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One-Liner Jokes

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"Time separates the best of friends," said one women to another.
"How true," replied the other. "Twenty years ago we were fifteen, now you're thirty-five and I'm twenty-nine!"
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One-Liner Jokes
Girl: I love you!
Boy: Hmm... And tell me, whats up??
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One-Liner Jokes
Sue and Jane are shopping together at the supermarket. When they get to the vegetables, Sue hefts a good sized potato in each hand and says,
"You know, Jane, these remind me of John's ваlls."
Jane, impressed says,
"Hmm, that big, huh?"
"No", Sue answers. "That dirтy."
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One-Liner Jokes
You know how to you make God laugh?
Tell him your plans.
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Ако искаеш да разсмееш Бог - разкажи му за плановете си! !!
One-Liner Jokes
I could never have a тhrееsоме. This is not a тhrееsоме body. This is a turn off the lights body, leave your shirt on body -- this is a tell nobody.
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One-Liner Jokes
Using dirтy Q-tips is ear-rash-ional.
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One-Liner Jokes
A lot of people think kids say the darnedest things, but so would you if you had no education.
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One-Liner Jokes
I got pulled over by a bicycle cop in L. A. -- not a motorcycle cop, a bicycle cop. And Im in my car, and he gets out -- hes sweating, hes got these little shorts on. You know how fast you were going? Yeah, a lot faster than that bike.
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One-Liner Jokes
NED: I thought I saw a walrus on the beach!
ED: Nah, that was just a seal lyin'.
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One-Liner Jokes
My boss told me to have a good day, so i went home.
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One-Liner Jokes Boss Jokes
A blonde goes into the cleaners and drops off a blouse to be dry cleaned.
As she's leaving the clerk says,
"Come again."
The blonde stops and says,
"No, it's mustard this time."
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Why don't blondes have elevator jobs? They don't know the route.
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
A blonde was having sharp pains in her side.
The doctor examined her and said,
"You have acute appendicitis."
The blonde yelled at the doctor,
"I came here to get medical help, not get a sтuрid compliment!"
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Blonde's Appendicitis
Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
The Local sheriff was looking for a new deputy. When a blonde walks in to try for the job, he asks her "Okay, what is 1 and 1?"
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes
What do you call a person who assists a criminal in breaking the law before the criminal gets arrested? An accomplice. What do you call a person who assists a criminal in breaking the law after the criminal gets arrested? A lawyer.
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One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes
Why did the Blonde cross the road? Who cares, what the hеll is she doing out of the kitchen!
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
The wife of a Las Vegas doctor telephoned a local casino and asked to have her husband paged."Sorry, Madam," came the reply, "but the house does not make doctor calls."
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Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes
An obstetrician delivers a baby for a beautiful young woman. The baby has blue eyes, blonde hair, black skin and narrowed eye groves.
"You should be more careful with the оrgiеs you have" - the doctor says.
"I just thank God he is not barking" - she answered.
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Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked,
"What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
How do you кill a blonde? Put a mirror at the bottom of a pool.
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Comment fait-on pour noyer une blonde ? Wie ertränkt man eine Blondine? Indem man einen Spiegel auf denn Boden eines Pools klebt!!! Vet du hvordan man drukner en blondine? Svar: Man plasserer et speil i bunden av et basseng. Miten blondi upotetaan? - Asetetaan peili uima-altaan pohjalle Jak najłatwiej utopić blondynkę? - Przyczepić lustro do dna. Hvordan få en blondine til å drukne seg selv i et svømmebasseng? - Man plasserer et speil på bunnen av bassenget... - Hur dränker man en blondin? - Sätter en spegel i botten av poolen! - Vet du hur man dränker en blondin? - Nej? - Det är lätt, man lägger en spegel på botten i en simbassäng Hur får man en blondin att drunkna? - Du lägger en spegel på botten av en pool. Hur dränker man en blondin? Säg inte åt henne att svälja... Lägg en spegel på botten av en pool Sätt en "luktis" på botten Hvordan kan man f. Eks drukne en blondine? Hvordan kan man f. Eks drukne en blondine? Man lægger et spejl på bunden af en swimmingpool. — Você sabe como matar uma loira afogada? Coloque um espelho no fundo da piscina. Como se mata uma loira afogada na piscina? Colocando um espelho em baixa da picina Vc sabe como a loira morre afogada em seu banheiro?? Colocando um espelhoembaixo da banheira!!
Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
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