, "but the house does not make doctor calls."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes

An obstetrician delivers a baby for a beautiful young woman. The baby has blue eyes, blonde hair, black skin and narrowed eye groves.
"You should be more careful with the оrgiеs you have" - the doctor says.
"I just thank God he is not barking" - she answered.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked,
"What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

How do you кill a blonde? Put a mirror at the bottom of a pool.

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes